'…words, words, words.'
- Wm. Shakespeare's Hamlet -

There are words for women like us.

You know what I mean. Women like us. Bad girls.

You can tell a lot about a people from their language. Eskimos are mistakenly believed to have hundreds of different words for snow. That's a myth, but our post-puritanical Western culture actually has an absurd number that refer to women, our sex parts, and how we choose to use them.

What's the first one you learned? How old were you? Can you remember, or were they always there, like the words for heat and cold and pain and hunger? Did you hear it on the playground, or from your mother's angry lips? Slut. Whore. Cunt. Trollop. Tart. Floozy. Hussy, Ho'. Skank. Loose. Easy. Harlot. The words that refer derogatorily to women's sexual choices all, in some way, imply loss of quality and social diminishment.

It's interesting to note that, until the turn of the century, 'slut' had more to do with a woman's hygiene and housekeeping skills than her sexual choices. In fact, in George Bernard Shaw's 'Pygmalion' (the play which was adapted into the musical 'My Fair Lady') Eliza Doolittle is called a dirty slut because she needs a bath and some clean clothes. Slut is about filth, and about not living up to the requirements that women are 'supposed' to fulfill. When you think about the ideas behind that language being applied to a woman's body, it takes on a whole new meaning.

The word 'cunt,' as Inga Moscio articulates so beautifully, is another example of language warped and bastardized to attach shame to female sexuality. 'Vagina' actually means 'a sheath,' as for a sword. It's telling that, the 'appropriate' word for female genitalia is one that signifies that their main function is to be penetrated - literally defining our woman parts by their usefulness to men.

Now, consider a few words that describe sexually unbecoming behavior in men: womanizer, philanderer, sleaze, bastard, dick, prick.

Let's see what those esteemed gentlemen, Mr. Merriam and Mr. Webster, have to say, shall we?

phi·lan·der
1 : to make love to someone with whom marriage is impossible (as because of an existing marriage) or with no intention of proposing marriage
2 : to have many love affairs
- phi·lan·der·er /-d&r-&r/ noun

Philos + Andros in Greek literally means 'lover' or 'friend of men'. It can also be interpreted as 'fond of masculine habits' or 'fond of one's husband.' The term for infidelity in men really just means 'boys will be boys.'

The words that describe promiscuity in men are all about power, and although they are used negatively to describe inappropriate behavior, they don't compromise his masculinity or social standing; they don't punish, diminish, dehumanize or demean in the same way. The word 'philanderer' describes but doesn't degrade. 'Womanizer' implies control of the woman, not the man. A 'bastard' is the child of a slut or a whore; the word refers to the unacceptable behavior of his mother.

'Pussywhipped,' a word commonly used to describe a man who is in love with a woman, implies loss of masculinity and power. The pejorative tone of the word sends the message that if a man acquiesces to his woman in any way, or seeks to make her happy, he's weak and unmanly. 'Pussywhipped' implies that any power for the woman is an imbalance, and an embarrassing reflection on the man who allows it.

'Dick' and 'prick' are also used to describe bad behavior in men. Like 'cunt', they are derogatory simply by being gender-specific. There's a big difference, though: the phallus has long been a symbol of power, where the cunt has, during that same black time, been a symbol of submission and weakness.

Anyone who believes that language can't be used to subvert is sadly mistaken. This experiment with language here is one symptom of ongoing, relentless oppression born of fear and hatred of our bodies and our sex.

Control words oppress.

So what's the solution?

Don't get angry when you think of the word 'cunt'. Take it back, use it in its rightful context, love it, read about it, and get to know yours. Look at it in the mirror.

Do object if you hear someone refer to a woman by any of these words. Don't use them yourself, either. When you use them against any individual woman, you use them against all of us, and embrace the destructive and divisive ideas they convey.

Educate yourself. Embrace our history as women and as sexual creatures. Defend your choices. Support your sisters.

Don't forget: united we stand, divided we fall.