And yet, despite how much she had enjoyed this change, she missed Boston. She missed being where everybody knew her. In New York, she felt like a number. She felt like just another employee. Cage & Fish was her family, in a way. And now she had to start all over again, from scratch. Of course there was Renee, but they had grown apart. Renee was married now, and they saw eachother less and less, partly because they had less and less in common and partly because seeing Renee's happiness reminded her of her misery and loneliness.

Of course, she had Maddie. She had moved to New York for her. She would fetch the moon for her daughter! When Larry had told her that when you have a child you're surprised by your ability to love someone, Ally wasn't sure she understood. But as soon as Maddie entered her life, everything changed.

And despite how selfish it sounded, she was happy to have someone who would love her unconditionally. Her daughter. Her own flesh and blood! She needed that love. She needed to know that this time, she could have a family without fearing the man she loved leaving.

Because that's what they all did. They let her fall in love and then they disappeared. First the nude model, then the handsome doctor. Now, the most recent. Larry Paul. She had never forgotten him. Sure, weeks could go by where not a single thought of him would cross her mind. But all it took was a single thing. A Burberry scarf. An ice cream sundae. A snow man on a side walk. And she would be sent back to the land of Larry Paul nostalgia.

That name still sent shivers down her spine, and yet she forced herself back to reality whenever her mind drifted to thoughts of him. His cute glasses, his warm smile, the way he made her laugh, the way he understood her without words. She loved him despite the fact that he had left, just like the others had before.

Was love just an illusion? An adult version of Santa Claus? ... Ally had heard that in a movie she'd watched on a lonely night where Maddie was at a friend's house, and in a sad way, it made sense. Maybe. Just maybe. Love can't last forever. Maybe true love doesn't exist. Maybe love is only a plague brought on by a hormonal imbalance and sooner or later (in her case, more sooner than later), it all goes away, and it's back to normal life.

Ally who had been such a romantic for a long time had to face the facts: She was thirty two and would most probably never find love. Love for the moment, yes but. "Love forever is just a fairy tale. A fabrication of the human mind. A fantasy. Nothing worth my time really." she often told herself. No, she was happy. She had a daughter and was beginning a new job in her new home, New York. And she didn't need a man to complete her life.

But as soon as she finished that thought, an image of Larry would flash through her mind and it would be back to the habitual despair.

Despite her upper west side apartment and her Lexus. Despite the fact that she had an incredibly bright daughter who went to a nice private school, Ally still felt lonely. Richard Fish wasn't right. Money doesn't bring happiness. But Ally was unable to find success of any other kind than the financial one. And she still, more than ever, longed for that man.

4:00 am

December 17th.

I can't sleep, damn it. Despite my best efforts, I just can't fall asleep. Maddie is in the next room, and I would go and lay down next to her, but my fear of waking her up is holding me back. She's growing up so fast. Already, it's been three years since she showed up at my door. She's already 16. And she's in love. With the boy next door. Oh the irony! If only I could warn her. Warn her that love won't bring her any good. And that in the end, all she'll have is pain. I just want to protect her from the pain I've felt. But I can't do that to her. I don't want to tarnish her adolescent dream of undying love. I can't do that to her. It's not her fault if I've become so cynical. It's not her fault if I'm forced to live my life in spinsterhood.

Ally was already sitting at the kitchen table when Maddie strolled into the kitchen, glowing.

"Hey, how did your date with Yves go? I was already asleep when you came home." lied Ally.

"Not bad. You know, we went to the movies. Downtown. Then we took a cab back. The usual." Maddie poured herself a cup of coffee. At sixteen, she was already a caffeine junkie. She stared at her cup and tugged and pulled at her hair, trying to divert the questions her mother obviously had dangling at the tip of her tongue.

"Are you two serious?" asked Ally.

No reply. Maddie didn't want to banalise her encounters with Yves. After all, though he wasn't her first boyfriend, he was her first love. Her first kiss.

"Well. Yeah, I mean, we've been seeing each other for a few months now. I'm."

"You're? What." Ally asked, softly.

"I'm in love with him."

Ally had expected that for weeks now. The boy was handsome. And tall and charming. He was eighteen years old, but Ally had met him, and despite how much he resembled Larry (the smile. the eyes.right down to the glasses.), she trusted him with her daughter's life.

"Listen, mom. I was thinking about inviting him and his parents over Christmas day. You told me you'd be having a few people over, and his parents are staying in New York, and his uncle is coming over with his little cousin, and I was wondering if it'd be okay if."

"No problem, Maddie. The more the merrier!"

December 25th came along and Ally was over her head with the preparations. To put it simply, she was freaking out. Her guest were about to arrive, and the food was ready, but she hadn't had time to get dressed or to shower. Maddie was at Yves's house, but they would be coming around at 1:30. It was 12:45.

So Ally rushed to the shower and let the hot water pour on her head. Little did she know, things were about to get incredibly complicated.

Maddie was sitting with Yves in his room, and with tears in her eyes she talked to him.

"How can you do this to me? How in the name of God can you ask for an exhange to Japan and not tell me about it? I mean, that's a whole year. A lot can happen in a year. And why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I asked for it before I met you. And I just got accepted last week. But I had almost forgotten about it. But truth is, Maddie I really want to go. And I still love you. But this is my dream. And if you love me, you can wait a year."

"I don't want to wait a year. And I don't want to see you again!"

Maddie stormed out of his room and into the living room, where she was intercepted by his parents.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" asked Mrs. Denis.

"I want to go home. Please, I just. Sorry, but I don't think I can handle you coming today. I do apologize. Can one of you just come and tell my mother that you won't be joining us?"

Yves's uncle got up and motioned for the Denis to sit. He put an arm around Maddie, grabbed her coat and led her to the front porch, where he followed her home.

Ally was surprised, when she heard the door slam. First the front door. Then Maddie's room. But before she had a chance to see what was wrong, the doorbell rang.

She stumbled downstairs, her hair and makeup done, but still in her bathrobe. She opened the door and gasped.

"Larry!"

"Larry.", she gasped, her eyes wide opened.

She hadn't expected him and though time and time again she prepared herself mentally for what she would say in such a situation, she couldn't find words. So she stood there completely silent with tears in her eyes.

He on the other hand was obviously completely disoriented. New York was the last place he would have expected to see Ally. And she had a daughter? A teenage daughter? None of it made sense. He had that feeling…You know, the felling you get when you see a friend you haven't seen in a long time, and despite the nostalgia and love you are feeling at that moment, you feel like you really don't know them at that point. You love them for who they were, and not for who they are.

In a way, Ally hadn't change. She still looked the same as she did when he had left her... But her life was obviously not the same. And Larry was definetly not a part of it. And though he had known it all along, it hit him at that very moment like a ton of bricks.

Ally finally regained her senses and asked "What are you doing here, Larry?"

"Oh, uh…I'm Yves's uncle. And they just had a fight, and so I was sent to tell you that maybe it's not such a great idea that we come over."

"A fight? Well…Uh, what did they fight about?"

"Something about an exchange program…Yves's going to Japan for a year, and he hadn't told Maddie that he'd applied. She's upset and now he feels horrible about it and that is pretty much the story in a nutshell…Can I come in?" he said in one breath.

"Well, I don't think that's such a great idea…I know we need to talk Larry…I know that, we have so much to figure out. There are so many things I've been wanting to tell you. So many questions to ask. But right now I have to take care of Maddie, and of my guests who'll be arriving in a little while. So, you can come back some other time before you leave, so if you'll excuse me, I have to get dressed… watch your hand now..." And with that, Ally began to shut the door, carefully pushing Larry's fingers out of the way with her free hand, leaving Larry Paul outside in the cold, snowy day.

She then ran upstairs to Maddie's room.

"Knock knock …Can I come in?" Ally asked softly, as she heard the sobs on the other side of the door.

Maddie gave no answer and Ally pushed the door open and took a seat next to Maddie on her bed. She stroked her hair softly, until Maddie stopped crying for a few seconds.

She looked at Ally, and by the look on her mother's face, she could see that she already knew.

Maddie rested her head on Ally's shoulder.

"Why do they all have to leave, mom…"

"What do you mean, sweet-heart?" Ally asked softly.

"All the men you loved left you…And the first one I love is leaving me to go live in Japan for a year. Do they all leave?" Maddie asked, stifling her tears.

"Well, I don't know if they all leave. But I do know this: despite how much you wish right now that you'd never met Yves, and despite how afraid you are to lose him, the boy loves you. I can see it. And one year…That's not an eternity. He'll come back. His life is here. His parents and…you." Ally said.

"And what if he falls for a cute little Japanese girl when he's gone?"

"Well, I can't guarantee that it won't happen. But if it's meant to be, he'll remember you when he comes back."

Maddie was completely quiet.

"You know what you should do, while he's still here?" asked Ally.

"What?" asked Maddie.

"You should make the best of your time together. Enjoy it as much as you can. I mean, its only December. He's leaving at the end of the summer. You still have a lot of time together." Ally said.

"Yeah, that's true…" Maddie said, seemingly a little reassured.

"So come on, get dressed. The guests will be here in a little while. And Yves's uncle came by. He said that maybe it'd be best if they didn't come. So you wont see Yves today. You should just take the time to think about what you'll do." Ally said, while making her way downstairs.

"I have quite a lot of thinking to do myself…" Ally thought to herself.

***

It was December 31st and Ally still had no news from Larry. Had he gone back to Detroit already? Had he decided that he didn't want to talk to her after all? …Ally preferred not to think about it. After all, it was New Year's Eve. The holidays weren't officially over yet. Maddie was living in similar agony. Yves hadn't called. Nor had he came to talk to her. She figured that he had simply given up on her. That he was going to pull a Larry and leave without saying goodbye. It would be typical…And genetic.

Ally told Maddie about Yves's uncle being Larry and she laughed a little. The situation was a little humorous…Quite ironic, really.

But the truth was that Yves was ashamed of what he'd done. He didn't know how he could fix his mistake, and he didn't want to just forget about Maddie. Nor could he do that. He loved her.

That afternoon, there was a knock on the door. Ally and Maddie weren't expecting visitors, and Ally leaped to go answer the door.

She looked up and saw Larry standing there. Before she could put it a word, he talked.

"I know its a little short notice, and if you have plans, it's no big deal…But I was thinking of taking you to a restaurant tonight for supper. We could talk there."

"Well, I was planning on staying here and watching the ball drop on TV with Maddie. It's what we do every year…Wouldn't want to kill a tradition and…" Ally sputtered.

Maddie who was walking by shouted "She'll go!" Larry smiled, Ally nodded and he left. Ally closed the door and put her back against it. Her heart was racing. She could finally get some answers to her questions. And better yet, she would spend some time with Larry.

"I have to get ready!" she said franticly.

"Ally, it's three!" Maddie sighed.

"I know!" she said, running upstairs.

Two seconds later, Ally was running back downstairs.

"New Year…That's the one where people kiss at midnight, right?" Ally asked Maddie.

"That would be the one."

***

At 7 o'clock, Larry nervously rang Ally's doorbell. What awaited him was something he hadn't prepared himself to.

Ally was more beautiful then he remembered. Her light brown hair softly curled and her black dress made her look…simply perfect.

"Well, let's go!" Ally said, grabbing her purse and heading out the door. "Bye, Maddie!" she shouted behind her.

"Bye mom, bye Larry. Have a good time!" Maddie shouted back.

***

Two hours later, Maddie was sitting by the window, looking at the snow falling outside. The fluffy snow flakes were dancing in the cool air, but all she could think about was Yves. She wondered why he hadn't called. She tormented herself, wondering if he thought she had over reacted to his decision. After all, it's not like he was leaving forever. Just for a year. "Yeah…It won't be that bad…" she told herself.

She jumped when she hear the doorbell ringing. She ran to the door. Who could it be? She was wearing her pajamas and she wasn't too keen on anyone seeing her like this. Whoever it was, she would tell them she's not interested and send them on their way.

She opened the door and said: "I'm sorry, its New Year's Eve…I'm not interested."

She then looked at the stranger who was looking at her in awe.

There was Yves, coming to see her for the first time in 6 days. Coming to apologize, or simply to be next to her. Either one, she didn't care. All that mattered was that he was there.

"Well, if you're not interested, I can come back another time," he said jokingly with a little smirk on his face. She punched his arm and laughed. But the giggle melted, and she found herself standing dangerously close to him.

*~*To be continued...