I'd like to get something off my chest - something besides my top.

I'm hypersensitive to negative stereotypes about strippers and other sex workers. They really get on my nerves. Don't misunderstand: I know that those stereotypes aren't baseless, and that lots of strippers aren't in the business for the right reasons or running their lives the right way, and so they're not having a good time. I'm not hiding my head in the sand here.

However, as I've mentioned before, the stereotypes don't measure up to the actual statistics, and firsthand experience has given me an entirely different impression. Part of the reason my impression is different isn't necessarily because the stereotypes were never true, but because the business, like the rest of the world, is evolving.

I think that most of society got stuck in the 1940's and 50's in terms of its picture of the stripper. She's stupid, subservient, desperate for male attention. Her self-esteem is low, her lifestyle is dissipated, her morals are loose and her clothes are tight. She is at the mercy of her beholders. If she is not these things, then it's because she is something much worse: entirely mercenary about her sexuality and devoid of human decency, and the men who come to victimize the pathetic ones are instead victimized by her - the ultimate insult.

Think, though, about what it was like for all women during that time period. Think about the picture of 1950's femininity: Secretaries were hired because they were pretty, stewardesses were grounded if they put on ten pounds. Male attention and its expected outcome, marriage, were the most common and often only available means for women to make their way in the world with any security at all, and their roles in society were shaped and defined by the men in their lives. Very smart or capable women were often thought of as calculating and unfeminine, and women considered physically unattractive were thought of as nonentities ("Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses…"). Lots of the things we now assume are part of being a stripper were just part of being a woman then. It was truly a man's world.

It's not much of a shock to think that the women who chose to enter the Burlesque shows in that era didn't necessarily come from the best families or have a lot of avenues open to them. They probably didn't have a great deal of social standing at stake or a lot to lose. In that environment they didn't have much recourse when someone pinched them on the rear or did something worse, and it was much more likely that they and their bodies were being exploited by some other, unethical person. In the sexually repressed climate of that era, then, it's not a surprise that 'stripper' wasn't a very nice word.

eu*phe*mism (noun)
[Greek euphemismos, from euphemos auspicious, sounding good, from eu- + pheme speech, from phanai to speak] First appeared circa 1681
: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted

I've recently discovered I have a new pet peeve: putting things like "exotic dancer" and "sex worker" in quotes, like they're euphemisms. I ask you, what could possibly be more frankly, accurately descriptive than 'sex work?' Did you have sex? Did you pay her? OK, then. We don't say, "My friend Bob is a 'teacher.'" If we say, "This is my sister's 'friend,'" what that usually means is that they're sleeping together. When we make those stupid air quotes with our fingers, what we're implying is that the truth is the exact opposite of whatever we're saying, and that there's much more to the story than we're letting on. Oh, yes. Those quotes are just fraught with hidden meaning: "This is what they say; we know better, don't we?"

I'm so tired of being patronized in books, magazines, films, and TV shows that I can hear the slightest hint of it right away, and my hackles go up like a junkyard dog. Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, I see more of it than was actually intended. The insidious thing about unconscious discrimination is that people don't realize that there's an entire set of beliefs and ideas they have passively accepted as truth in order for their actions or statements to be appropriate.

When we say "exotic dancer" like it's just a silly term for girls who are in denial about being strippers, or "sex worker" like it's nothing more than a way for whores to avoid having to say what they do out loud, the subtext is this: 'Don't try to pretend you're normal or respectable. We've already come up with a label for you; when we say it, we mean that we don't like what you do. Don't use terms that make it sound legitimate.' Those quotation marks are more than simple punctuation; they become a barrier by which sex workers are excluded from society. To say that 'erotic entertainer' is a euphemism for 'stripper,' and 'sex worker' for 'whore,' is to imply that the latter terms, and therefore the occupations themselves, are offensive. To take the term the woman has used for herself and put it in quotes is to separate her out and discredit her view of herself and what she does, which I think degrades her much more - and is more sexist - than looking at her breasts. A prostitute is a sex worker; a stripper is an erotic entertainer. Those aren't euphemisms any more than 'African-American' is a euphemism for 'black person.'

Now, much like 'bitch' and 'queer,' words like 'whore' and 'stripper' don't mean what they used to, and are being reclaimed and used proudly as much as derisively. The profession has moved on, and the women who do it aren't the same as they used to be. There have always been bright, talented, creative strippers like Gypsy Rose Lee in the industry, but now there are more girls who have no intention of compromising anything at all, including their credibility.

With progress comes new terminology; with evolution comes new language.

A stripper is a stripper is a stripper. A whore by any other name will still have sex for money. I'll call myself anything I damn well please.

For Private Dancer Monthly