Whoredom in all its forms, I believe, is at its core feminism at its most fundamental essence: complete, undisguised, unadulterated femininity in all its glory, utilized and enjoyed without compromise for its owner's pleasure and profit and at her complete discretion.
I love my job.
Not everyone can say the same; the few who can are very lucky. As they say, we don't call it 'work' for nothing.
It sounds different to some people when I tell them that, because I'm a stripper. Lots of people familiar with the industry can see why it's true, but from those who see it from a less intimate perspective the reactions range from mild perplexity to curiosity to outright disbelief and even suspicion or pity.
I can understand that. Most of us don't grow up with a very pretty picture of the sex industry or its professionals. Since the attitudes surrounding the business are unhealthy, it's only logical that a certain percentage of the people who are attracted to it, either as workers or patrons, bring those unhealthy attitudes with them when they walk in the door.
It has long been my personal belief that most of the unpleasant aspects of the sex industry in general and stripping in particular, though they may seem inextricably intertwined to some, come from the outside and are not innate to male/female sexuality as it was meant to be experienced. Not only that, but as a feminist, I believe that the time for antagonism and enmity between the sexes is past.
I didn't always love my job as wholeheartedly as I do now; when I was young it was harder to tell what actually reflected on me personally and what was someone else's problem. As a passionate, thoughtful young person with strong beliefs and opinions it wasn't always easy for me to let things go, and so occasional inappropriate behaviour by others bothered me for a long time afterward. As most of us know, it's when we're young that the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to are most painful.
Since then I've had a long time, not only to better understand human nature, but also to examine the industry, witness its long-term effects on others, and interpret my own experience. After more than 11 years in the business, I have a very different picture than the generally accepted stereotype. I often use the word 'blessing' to describe my time as a stripper and its effects on my life and soul, much to the surprise of others.
How do I love it? Let me count the ways.
I love the women first and best, of course. How can you love stripping and not love strippers? They're earthy and open and savvy and sexy, uninhibited, boisterous and bawdy, sensuous and fleshy and fragrant. Their abundant, pulsing erotic energy pours forth from them like fruit from a Cornucopia. Every night, before my eyes in countless forms, is everything that it means to be a woman. I love the camaraderie, the stories, and the shared understanding of this wonderful thing that remains hidden to so many. Whoredom in all its forms, I believe, is at its core feminism at its most fundamental essence: complete, undisguised, unadulterated femininity in all its glory, utilized and enjoyed without compromise for its owner's pleasure and profit and at her complete discretion. This is a sisterhood with a long, colorful and beautiful history, and I am thrilled and proud to be a member. I have discovered companionship beyond compare. I find strippers as a group to be some of the best girls in the world.
I love the atmosphere of the club (though I could do without the cigarette smoke, photogenic as it is - I'm not taking a position on the legality of public smoking here, but after a while it does get a little old when you can't get away from it). It's dark and intriguing as well as friendly and comfortable, and almost any conceivable form of human interaction is possible within its walls. Conversations about any topic you can think of take place in strip joints every night; not only is it possible to satisfy the very human need for visual gratification there, but to feed your soul as well. People come for companionship as well as nudity, for feminine energy as much as tits and ass, and the women there are edified more often than they are debased. Many will rightly assert that it hasn't always been that way and that it still isn't everywhere even today, but this has been my consistent experience for just about a third of my life and I believe that it indicates what is possible for the future of the industry. It's my opinion that a large part of any experience is what we believe we deserve when we enter into it.
I love the glamour. On one level it's very mundane (after all, sex is common to all of us as a point of origin, at least), but on another level it's quite fabulous and a great deal of fun. We get to wear improbable, exciting shoes, shocking and beautiful fantasy costumes, and our own exquisite human bodies, the loveliness of which is raiment enough. We adorn ourselves with glitter, jewels, fragrant oils and exotic fabrics. Our hair is wanton; our faces shine. I believe Man is compelled to gaze between parted legs because on the most primal level we yearn for the fertile soil that lies beneath the flower: the womb. Home. There is no life without it, and only one road to travel. The most glamorous thing I can think of is to be that vessel, the altar at which Life is fervently worshipped in its most basic incarnation: the body of Woman. Some say we are being objectified, but I don't think so; I think we become a sacrament.
I love the job itself. My job is to interact with people and have fun with them, to lead them through an experience that they can't have in their everyday lives. I meet every kind of human being imaginable and talk with them about everything under the sun. I do for a living what many people look forward to doing for fun on the weekends - dressing up, going out, meeting people and having a good time. I play pool as often as I want to and I can take a break any time I feel like it. How much do you laugh when you're at work? I do it all the time.
On top of that, I'm doing something very exciting - helping people to relax and loosen their inhibitions, allowing them to feel things that many consider immoral or improper. People talk about things they don't usually discuss and experience companionship on a normally forbidden level. I am a Facilitator of Great Delight. I can think of nothing more joyous than allowing people to indulge in something wonderful that they didn't know was available, or letting them express their sexuality in all its idiosyncratic humanity without shame. Regardless of what society says about what goes on in a strip bar, the expressions I see on people's faces every night tell me a very different story.
What's not to love about my job? Anything can happen when I go to work at night. I see things that most other people never see, and revel in things that others will never understand or realize. I know things others don't; I am what others will never allow themselves to be.
They don't know what they're missing.
For Private Dancer Monthly