WASHINGTON, DC (No Politics, December 20)--
The year 2000 will be known as the year that the electoral process changed forever.

In August, with a projected turn out of .3% of registered voters for this year's presidential election, outgoing president Bill Clinton and the Congress passed a new law to try to make the political process more interesting.  The four leading presidential candidates, their running mates and spouses were sent to Survivor island.  Texas Governor George W. Bush, the last one voted off of the island will be the 43rd president of the United States.

"We had to find a way to combat the ennui that has gripped the modern political process," said President Clinton at a White House press conference, "plus it's a big hoot to watch them runnin' 'round that island."  Continued Clinton, "A bipartisan committee of the Congress and I have worked together to come up with a solution that would energize the American people, and make them feel that they are part of the electoral system,  plus it reminds me of Gilligan's Island."

And energize it did, record numbers of people called the 1-900 number and paid $.95 a minute to determine the course of the Republic.  Also every night Political Survivor was on it dominated the ratings, beating out Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, Friends, and Ally McBeal.

But the new process hasn't been without criticism.  Many say that paying to vote discriminates against the poor.  Also, in Palm Beach, there have been allegations of vote tampering, critics saying that telling voters to "press 43674326739625 to vote for Gore" was confusing to many.

But whatever the results, it seems that this new mode of Democracy is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.  Said Speaker of the House Trent Lott, "The Government has signed an exclusive deal with CBS, the next 5 elections will be held on Survivor Island.  That's until 2016, after that, we have the option to continue on the Survivor format, or to change it, maybe like Big Brother."