We serve up our opinions on how well different objects work as plates
Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris
There are parts of this cathedral that are well-suited for eating off of. The floor inside is good, although you have to watch out for all the tourists and Christians constantly milling around. The roof, however, is a different story. My crepes slid right down the flying buttresses and I think I clogged up a few of those scary gargoyles. -Lori "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi" Yacovone ("Ce soi")
Breakfast cereal
I tried to put a slice of pizza on some corn flakes, and it crushed most of them. Corn flakes are almost completely useless when it comes to carrying food around or providing a barrier between food and surfaces like table or counter tops. Fortunately, pizza can be eaten without a plate, and the corn flakes are also edible. They soaked up some of the orange pizza grease and turned into this weird nacho/pizza/breakfast thing. Nancy "Corn Flakes Were Originally Developed to Keep People Regular" Millar
Marc by Marc Jacobs denim sandals
I've always thought eating out of shoes was really classy, in a kinky kind of way. And I've always thought that spaghetti was pretty sexy, what with the way you have to pucker up your lips and suck the noodles up. The sandals did not hold the spaghetti well, and the sauce pretty much went everywhere. Maybe a boot or something would work better. -Claudine "Foot Fetish" Ko
www.cnn.com
This is next to impossible. The closest I could get was putting some mashed potatoes on top of my computer monitor, which actually worked okay, except that a lot of the melted butter dripped into the ventilation slits. I'm writing this on Stephanie's computer. The CPU also provides a flat surface, but again, direct contact with food seems to damage computer parts. Besides, my computer isn't really cnn.com, it's just what I use to access that site. This test is fraught with methodological problems, I'm afraid. -Jeff "My Fucking Computer is Broken Now" Johnson
Diaphragm
Since it doesn't get used for much else these days (ahem), I tried eating off my diaphragm. It's not that big, so I thought sushi would be appropriate. I put the soy sauce/wasabi mixture into the diaphragm, and it was just right for dipping, as long as I held it. When I tried to put it down, it flattened out and spilled soy sauce everywhere. -Jessica "Raw Fish" Willis
Summer
Okay. I really didn't know what to do for this one. I waited for a hot day in June, and then went outside and threw some eggs in the pool. What do you want to hear? We all get the joke, Ane: things that you can't really use as a plate. Very funny. Esther "This Parody Magazine Sucks" Haynes
