It should have been my motto all along. But as I get older, I realize more and more that it's all flammable in this life. Love, money, hope, fear, even memories. So what do I take with me? Nothing. Not to depress anyone, but do you notice that there is a lot going on outside of the galaxy of one? Meaning, the sun doesn't revolve around the earth, but rather, the earth revolves around me. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a self-centered individual. I work to have an apartment and go shopping and eat at fun hip new restaurants. And the best part is knowing I earned it. But whoever said those things were worth earning? Maybe they are, and there's no harm in working hard I suppose. But there are times when I think, it could all be gone. Everything. Then what. Just what. What would I do? Again the solar system is revolving around planet me and I wonder if any of it will ever change. The thing is, I know how to do unto others and all that. I was raised with Godly principles. But honestly, it seems as if I am still doing it for myself. I say I want to serve the Lord. But do I really? Or am I just covering myself so I don't get burned (literally). That's why everything must go. All these thoughts and shackles keeping me in this self-perpetuating machine of outdoing yesterday. I'm tired, and I ate too much ice cream. I want a peaceful evening without too much depth. I want to love and hope and fear the way I was meant to. With nothing but an axis to follow. Now I just wish I had payed more attention in Science.                                                                                                         Monday, August 11, 2003