|
Amber's Story.... My name is Lanette Salisbury and this is the story of our precious daughter Amber. I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant. I woke up early and snuck out of bed to try the pregnancy test. After a few minutes I checked the test and was disappointed not to see the 2 lines appear on the test. I went back to bed and then got up at my usual time. I noticed the pregnancy test and saw that there were actually 2 faint lines----could it be?!! I had a doctor appointment a few days later and it was confirmed that yes, I was pregnant!! My husband Mark hadn't been so sure I was pregnant so we drove straight to his office and my daughter Kayla gave her Daddy a card telling him that she was going to be a big sister!! Mark was so excited and tears filled his eyes. There was nothing we wanted more than adding more children to our family and we were thrilled!! My pregnancy with Amber was totally normal all the way through other than getting lots of Braxton Hicks contractions from 6 months onwards. I was also borderline gestational diabetic but just had to watch my diet and exercise. Amber was our 2nd child and it seemed sometimes that I was so busy with my daughter Kayla and working part time that I would almost forget I was pregnant again. With my first pregnancy I had worried about everything and anything that could go wrong but since we had now been through it before I never thought that anything could go wrong. All the tests came back normal and I had 2 ultrasounds. The first ultrasound at 23 weeks where we saw our baby for the first time and she "waved" at us. We wanted to find out the sex of our child but they wouldn't tell us due to ethnic problems of people aborting babies because they're girls (I can't imagine!). We had another ultrasound at 28 weeks as I was getting a lot of contractions so they wanted to check everything. Everything was fine and normal and I was just told to try and rest more. At our 2nd ultrasound we asked again if she could tell the sex of our baby and she told us we were having a girl. We were so excited!! From that moment on our 'baby' became "Amber" and suddenly she had so much more personality and we started to dream about "her" and make plans. We were so excited to think that our daughter Kayla would have a little sister to play with so close together in age. The rest of my pregnancy went on quite normally. I finished work a few weeks early so that I could rest more and kept going to my weekly doctor appointments where everything continued to be fine. Amber was a very active baby and it seemed if I wasn't getting contractions she was kicking up a storm and I never had much peace or sleep (now I wish I could have that all back again!). On November 9th I went for my regular dr. appt (38 weeks pregnant) and we listened to the heartbeat and my doctor noted that I was dilated a few centimetres. She said that it was quite normal on your 2nd pregnancy to dilate sooner and have increasing contractions before you actually go into labour. I was feeling really lousy that day and my doctor said that maybe I was in the early stages of labour but to hang on until Nov.15th as she was going out of town for a few days. On November 10th I was quite busy and actually felt better than I had in a long time. I didn't really notice the decreased movement until I commented to my husband that Amber hadn't moved much that day. He tried to assure me that she was just slowing down in preparation for labour but after sitting with my hands on my stomach for another hour and not feeling any movement we went to the hospital to get things checked out so I would be able to sleep that night. Well, I never did sleep as they hooked me up to the moniter at the hospital and as the nurse tried to find the heartbeat all I heard was the dreadful SILENCE. I couldn't believe it and started to cry! Another nurse came to check as well and she couldn't find it either. She apologized and said that there was still a chance my baby was alive but the only way they could confirm it was to do an ultrasound and we would have to wait until the morning when they would call in the oncall doctor as my doctor was out of town (it was a stat holiday in Canada). I said that there was no way I was going to go through the night wondering if my baby was still alive or not so they managed to get a radiologist to come in to do the ultrasound where we saw the sad reality that our baby's heart wasn't beating. My labour was induced the next morning by the oncall obstetric doctor who was very medical and didn't seem to realize what was going on. I told him that I wanted an epidural (with my 1st child I didn't have any medication during labour) and he said that he didn't think it was necessary as I was going to have a normal delivery---how could this be normal?!!! I had wonderful nurses and after 3 hours of labour they got an epidural for me which helped take away the physical pain but not the emotional pain. As the labour progressed I continued to pray for a miracle that somehow my daughter would surprise us all and come out yelling and screaming. But it was not to be, our daughter Amber was born at 5:40pm and weighed 6lbs, 11oz and was absolutely perfect. I'll never forget that moment when she came out and they placed her directly on my chest and I just sobbed as I didn't know what to do with her still quiet body. She was such a beautiful baby and it was so hard to understand why she wasn't breathing. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days and got to have Amber with us as much as we wanted. My husband was wonderful and I don't know what I would have done without him. He was right there with me through it all and we cried and held her and grieved together. We enjoyed admiring all her features and noticed that she had a lot of my features, including red hair!! We rocked her and sang to her and somehow kept expecting her to wake up. Our families and close friends came to see us and hold Amber and I am so thankful for the time that we spent with her. My husband's family flew over from England to be with us as well. At the funeral for Amber a dear friend of ours, Mr. Bouwman, spoke and he spoke of how the Lord is our Shepherd and how He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to his heart (Isaiah 40:11). What a comfort to think of our daughter being held in the arms of the Lord Jesus! We had an autopsy done and they didn't find anything wrong with her and I think I find that the hardest to understand as I keep wondering what if she had been delivered a few days earlier?, what if, what if?!! It is most likely that Amber died of SADS (Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome)which is the same as SIDS only it occurs in the womb in the few weeks before delivery or during labour. We don't know the reason Amber was taken from us but we do know that God is in control of everything in our lives and even though this has been so difficult we have the peace in knowing that Amber is in heaven and we'll see her again one day. If you read this far you have a lot of stamina---thanks for reading!! "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans for Good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11I believe I believe in the sun written on a wall in a concentration camp |
