By - Lugia222
Ranma: Ready, Set, GO!
The great cook/eat off began. Ukyo making the Okonomiyaki, Lina eating it. Whoever won would sit back and watch the loser wash the dishes. And knowing Lina's appetite, this could go on for a while. After the 30 minute mark, Gourry tried to grab a slice of Okonomiyaki, but decided not to again after getting a fork jabbed into his hand. For 90 minutes Ukyo cooked as fast as she could, and for 90 minutes Lina ate as much as she could. But, the contest came to a screeching halt.
Lina: I'm...... so....... full.........
Ukyo: I'm...... so....... tired........ I won't be able to lift my spatula arm again for months.
Gourry: Wait a minute! If both of you stopped at the same time....
Ranma: Who's going to do the dishes?
As Lina's face curved into an intimidating sneer, Ukyo went to fetch some aprons.
Lina: Since you were so generous to offer.....
Ukyo: You get to do the dishes!
Lina and Ukyo: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
As Gourry and Ranma were locked in the kitchen with 57 and ½ piles of dirty dishes, someone just decided to drop by.
Kodachi: Hi!
Akane: KODACHI? What are YOU doing here?
Kodachi: I thought I'd come over and share some of my freshly baked DELICIOUS cookies with my Ranma.
Akane: Hey! I make good cookies!
Kasumi: Not when you replace vanilla extract with cooking oil and flour with salt!
Lina: Now we know why XELLOS cooked.
Amelia: Now Miss Lina, that is a very unjust statement!
Xellos: Well, Amelia, would you like some leftover Mangdragora soup?
Amelia: *face becomes pale* I take that back...
Akane: *while picking up a table* SO THAT'S WHY YOU COOKED! *Whacks Xellos unexpectedly. The mangdragora soup falls to the floor, burning its way through the dirt.
Zelgadis: I wonder why it didn't burn through the bowl....
--Later That Night-
For some reason, we now find Ryoga sneaking around the Tendo residence. What he's looking for, we don't know. What he's stepping in right now, you really DON'T want to know. Anyway... he seems to have found what he wants.
Ryoga: *whisper* Ha! Ranma's room! I'll kill him in his sleep. Well, it really isn't my style... but... desperate times call for desperate measures!
Ryoga now climbs up the wall and into the window of Ranma's room. However, little does Ryoga know that Ranma is only 1/4 done with the dishes with Gourry.
Ryoga: *whisper* Where is Ranma? Oh well... I'll just... rest....*yawn....my.....eyes......*SNORE*
Happosai: *whisper* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll get Ranma again with the *echoing* Ultimate.... Weakness..... MOXIBUSTION!!!!!!!!!
As Happosai can hardly see in the darkness, he does not even realize that he is really sapping Ryoga's strength!
Happosai: Now what a hard decision: spreading Ranma is weak notes, or going for the panties....... Well, maybe some pantie heisting, and then some notes! Wheeeeeeeeee!
--The Next Morning-
As Japan wakes up, Happy spreads his "Ranma Is Weak" notes. Mousse, Principal Kuno, Gosunkugi, Kuno, and Ryoga all wake up finding one under their noses. However, what none of them knows is that Ryoga is the one that is now weak! But, he himself will find out shortly.
Ryoga: Ranma is weak! Again!? Will that sick panty perv ever give up? Oh well... hmmmmmm looks like I have to prepare myself! *he tries to lift his umbrella* What? Why can't lift it? Wait.. I can't stand up! I can't get my backpack off! HELP!!!!! I'M LYING DOWN AND CAN'T GET UP!!!!!
--Meanwhile, In The Living Room-
Lina: Good Morning everyone!
Ukyo: Good morning! Geez, are they STILL washing dishes!?
Akane: I think so. After all, you did use every single dish we had. And considering this is a big family, we have a lot of dishes. And, Ranma and Gourry are lazy, so it should take them a while.
Shampoo: *running through the door* Nihao! Where Ranma? Something bad happen to Ranma!
Akane: He's in the kitchen with Gourry! He's been up all night? What's wrong?
Shampoo: I find this note in morning!
Everyone began staring at the note.
Note: "Ranma is weak AGAIN! Commence attacks at 10:00 AM!"
Ukyo: Not AGAIN!!!!! Does that pervert ever give up? Seriously... well, at least Ranma knows the Hiryu ShotenHa.
Lina: Well, I have NO idea what's going on... but... OH NO! What will Ranma do?!
Akane: Long story. We'll explain later. But, it's 9:55! What'll we do!
Shampoo: Cologne still have moxibustion chart! Can cure Ranma again! Hold off shampoo and others until get back!
Akane: Ok. Let's check on Ranma!
--In Kitchen-
Ranma: That makes.... Four thousand... nine hundred... and seventy two dishes. How many more do we have Gourry?
Gourry: Um, I lost count after 5.
Ranma: *face vault* Ok, so, we have a lot left.. And I need some sleep.
Akane: *busting through door* What happened! Ranma, are you ok!?
Ranma: What are you talking about! I was FORCED to do nine THOUSAND dishes! Do you THINK I'm OK?
Akane: But, you're weak! How can you even lift that plate!
Ukyo: Yeah, Happy got you while you were sleeping!
Ranma: But, I haven't been asleep since yesterday.
Akane: Then... who?
Ryoga: HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ukyo: Did you hear domething?
Gourry: I heard water running!
*Everyone Face Vaults*
Akane: So, what will happen when it's...
Unluckilly for our friends, at that moment the Grandfather clock decided to strike ten. And at that very momeny, none other then some of our friends showed up. Kuno, Gosunkugi, Principal Kuno, and others showed up loaded with weapons to fight Ranma with. Although, when they got there, in a minute it was over. They all lay sprawled on the floor, and Ranma and Gourry just continued to do their dishes. Then, Shampoo got back.
Shampoo: Nihao! *sees bodies sprawled on the floor* What happen to them? I brought Cologne to cure Ranma! But, Ranma not hurt!
Akane: It turns out that Happosai didn't get Ranma. But, if he didn't Ranma, who did he get?
Ryoga: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akane: RYOGA!?
5 Minutes later Ryoga was cured. He was strong again, and stupid as he was tried to attack Ranma. The Tendo's will be fixing that roof for months, after THAT Hiryu ShotenHa. But, Happosai was not happy. And with a splash of cold water, he went for the Girl's underclothing. But, due to some fancy spell-casting, he got a talking-to from Amelia.
Amelia: Now Happosai! This is TOTALLY unjust! In the name of justice, truth, and love, I condemn your actions and demand that you stop! It is so blatently unjust that you'd do this that I just can't BELIEVE someone hasn't talked to you before about this! Now, if you EVER do this again, I swear I will COME BACK and for an entire hour yell in your ear the word justice until you learn! Now, Akane, I trust that you will keep this fire of justice going in your heart, and take this Justice Mallet, so that every time this pervert does this, he will be punished in the name of JUSTICE!!!!
Akane: Rriiiiiiiiiiiiight. Well, at least I get to hit Happosai!
And, that was that. Of course, much to the effect of our conveniently placed portals, when Gourry was done, and the slayers gang was together a bewildered Lina, tired Gourry, satisfied Anemia, left-out Zelgadis, and pre-occupied Xellos and Filia fell into a portal, and left the Ranma world forever. Well, at least for now.
Next Time: TWO Mysterious Preists? Lina, in a eating contest again? (Wait, that's not so suprising). 7 warriors? How odd will THIS one get? Find out in: Slayers Parody #5: The Hillarious Play!