"Confusion"
Part 2/2
"Megan, wait!" Harry shouted as he raced after
his date. He
caught up with her just outside of the turbolift.
"Go away Harry." Megan ordered as he grabbed her
arm to keep
her from leaving.
"I'm sorry Meg. I never meant for that to happen."
Harry
pleaded.
"Right." She scoffed. "Even if you didn't, she
obviously
did. Now leave me alone!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You are so dense," Megan cried, fed up with
him, "Think
about it. I don't want to talk to you.
I asked you nicely.
Let go of me *Ensign Kim* and leave me alone."
And with
that, she yanked her arm out of Harry's grasp
and stepped
into the turbolift.
Harry stared at the closing doors, trying to grasp
the
events of the last fifteen minutes. The more
he thought
about it the more upset he got with himself and
the angrier
he got with Seven, *What had gotten into her?*
******
Seven watched as Harry ran after Megan, and saw
all her
plans falling apart. She tried to understand
the feelings
that were going through her.
She was angry.
She was angry with Megan.
She was angry with Harry.
She was angry with herself.
She was angry with Megan for interrupting her
and Harry.
She was angry with Harry for leaving.
She did not understand why she was angry with
herself. It
was not logical.
She eventually concluded that her feelings for
Harry were
irrelevant. They had done nothing but confuse
her and cause
problems. She would ignore them and everything
they meant.
She would treat Harry as if he was nothing more
than another
crewmember with whom she worked with occasionally.
This
would fix everything. If it would fix everything,
though,
why did it feel like someone had thrust a knife
deep within
her?
"Seven!" Harry called the next afternoon. He had
been trying
to catch up with her the entire day, but it was
like she was
ignoring him. "Seven, we need to talk about what
happened."
"I am busy and that would be an inefficient use
of time."
Seven said stiffly. And, with that, she left
a stunned Harry
Kim behind.
******
As Harry walked into the mess hall later that
evening to
have a little dinner, if that's what Neelix's
latest
concoction could be called. As he was waiting
in the line to
get his food he noticed Seven sitting alone in
the corner
mechanically eating the food and reading a PADD.
When the line finally ended, and Harry could get
his food
there was only one seat left in the entire Messhall.
Next to
Seven. Slowly Harry walked over and sat down.
"Is this seat
taken?" it was the most polite voice he could
summon at the
time.
"No, it is not. It would be efficient for you
to sit and
consume your nutrients." Harry felt like he had
been hit in
the heart with an arrow. Too bad it wasn't one
of Cupid's.
Seven was getting to be so friendly, so human.
Now she was
reverting when she was around him. Cold and so
very borgish.
Seven continued to eat and ignore him. "Seven,
we need to
talk."
Seven stiffly answered, "What is the subject we
*must*
converse about?"
"Well, About last night. I am sorry. Let me explain.
See me
and-" Seven cut him off before he could finish.
"I understand the scenario that elapsed in the
latter hours
of yesterday." It was so Borgish. Harry thought
he should
add that to the federation language library.
Borgish- a
language spoken by former Borg in which every
possible
grammatical rule is followed.
"I am not sure you do Seven. You must understand.
I was in
the Holodeck with Megan, we were well," Harry
paused how
could he explain it to Seven? "having a date."
"Dating, another frivolous human activity. It
only leads up
to procreation. How irrelevant." Seven was still
as stiff as
a sheet of duranium alloy.
"I don't think so, but we don't need to get into
that now.
The point is you interrupted us. And when Megan
walked into
Astrometrics and saw you standing close to me.
Well, to make
a long story short, she thought we were about
to kiss."
Pausing to allow the information to sink in,
Harry took a
sip of his drink.
"Anyway, I needed to correct the error in Megan's
understanding."
"I have finished consuming my nutrients. Lt.
Torres needs me
to assist in realigning the auxiliary sensor
array." Seven
walked away for the second time that day leaving
a stunned
Harry Kim behind.
Everyday the senior staff meets in the briefing
room.
Nothing was unusual about it. Except today. As
they were
talking about the lateral sensor array Torres
brought up the
fact that Astrometrics might be affected.
Janeway was sitting at the head of the table looking
down at
her officers.
"Mr. Kim," with that Harry's head jerked up. "You
and
Seven," Harry started. "Should check out to see
if
Astrometric's sensors were affected. If you encounter
any
problems, you and her need to work them out yourselves.
Engineering can't spare anyone right now."
Harry stared at the floor. *Great, just great
now I have to
work alone with Seven in astrometrics*.
"Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim, did you hear me?" Captain Janeway
brought
Kim out of his thoughts abruptly.
"Um, yes. Yes of course." Harry hoped he knew
what it was he
was supposed to do.
"Very well, dismissed. Oh, and Mr. Kim, start
working on
Astrometrics immediately. We can't be losing
the sensors
now."
Two hours later Harry stood outside the doors
of
Astrometrics. Inside was an aggravated Borg and
several
hours of work alone with her. *Well, no point
in prolonging
the agony.* Harry stepped up to the doors and
they parted
perfectly admitting him.
As he stepped inside, he could see the huge viewscreen
displaying Voyager's position in space. In front
of the
screen, a shadow that Harry knew to be Seven,
her back
facing him. He stepped further into the room,
allowing the
door to hiss shut behind him.
"Seven?" he called to her. Her back straightened
slightly
and her head lifted from her elegant, long neck.
"Ensign Kim." Harry involuntarily shivered when
he heard the
hardened and ice-cold tone of her voice. He gulped
and
replied.
"I'm here as ordered. What is it you need me to
do?"
She turned to him, her face a blank and emotionless
mask.
"Begin reconfiguring these systems," she said
to him as she
held out a PADD. He walked close enough to take
it from her,
then took a few steps back as he began to read.
Seven
watched him reading and noticed a few small nuances
to his
manner that most humans would have missed. The
way his eyes
unfocused as he thought and made calculations.
The way he
ran his fingers through his hair when he concentrated.
His
breathing patterns. Everything that made Harry
Kim who he
was.
When Seven realized that she could read even the
smallest
gestures - and that they made sense to her -
something
struck her. This man, Ensign Harry Kim, was relevant
to her
well being. She knew she had not been able to
work
efficiently. Perhaps it had been due to her quarrel
with
him? The thought needed more time to develop.
But time was
something she did not have at the present, as
Ensign Kim was
finished reading his PADD and started to get
to work.
Quickly, Seven hid behind her mask and began
her tasks as
well.
Two hours had passed and neither had spoken when
unnecessary. The reconfigurations were nearly
complete and
the time that Seven and Harry were to work exclusively
together had come to a close. Seven found herself
unhappy
that the time was ending. But, she also could
not bring
herself to say anything to Ensign Kim regarding
the
altercation in the Astrometrics Lab the day before.
She turned to Ensign Kim, who was practically
hidden under a
panel near the edge of the Lab. She, fortunately,
was
finished with her tasks, for she found herself
unable to
continue working efficiently. "Ensign Kim?"
She heard a grunt from under the console and realized
that
he had heard her. "I have finished my tasks.
I am going to
regenerate." Another grunt.
Seven headed out of the lab when something occurred
to her.
She stopped short and turned around. "Ensign
Kim?"
This time he poked his head out from under the
console and
looked at her.
She hesitated, then proceeded to say what she
had thought
of. "Thank you for your assistance." He flashed
a smile at
her, and with that she left.
He could still hear her melodic voice thanking
him. It
lightened his heart, and his step, as Harry headed
toward
the messhall. And with that realization, he halted
his walk.
A simple thank you from her had brightened his
whole day.
Why? Why did it matter so much that she like
and appreciate
him? Sure, he had plenty of friends on Voyager,
but with the
exception of a few, Seven's possible friendship
meant more
than any and all of them. *... More than any
or all of
them...* The thought echoed around in his head.
It was time
he made amends with the person he wanted to be
friends
with... and the one he hoped to spend the rest
of his life
with.
Her mind replayed the events of the day. His voice,
his
beautiful smile flashed in her direction, even
his breathing
patterns. She always paid attention to those
around her.
They each provided her with insight into humanity
and
individuality. But Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct
of
Unimatrix 01 paid attention to Ensign Harry Kim
the most.
She had always known that he was relevant to
her, but her
naivete on social interactions and individuality
had always
prevented her from figuring out why. She worked
with him,
that was for sure, but she knew from her earliest
days that
his importance had little to do with his efficiency.
Over and over they played, the times that she
had spent with
Ensign Kim since her first day aboard Voyager.
And from them
she learned that Ensign Kim had always tried
to be her
friend. Her understanding of friendship, however,
was
rudimentary. And with that acknowledgment, her
understanding
of friendship grew exponentially.
A friend was one who engaged others in irrelevant--no,
"chit
chat"--because they cared; a friend is one who
will always
be there, no matter what the circumstances; a
friend is one
who has similar interests and is willing to discuss
them; a
friend is someone one can trust and is trusted
by. Ensign
Kim is a friend.
The last puzzle piece fell into place, and Seven
of Nine
could understand most of Ensign Kim's behavior
immediately
after the incident in Astrometrics. *Perhaps
Ensign Kim had
not been chasing after a lover. Perhaps he had
been
attempting to mend a misunderstanding and salvage
a
friendship. If that were the case, then perhaps
he still
cares for me as well. Maybe he loves me....*
Her understanding fell back again. What is love?
Seven had
seen Lt. Torres and Ensign Paris interact. They
were lovers.
But, if that were love, Seven could not understand
it.
*Maybe that is where Ensign Kim can assist me...*
The door hissed behind him as he entered the Mess
Hall. He
surveyed the room and found her, eating with
her sister.
*Well, that's going to make things easier,* Harry
thought to
himself sarcastically. Nonetheless, he sucked
it up and made
his way over to Megan Delaney. "Excuse me, may
I talk to
you... privately?" he said as he moved his gaze
from the
back of Megan's head to Jenny's face.
Megan stiffened when she heard his voice. The
pain had
faded, but it still hurt. Her emotional mind
was telling her
to spit in his face and go back to her quarters
to mope. Her
rational mind, however, was telling her to hear
him out. She
hesitated, then nodded, pleading to her sister
with her eyes
that it was okay. Jenny got the message and,
with an evil
glare aimed at Harry, left the table.
Harry sat down and looked at the woman across
from him. She
looked slightly upset and haggard. It was a mental
slap to
Harry's morals. He had caused her pain. It hurt
him to think
that he had. He took a deep breath and began.
"Look, Megan,
I want to apologize about the other night. I
was a big jerk.
I shouldn't have treated you that way. Please,
accept my
apology."
Megan looked at him solemnly. She nodded her head,
and a
ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.
Harry sucked in his breath, but Megan stopped
him. "There's
more you want to say." It wasn't a question.
Harry looked bewildered for a moment, then lowered
his eyes
and nodded.
Megan smiled even broader at him. "Harry, I know
that I
could never be what you are looking for. Let's
face it, I'm
not a one-guy kinda girl. I should have stayed
with Tom." He
looked up at her, his eyes anguished until he
saw the huge
smile on her face. Their eyes locked and they
laughed
together, glad the tension was broken. Harry
was the first
to sober up. His smile faded.
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely positive." She took his hand in hers,
not a
romantic gesture, but one of a friend giving
strength and
assurance to another. "Go find her Harry. You
and I both
know it's her you want. You two will make a wonderful
couple. Or perhaps a collective." They shared
another
friendly laugh. This time Megan turned serious.
"Please
Harry. You need her and, though neither of you
may realize
it, she needs you. We will always be friends,
but you and
Seven will not. You will be something more precious
and
special than even friendship." She paused, seeing
the look
of sheer gratitude and happiness in his eyes.
"Now go before
I have to drag you there myself."
Harry squeezed her hand, said his thanks, and
virtually ran
out of the room. Megan looked at him, smiled
a sad smile,
and then watched her hands until her sister came
back. They
got up and left the Mess Hall, with much less
enthusiasm
than when Harry had left it a few minutes earlier.
The doors to Cargo Bay 2 swooshed open and admitted
an
elated Harry Kim. He paused, searching
the room, and then
made his way over to the alcoves that lined the
room on one
side. He could see Seven, her face almost serene,
her eyes
closed, regenerating in her alcove. He hated
to interrupt
her during her regeneration, but he felt that
he needed to
talk to her now.
Seven thought she heard a quiet sound on the outer
edges of
her thoughts. It was gone, but she heard a different
sound,
trying to be quiet, yet wanting to be heard.
The sound
stopped, but it didn't take long for Seven to
process it as
a person who had entered the cargo bay. And,
from the tread
and bearing of the footsteps, Seven guessed that
the person
was Ensign Kim. She opened her eyes and saw him
standing
there, looking a tad indecisive. Then he noticed
that her
eyes were open and a warm, contagious smile spread
across
his lips, lighting his entire face. Seven smiled
slightly
and disengaged herself from her alcove. She stepped
forward
and was mere centimeters from him.
He looked surprised by her nearness, but spoke
anyway.
"Seven, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior
earlier.
I was not a very good friend to you. I was a
bit
preoccupied."
"On the contrary, I should be apologizing to you."
Ensign Kim definitely looked surprised now. "What
for?"
"I . . . purposely interrupted your date with
Crewman
Delaney in an attempt to keep your attention."
Her
expression clouded slightly over, and her eyes
looked
inward. "I do not understand what caused me to
act in that
manner. I have been contemplating my actions.
While I have
experienced a revelation as to the meaning and
application
of friendship, I am at a loss to explain love."
Her eyes
refocused on Ensign Kim, who looked mildly shocked
and
amused. "Is it possible that you, as my friend,
could
explain love and related emotions to me?"
Harry had, throughout what she said, looked shocked.
"You
consider me a friend, Seven?"
"I do. However, I have come to realize that, while
what I
feel for you includes friendship, there are other
unexplainable emotions that are connected with
you as well."
"Seven, I'm not going to explain them to you as
a friend."
She stared at him and he could see hurt and anger
in her
eyes. "Let me finish. Seven, I too feel additional
emotions
toward you. Emotions that are more than just
friendship.
Seven, I can help you understand love. And I
will explain
love to you, but as someone who loves you."
Seven's eyes registered surprise . . . and relief.
"I cannot
say if I love you as well, Ensign Kim."
"I understand that. But you want to know what
love is. I
want to show you." With that, Harry softly touched
Seven's
cheek, rubbing his thumb along her jaw. He held
her and
kissed her, not aggressively or passionately,
but a kiss
that brushed softly against her lips and was
gone almost
instantly. The contact was brief, but the reverberations
moved all throughout her body, tingling with
warmth and joy
and something else. Her stomach tried to fall
down a
turbolift shaft, while the blood rushed in her
head, her
heart pounded and her eyes dilated.
Shortly, she recovered her senses. She looked
Ensign Kim in
the eyes. "Ensign Kim . . . " she said softly.
"Call me Harry," he answered as softly, still
holding her
chin and cheek with his hand.
"Harry, I believe I have experienced two epiphanies
in the
few seconds time that have elapsed since you
kissed me. The
first is that I now understand why you turned
down my
invitation for copulation."
Harry blushed. "Why do you think I did?"
"Because you understood my ignorance with the
emotional
implications that copulation would entail, and
because I now
understand that I would not wish to... become
involved with
just anyone."
Harry nodded and smiled at her. "What was the
second
epiphany?"
A smile brushed Seven's lips. "I believe I am
beginning to
comprehend love and attraction. Explain them
further...
please."
Harry smiled warmly on her and Seven reveled in
it. "I would
be delighted." With that, he removed his hand
from her face,
wrapped his arm around her waist, and guided
her over to a
cargo container, where the two began their discussion
of
love.
THE END
***********
Copyright by Resistance is Futile
mailing list 1998
PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK TO: resistance_is_futile-owner@onelist.com