Katy McGruff asks Pac-Man what's eating him
That's Mister Pac-Man to you. The round, yellow powerhouse has his own video game franchise (duh!), has starred in an animated series, and has eaten billions and billions of little white pellets. He's currently doing a lot of investing--don't worry, he's already recovered from the "dot-bomb" blowout--and is working on an illustrated book of poetry. And about all those people who point out that you never see him and Ms. Pac-Man at the same time? No comment.
Seen any ghosts lately?
Oh, god no. I stopped messing around with that kind of stuff a long time ago. You know, a lot of people get into that because of the money, but there has to be more. You've gotta have the love.
You didn't have the love?
Well, I shouldn't say that. I loved it, every second of it. But not enough to grow old running up and down those corridors until it was the end of me.
From what I remember, it was the end of you plenty of times.
Oh, yeah, but that's all the magic of video game make-believe. You don't think Hamlet's dead just because he's been killed on stage thousands of times, do you?
Well, I mean, the actor's not dead . . . but the character wasn't really ever . . . forget it. What was the deal with those pellets, anyway?
Uh, energy pellets. Can't you think of anything better than that?
Sorry. What do you think about Ms. Pac-Man's success?
I couldn't be happier for her. She's a symbol for a lot of people. Total embodiment of first-wave feminism. People talk a lot of bullshit about me and her: are they a couple, are they the same person, blah blah. I can't stand talking about that stuff. Don't even think of asking me that. But when it comes down to it, she's one of the great American success stories.
Yeah, what do you think about Ms. Pac-Man as a feminist icon? A lot of people question her commitment to an assimilative ideal of gender politics, the way that she's just a female version of you, no difference other than lipstick and a bow--I mean, she has "man" in her name, for Pete's sake. It's a messed-up model that success for women should just be the same as men's success except in lipstick.
Yeah, those are legitimate criticisms of Ms. Pac-Man. But that was a different time; feminism has come a long way. But, man, in the eighties, it was so exciting that she was "Ms," not Mrs. or Miss. The ambiguity there was a big part of what led to the controversy about our relationship, and that's a price that both of us were willing to pay. We thought it was important. And she doesn't go by "Ms. Pac-Man" any more--that was all a marketing thing, anyway.
Do you keep in touch with any of the other characters from the game?
No, not really. It was a kind of hostile work environment, you know. Those guys weren't always pulling their punches as much as they could have been. They resented that I was the big name. A lot of times they did get treated like second-rate stunt men, though. They had a legitimate bone to pick with the producers, but they always took it out on me. I don't hear from them now, and I don't miss them.
Woah. I didn't know it was like that.
Yeah, I mean, I like to think it could have been different, but they're ghosts, they just don't have a lot of class.
What are you eating these days?
I still eat a lot of fruit and a pretzel here and there, but I don't eat energy pellets anymore, if that's what you're getting at. Those things are really high in simple sugars. They provide a quick rush, but your body stores them as fat if you don't use them up. With my body type, I have to be moving constantly to burn that kind of crap off. I try to get more complex carbohydrates, and I stay away from the high-fat stuff, especially red meat.