The Place: Luke’s

Sonny~

“What do you think you’re doing Bren?” I say leaning up against the bar. She’s still beautiful, even after all of these years, all of this pain

“Obviously not avoiding you very well.” She says turning her back and paying more attention to her drink.

“Brenda how much have you had to drink.” I say not allowing her to give me the brush off.

“Not enough to enjoy your company that’s for sure.” She says rolling her eyes.

“What’s wrong with you Brenda?” I ask worriedly, what had happened to that beautiful, happy, young girl?

“Besides the fact that you won’t stop bothering me? Nothing, but even that’s not really any of your business, now is it?” There was such a pain in her voice that it was like a dagger through my heart.

“It’s my club.” I say trying to validate my reasons without giving away the truth.

“You own a quarter and both Luke and Roy, like me more than you.” She says again turning her attention back to her drink.

“Where’s Jax?” I ask, wondering how he can just let her be alone like this. If she was my wife, I would never leave her side. Yet I see her in here all the time, alone.

“Why won’t you go away?” she says looking up at me, I realize I'm hurting her by being here.

“Because I’m worried about you.” I answer truthfully

“There’s no reason to be, I’m fine.”

“Then why’d I just see you pop a pill in your mouth.”

“My doctor gave them to me Sonny.”

“Your doctor gave them to you the last time.” Doesn’t she realize what she’s doing?

“Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?”

“I sound like a friend.” I sound like someone, who's dying seeing her suffer like this, seeing her destroy herself slowly.

“You’re not my friend Sonny, you never have been and we both know that.”

“All those years together Brenda, didn’t they mean anything to you? You told me once they did.” I say hurt, those years meant everything to me, even now.

“They did then, right now they’re just more a past that I wish I could forget.”

“It wasn’t all bad.”

“No you’re right about that. Some of it was so incredibly amazing it still shatters my mind to think about it…The other parts Sonny, they nearly destroyed me, they still are destroying me.”

“Bren” I say shaking my head

“No, don’t bother. Wanna know an amusing little fact, a little analogy if you if you will. The drug ecstasy, they say if you have sex while on it, you can never have sex again without it or at least you won’t have nearly as much fun. You’ll never be satisfied again without it.”

I just look at her staring into her drink, what was I supposed to say to that.

“Have you seen my life Sonny? God it’s a f-cking dream, every little girl’s fairy tale dream. Jax, my handsome prince, he loves me, adores me, worships me. We’re beyond being millionaires, he’s a CEO and I’m a model. Everyone dreams of my life, yet it leaves me empty.”

My heart’s breaking, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be with her. If I leave Carly I go to jail, there’s nothing I can do to take away her pain, there’s no way I can ever be with her again.

“These pills” she says pulling the out of her purse “They barely even numb the pain anymore. Everyone’s dream is my nightmare, my never ending nightmare.”

“Bren” I whisper, I go to wipe away her tears but she knocks away my hand.

“Don’t.” she says turning to face me “Just don’t.”

“If I could take away your pain I would. If I could do anything I would.”

“I’d give it all to you willingly” She starts to laugh “Who am I kidding, no I wouldn’t. It would destroy me to see you in this type of pain. It’s sick how much I still love you. It disgusts me to know that I would rather live in this hell with these memories than to forget one single instant.”

I wish more than anything that I could take her in my arms, but I know if I do I will never let her go again and I can’t do that.

“My husband’s waiting” She says standing

“Why don’t you leave him?”

“For what. Why? There’s nothing else out there for me. I mean it hurts me to know that I don’t love him like he loves me, but I think I fake it pretty well. I think I would rather have an imitation life, than no life at all. Live everyone’s dream. Like I was saying I really have to go, my cab should be outside by now.”

“Bren” I say catching her arms as she turns to go

“What Sonny?” she says annoyed

“I love you.”

Her eyes close for a second “I know” she replies back and walks out of the bar and I’m just left staring at the closed door.

THE END

Sonny and Brenda Fan Fiction Index

MBFC Fan Fiction Index

MBFC Index