Alysabeth's Feminist Stripper Site - I'll Google For Ya: (or, I Google, Therefore I Am)

To Google or not to Google: that is the question.

I Google. I freely admit it. All the kids are doing it. There's a reasonably good chance that someone's already done it to you, too, maybe even as you read this - and that chance is only going to get better as time goes on. And you never felt a thing.

If you don't know what it means, you will soon. It's becoming a permanent and increasingly ubiquitous part of cyberspeak. It refers to the practice of looking people, often potential dates, up on search engines like Google.com.

Much is being said just lately on the Ethics of Google - whether you should do it, when and to whom. Is it proper to Google before you kiss? After you say 'I love you?' Before you ever go out? They say that if your ears burn someone's talking about you; maybe if your mouse finger itches you're being Googled.

Some people really don't like the idea. They feel that it's too much too soon, that it seems a little obsessive to go searching for information about someone when they haven't volunteered it to you. I suppose it can be that way - just as a simple phone call can be sinister when it's made by the wrong person or under the wrong circumstances.

Other people see Googling the way I do, as a matter of course. I Google everyone: friends, family, long-lost loves and budding ones too. Hell, I do it to myself from time to time to see how well my site is showing up on the search engines, and I expect for others to do it to me as well; I'm vaguely offended if they don't. I feel a little sorry for people when I Google them and nothing comes up. I've found long-lost friends that way more than once. In fact, I just did it again between typing this sentence and the last. I found my best friend from 8th grade. It took less than a minute. When I do it I'm looking for information the person might have volunteered: their website, for example, where I might find some witticisms or pictures and drop them an e mail, or maybe a message board where they hang out. I'm not looking for anything deeply personal or secret; I assume that, since the web is a glaringly, alarmingly accessible public place, most folks have the good sense to call themselves Prost8Man or AlmostNever on the impotence support board instead of using their real name. If you do happen to have killed a couple of hitchhikers at some point in the past, though, it's really best for me to find out before that picnic in the mountains.

I'm not of the opinion, either, that one has to be stalker material to spend quite a bit of time thinking about someone in whom they're romantically interested - especially in the breathless beginning. Is it really so bad, when counting the hours until they meet again, to Google the object of their affections? Honestly, how can one help it? I say this to you, ladies and gentlemen: a quick trip to the search engine does NOT a bunny-boiler make.

I'm guessing that people who find it scary or intrusive might still be a trifle naïve about the web and what people who spend a lot of time here do. Googling is such a prevalent practice that we've come up with a new term to describe it; that ought to say something. If it's not naïveté, perhaps they have something to hide.

It's wise, however, when Googling and otherwise gadding about the Web to keep an old saw in mind: Listen not at keyholes, lest ye be vexed. If you're going to search, be prepared for what you might find. J from Australia has this to say: "I did once do a Google search on a guy I met in a chat room... We chatted on and off for a few months and he was kinda sweet. We both said we were married, and had kids etc. It was only when he asked if I could talk to my husband about getting his company to do a job for him that I decided to do a check. First thing I found was his family tree. This led me to a family page thingy, complete with pics. This confirmed it was the same guy I had spent time chatting with. Then I found message boards that he had posted on... and sites he and the wife were members of. They were swingers. They had ads on the net to meet other couples. This explained why he wanted to meet my husband so badly… Ohh it got even better. I found other sites that he frequented. Seems he had a thing for dressing in women’s clothes. I found some really cute pictures of him in a red dress playing in a field."

Like it or not, I think it's certainly naïve to believe for a minute, with information at our fingertips and seconds away, that this is going to go away. I intend to Google until they pry the mouse from my cold, dead fingers, and I encourage you to do the same. Google something new every day. You'll be better for it.

For Private Dancer Monthly
May 2003