The Car Dealership

Brenda is at the car dealer ship on Valentine's Day talking to the salesman about the British racing green Jag they are looking at.
B: (to car salesman): Don’t insult me. So what’s the electrical like on this?
Salesman: Fine.
B: Well, yeah, I know it used to be a problem but since they changed the system a few years ago-
Salesman: No,no, no, no...we get very few complaints. I bet you’re wondering where the battery is.
B: It’s in the trunk.
The salesman slams down the hood and Sonny is looking at them.
S: You underestimate the young lady’s expertise.
B: Uh, it happens all the time.
S: So, you seriously thinking about buying this car?
B: Very seriously
S: Mmmm....
B: I mean, anyone with any intelligence knows that this is one of the finest automobiles in the world.
Salesman: Will you excuse me for a minute? I have a call.
S: (to salesman) Sure. It certainly is a beauty.
B: Yeah - You know I always wanted to be the kind of woman to get one of these for a Valentine’s Day gift and now I am. (she gets into the passenger side of the green Jaguar.)
S: Isn’t the uh..the gentleman here to help you pick it out?
B: No.
S: You know, a boyfriend?
B: No, I don’t have one.
S: Oh....you must have a very generous daddy.
B: No, he’s dead.
S: “Sorry, I’m a little lost. Ummm...you said this was a Valentine’s day gift?
B: “Yeah, from the person who loves me most, ME!” (smiling)
S: “Right.” (smiling)
B: “Yeah, why not?
S: “That’s a hefty chunk of change to be laying down for a girl such as yourself.
B: “Yeah but I’ve earned every penny of it.
S: “Do I want to know how?” (both smiling A LOT now)
B: “I’m a professional....model.
S: “Yeah right....perfume.
B: “Yeah, Deception, you’ve seen the ads?
S: “Very nice, very nice indeed!
B: “Well I figured since I’ve worked so hard, I deserve a special Valentine’s but it seems I’m a little short on sweethearts this week, so I guess I’ll have to buy my own little trinket.
S: “And a h*ll of a trinket it is! So, why this model?
B: “Look at it. I mean, it’s the sexiest car on the road. This car has been my fantasy forever.
S: “No kidding.
B: “Mmmhmmm...
S: “And how do you determine sex appeal?
B: “Power is very important. I mean, 12 cylinders pumping under the hood is about as good as it gets. And there is the physical appearance.
S: Ap-appearance counts right?
B: “Oh yeah, it helps to look good. I mean, have you looked at this car? (Brenda starts stroking the car) Have you looked at the way the roof blends into the window and the window kind of *flows* right into the back? (Brenda stroking the window).
S: “Wow.
B: “It’s definitely a turn on.
S: “So, this is a little laid back for you?
B: “Noooo, this is a classic. I mean, this car reminds me of Zelda Fitzgerald or Isadora Duncan, you know the Great Gatsby? Another place and time. Sometimes I think I was born too late.
S: “Let’s hope not.
B: “Excuse me?
S: “ Do you have a color in mind?
B: “There’s only one color for this car honey, British racing green!
S: “I’m starting to get a sense of commitment here but its kind of interesting, because its not how I imagined you at all.
B: “Go on.
S: “That, (pointing out to Brenda the bright red Porsche) is you.
B: “Is it?
S: “It’s sleek, racy, very, very uh.....
B: “Red?
S: “Exotic and if you’re nice, I might let you try it.
B: “You’re buying this? I might have guessed.
S: “Meaning?
B: “Well, it’s um.....I don’t know, it’s flashy. I mean, there’s nothing subtle about this car, no offense.
S: “It’s definitely blatant. But see that’s kind of like, the appeal.
B: “I see what you mean.
S: “I never saw a beautiful brunette (he opens the car door of the Porsche and Brenda gets in the passenger side), in a red sports car that I did not want to know better.
B: “Well, that may be but....they’re still like night and day. I mean..it’s like the difference between old money and new.
S: “Obviously, one is stuffy and formal and full of rules and restrictions, and the other is basically out looking for a good time, but they’re both right on a lot of juice.
B: “Yeah, but *that* one (looking at green Jag) has prestige.
S: “Yeah, they’ll love it at the country club, the *Quartermaines* will be beside themselves!
B: “And what’s wrong with that?
S: “Well, nothing, if that’s the crowd you want to move in.
B: “Yeah, well it wouldn’t hurt you any, I mean a man in your position, you know?
S: “Hmmm..yeah, what would I need with that crowd?
B (getting out of the car): “The Quartermaines just happen to pull a lot of strings around here and you just never know when they might come in handy.
S: “Yeah, I’ll remember that.
B: “They’d definitely be good for your reputation.
S: “That’s what its all about, isn’t it? Developing a reputation which feeds into an image and suddenly you create a whole new reality.
B: “You want to talk about image? I sell perfume in the pages of a magazine.
S: “None of that scratch ‘n’ sniff for you, huh?
B: “No, I do it all with my eyes.
S: “Yeah, I’ve noticed. How old are you Brenda?
B: “Old enough to make up my own mind.
S: “No doubt.
B: “I’m 18, you have a problem with that?
S: “Not even a little. You’re only young once sweetheart, don’t waste it.
(Sonny walks away and the salesperson walks by. Brenda grabs the salesperson’s arm.)
B: “Excuse me, I need to find out about financing. Can you write up the papers for me?
Salesperson: “Absolutely. You will adore this car” (salesman pointing at the green Jaguar).
B: “No, the red one.” (grinning)
Salesperson: The convertible?
B: “Shhh....I don’t want anyone to know. I’ll be back later.
Salesperson: “Of course.
(Brenda walks away, picks up her coat and walks up to Sonny who is studying the red Porsche.)
B: “Bye.
S: “Happy Valentine’s Day Brenda, see ya on the golf course.
(Sonny walks up to the salesperson after Brenda leaves the showroom.)
S: “It’s your lucky day pal. Two big ticket items in the course of an hour.
Salesperson: “Oh sir, but if you are referring to the convertible...
S: “No, no, no, that one” (pointing to the green Jag).
Salesperson: “Oh, do you know which color?”
S: “Do I know *which* color? There’s only one color for this car.
(grinning as he looks on at the green Jaguar.)

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