Project: MyAss
Joke by Alpha added on October 22, 2000
This memo is to announce
the development of a new software system. We are currently building a data center that
will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 complaint. The program is referred to as the
"Millennium Year Application Software System". (MYASS).
Next Monday at 9:00 a.m. there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone.
We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will
have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. As for the status of the implementation
of the program,
I have not addressed the networking aspects, so currently, only one person at a time can
use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after
MYASS expands.
Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this
morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find he had his nose
buried in MYASS.
I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS. Just
last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say,
"I'm a little nervous. I've never put anything into MYASS before." I volunteered
to help her through her first time and when we were through, she admitted it was
relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so
far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she
was ready to kiss MYASS.
I know there are concerns over the virus found in MYASS upon initial installation, but I
am pleased to say the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the
future, however,
protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We planned this database to encompass
all information associated with the business.
So, as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MYASS. As
MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be common place to walk by an office
and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "here, stick this in
MYASS." This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company. In a
recent audit, an employee was asked where he had secured the numbers on the report. He
proudly exclaimed, "I just pulled them out of MYASS."
For any questions, comments, or complaints please e-mail them to alpha_productions@hotmail.com