Me: Hi everyone and welcome to another interview! Today we have here with us a friend referred to me by the great sorceress Lina Inverse. Welcome to the show sir.
Gourry: What? Who? Where? Show? I thought this was a buffet!
Me: Er...no. So, what's your name?
Gourry: Gourry Gabriev.
Me: Well it's nice to have you on the show Mr. Gourry Gabriev. Tell me, how old are you?
Gourry: Last time I checked I was...um...er...uh...what comes after 21?
Me: 22?
Gourry: Yeah! I'm 22!
Me: Hmmmm...do you have any family?
Gourry: Er, last time I checked, no.
Me: You're SURE? Because I vaguely remember Lina telling me earlier that you had some sort of green-haired cousin or something.
Gourry: If I do, I've never met him.
Me: Oh, so then, who's your best friend?
Gourry: Food.
Me: I meant your best human friend.
Gourry: Oh, uh...good question...probably my sword.
Me: Your sword isn't human.
Gourry: It isn't?
Me: No.
Gourry: Oh, then I guess Lina. After all, I'm her protector.
Me: Oh? Tell me Gourry, do you have a girlfriend?
Gourry: *Blushing* NO!!! And even if I did, it wouldn't be that selfish little flat-chested runt! Besides, what makes you think it's her anyways? You can't prove that! Quit asking me!
Me: Er...what flat-chested little runt?
*Suddenly Lina comes barreling through the doors.*
Me: *Shocked* What...? Argh! Remind me to put a deadbolt on those doors.
Lina: I AM NOT A FLAT-CHESTED LITTLE RUNT!!! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT!!!
*Lina starts to summon up a fireball.*
Me: ACK!!! *Dives behind her chair.*
Gourry: *With a look of total bewilderment* What's that Lina?
Lina: Whaddya think? FIREBALL!!! *Lauches a fireball and Gourry*
Gourry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HOT HOT HOT!!!
*BOOM!!! The fireball explodes, sending everybody flying.*
Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
*WHAM!!! Everybody lands back in the studio.*
Me: Owie...
Gourry: *Having landed on his head.* Good thing I landed on my head instead of my butt, it's hard to keep it looking this good you know.
Me: *Suddenly very frightened* Where's Lina?
Gourry: She flew away. See? *Points on a person flying over the mountains, a trail of smoke in behind her.*
Me: Oh. S-s-so then, um, what's your favorite thing to do?
Gourry: EAT!!!
Me: *A little surprised by this reaction* Oh...so, what's your favorite food then?
Gourry: Um, well, now that you mention it, everything!
Me: Wow, you must be the least picky eater on Earth!
Gourry: What's Earth?
Me: Um, the planet we live on.
Gourry: Er, maybe where you live, I live in a two-dimensional flat plain.
Me: Oh. So tell me Gourry, why don't you cut your hair?
Gourry: ME?!? CUT MY HAIR?!?! NEVER!!! *Pats hair* I'm sorry you had to hear that, I'd never cut you my long gorgeous tresses.
Me: *Does an animé facefault* Well then, I think it's about time we wrapped this meeting up. Is there anything else that you'd like to say?
Gourry: Yeah, when's lunch?
Me: *Sighs and points behind Gourry* Over there.
Gourry: ALRIGHT!!! *Makes a beeline to the food*
Me: Well that's about all the time we have for today, come back soon when we interview yet another Slayer!