This is one of those topics where I look like a non-conformist in a most obvious way. It's also one that proves I can think for myself and have original ideas. At least, I've never heard of anyone else saying similar things unless I said it to them first. Anyway, it's something to think on and I hope everyone agrees at least with the main point of this rant.
November 22, 2005
The whole ideal of "legal" marriages bug me. Marriage should be legal, or rather, it shouldn't be illegal, of course. However, it shouldn't be government regulated. Marriage isn't a thing having to do with laws. It doesn't have anything to do with how the government is run. It is a spiritual thing. It is the bonding of two people; heart and soul. That is what marriage is.
So why the whole debate over who can and can't get married? As far as benefits go, no one should get them just because they're married. All giving benefits for married couples does anyway is promote marrying just for the sake of receiving benefits. False marriages is, well, sacreligious.
Government should stay out of marriage all together. I don't just mean federal. I mean state and local and any other form someone suddenly decides to come up with. Marriage is not a government-thing. It's not for the government to stick its nose in. It's not for the government to regulate.
If businesses and such wish to offer benefits to married couples, such as things including health-care coverage or membership to some club or whatever, fine. Such businesses, of course, have to adhere to laws stating that they can't discriminate against religion. So when a couple present marriage information, the business cannot exclude the couple because of the religious group they were married in. If they find some other way to avoid offering the benefits because due to discrimination, well, they'll just have to expect a lawsuit backed up by everyone in that particular religious group.
If it wasn't obvious from the above paragraph, my solution is marriage through one's faith. One must have a belief in the union of heart and soul for marriage, so obviously no one truly secular would even believe in the act of marriage. Those wishing to be married must go their church, synagogue, temple, coven, group, whatever for their marriage.
This leaves open a number of problems where originally the solution would be to just go to the court house. So let's discuss these.
The first problem is couples from two different religious groups. One solution may be to have two marriage ceremonies, one for each group. If one of the groups is against inter-religious marriages, then marriage at the the other's group would be the solution (though this would bring conflict with the other religious group-- a sacrafice that would have to be made for the marriage). If both groups are agaist the mingling, then the couple would have to decide if it's worth the sacrafice. If they agree, then either finding a new group they agree with or another solution would be idea. The other solution will be discussed later.
The next problem (and I'm going to bunch a few here) are couples that are either of two different races, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, and so on and so forth. If such couples are a part of a religious group that does not agree to their choice, either they can fight their group to understand or they can simply find another group. Of course, an other alternative is possible, but will be discussed below.
For the sake of not remembering every situation I had meant to address, I'm going to go ahead and discuss that other alternative solution. This would also be a solution for those with no faith group or those who are mostly secular save for the belief in marriage. Where the courthouse would have been the solution, this one will be the ultimate solution. A church, temple, group, or whatever we will call it dedicated solely to marriage. This is a group that does not care what your beliefs are, what group you do or originally belong to. It doesn't care what the color of your skin is versus your spouse. It doesn't care what gender or whatever you both are. It doesn't care about your lifestyle or anything else specific groups may discriminate against. All it cares about is that the couple in question believe in the idea of marriage and truly wish to be married. The group would work with the couple to design a ceremony that would fit their beliefs and preferences. If the couple do not want to have a ceremony and simply wish to have the papers necessary to receive benefits from their place of work or whatever else they may feel the need for them, it can be arranged.
Such a group would only need exist for a few small reasons. The business-benefit point mentioned earlier is one. Another would be for couples who simply need it in writing to feel that it's official. Also, in a world where anyone can go out, have a religious ceremony, and be married spiritually, but without the paperwork have friends and relatives of different religious persuasions claim it to be a false marriage, the papers would simply serve as a reminder that no true marriage is invalid.
In other words, I personally think such a group would be useless. People can be married without any sort of paperwork and have a valid marriage. It's not necessary. If we were to do it, such a group would only be around until society gets over the change. It would merely be a tool to fill in social gaps, so to speak. Other than that, it could be looked at as a place to feel safe and welcome when those around you make you feel dirty or wrong just for being who you are and loving those you care most about. It would be a moral-support group to all those who find themselves in a closed-minded world.
All of this being said, I'd like to point something out. I think this is a wonderful plan. Of course, as with all plans, I'm sure there's gaps or something not thought out just right that would cause something to not go the way it's meant to. The thing is, I present this as an example. I don't expect our society to accept and work with it overnight. Even if this plan were accepted by the masses, there's no saying it would succeed. Other plans may be just as good, or even better. The point is, the fact that such a plan exists and is reasonable proves that there is no need for the government to regulate marriage. It is a spiritual thing and should be left to individuals to work it out. Besides, marriage being a spiritual/religious thing, government having any business to do with it is Unconstitutional. Yay for First Amendment rights.
