REVIEWS

WRONGLY
Spirulina Quartet (Capitol)
Like hot butter on mashed potatoes, this album melts and turns into a translucent yellow liquid. Slightly more rockin' than Goozombie, and more boppin' than Greg Deland. Try it with corn. EFF OHNSON

PAGE 56 OF THE PELICAN BRIEF  
John Grisham (Doubleday)
This page is so freakin' great, I literally fell out of my chair after reading about three quarters of it. Try reading the whole thing. By the end of the page, you'll be laughing with fear and crying with surprise, because this is one hell of a page of a book. ANE SHATT

PLEASANT SORRY
Tall Dude Walking (EMI)
It's not just a clever name. Frontman Evan Hiederhoft is really tall (not to mention super cute!). Unfortunately, the album doesn't just have a clever name either--though pleasing enough, many of the songs seem like apologies. "Wanting to You" is a potential winner, but the chorus is just Evan sobbing pathetically. "You Can Never Forgive Me" needs a few more lyrics than "I'm sorry, so sorry" over and over. KATE HAMBREAST

GREEN
You know those days when you just want to sit down and stare at a color for hours, contemplating your place in the universe and the meaning of life? For the love of God, don't ever do that with yellow. Despite rhyming with "mellow," yellow will put crank your bad vibes to majorly high levels. Try green. It's like yellow, but with blue mixed in. What a fucking concept. JOSHUA LIAR

TRUDE
Spood (Pretentious Records)
You know how some bands really do make you cooler when you listen to them? Like other bands that I like that you've never heard of, Spood really knows how to make losers feel uncomfortable for not being familiar with it. And that's really what buying albums is all about. ANE SHATT

GOD
Whether you'll like this supernatural entity depends on what kind of person you are. Control freaks may respect an all-powerful deity, but ultimately resent their lot as created and controlled beings. Hippies often enjoy ideals of universal love and benevolence, but may be turned off by eternal retribution in another world for the sins of this one. Masses will almost certainly feel opiated by the whole idea. KLAUDINE CO

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM   
Christopher Barkeley's latest film about the difficulties involved in being a hermaphroditic cyborg is really more of a rehashing of earlier films. Like This is Not Time Avenue, this film begins and ends with a question directly asked of the audience. Other elements resurface again and again, making me wonder if I couldn't have just rented a "Best of Barkeley" tape instead. ETHER HAYNES

OCEAN SURF
Magic Moods (LDMI Quebec)
The ultimate in relaxation. This disc invites you to close your eyes, relax, and listen as the ocean surf tears apart then gently caresses the golden sand. Listen to the seagulls and the stress of modern living dissolve to the endless roar of the breaking surf. ENYA UNT

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