Before she knew it, she was out of the office and on the first flight non-stop to Detroit, Michigan.

Ally found her way to Larry's apartment building and stood in front of it. She was gripping the piece of paper she wrote the address on. Coretta had been kind enough to give it to her whilst warning her things might not turn out the way she wanted them to. Ally didn't know what she expected to be honest. Deep down she wished he would swoop her up in his arms, say he loved her and wanted to be with her forever, but something told her that wasn't going to happen.

She slowly made her way into the building and decided to walk up the stairs, feeling the knot in the pit of her stomach tighten with each step. Ally found herself in front of his door, apartment 3B, and she shook her body quickly to try and relax the tension that was setting in. She couldn't believe she had finally made her way to Larry's place. She dreamed about this day a million times, only the roles were usually reversed; he was always the one coming back to her. Ally's low patience got a hold of her and she had ended up taking the initiative herself.

Ally watched in slow motion as her knuckles rapped across Larry's door, the sound echoing down the hallway. Her head swished to her left and right, as if she was waiting for a bunch of heads to poke out of the doors on either side of her. Paranoia sure was a killer. She looked back in front of her and felt her heartbeat quicken. There was now just a door separating her and the man she loved. This door slowly opened and she caught a glimpse of a sight for sore eyes.

Larry was lying on his bed in his room staring blankly at the television with the remote in his hand. Unfortunately, his mind wasn't on the tube. The movie itself was a memory of a night him and Ally had spent together. Hell, everything reminded him of her, it should have come to him as no surprise, but clearly it didn't because he found himself numb, like he usually got whenever something different hit him, namely something that had to do with Ally.

Larry heard a knock on the door to his apartment and he immediately snapped out of his daze. He rolled himself off the bed and ambled into the living room of his one bedroom apartment. He pulled open the door and was greeted with the face that had haunted his thoughts for the past few months.

It took me by surprise
When I saw you standin' there
Close enough to touch
Breathin' the same air

Larry could feel the electricity radiating from Ally's body. He looked at her eyes and could tell right away what she was thinking; nothing had changed. The feelings were the same; she was still vulnerable.

Ally mentally smacked herself and took a breath. "Hi," she got out, breathlessly.

"Hey," Larry responded, voice short, sound tiny.

"How are you?"

"Fine," Larry said without thinking, his brain going on autopilot for a minute.

You asked me how I'd been
I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine
Oh, but baby I was lyin'

Larry knew damn well he wasn't fine. Ally was standing right in front of him and he was speechless, completely and utterly speechless.

What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried

Larry imagined he'd have a million things to say to her when he saw her again, but he couldn't speak. His whole body was numb and his eyes were glazed over by a thin layer of tears.

Ally looked at him and forgot why she was there. The letter she had written was tucked away in her bag, but she couldn't, for the life of her, remember she had it.

"So, what's going on?" Larry finally got out.

Ally looked him dead in the face. "I've totally forgotten."

Larry was confused, but played along. "Okay then," he didn't know what to say.

And baby here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
And that's what I really meant to say

"I'm gonna go," Ally panicked and turned away from him, rushing down the hall. Larry stepped out into the hallway and watched her rush down the hallway frantically.

And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt

Larry couldn't believe he didn't stop her. He was making a liar out of himself and this time he wasn't even trying to impress anyone. He was making a fraud out of himself and his feelings. He was denying himself of what he had wanted to do for the longest time. His eyes felt heavy and when Ally turned the corner, he looked down at his feet.

I held back the tears
Held on to my pride and watched you go
I wonder if you'll ever know

What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
And that's what I really meant to say

Larry was beating himself up inside and then pushed himself down the hall as he broke out in a run. He hauled ass to the elevators and pressed the buttons frantically. They weren't moving fast enough for him so he yanked open the door to the stairs and bounded down them.

What I really meant to say
Is I'm really not that strong
No matter how I try
I'm still holdin' on

He had to tell her, he had to tell her everything he had said to her in those letters he wrote her. He reached the final floor and burst through the door to the stairs. He saw Ally opening the door to leave the apartment building.

"Ally!" he called out, breathing heavy.

She turned around and her eyes got hopeful. "Yeah?"

Larry felt himself get weak again and his resolve went up once more. "It's late, why don't you stay the night. You can take my bed."

Ally's face fell, "Okay," she bowed her head down and slowly followed Larry who made his way to the elevator this time.

Larry couldn't believe what he was doing. Sure Ally was staying the night, but if he couldn't tell her now, then how would he ever be able to tell her. The opportunity was there, and he still passed it up.

And here's the honest truth
I'm still in love with you
And, that's what I really meant to say

He was still in love with her and he couldn't say it. He just couldn't say it.

That's what I really meant to say

Ally was tossing and turning in bed that night; her visions were awful. She dreamt that her and Larry were fighting about all the unspoken things, unspoken feelings, etc. He ended up walking out on her and that's when she bolted up from her pillow, a cold sweat breaking across her forehead. She was breathing heavy and realized her throat was exceedingly dry. She pushed the heavy bunch of blankets and comforters off of her and ventured into the bathroom. She found a glass she suspected she would, as she remembered how much Larry's throat got dry when he slept. She smiled at the thought and filled the glass with water. She took a sip but the water didn't clench her thirst. She had orange juice in mind and came out of the room in hopes of finding some. She walked towards the kitchen quietly, hoping not to wake up Larry who was sound asleep on the couch. She got to the refrigerator and opened it up to find a carton of Tropicana. She grabbed another glass that was sitting on the counter on a towel next to other clean dishes; she had assumed they were clean anyway.

As she sipped her juice, her gaze fell upon Larry. It felt so weird to be at his place and not be curled up in his arms. It felt so weird to not be lying in bed next to him. She did have to admit though...it was nice sleeping in his bed. His scent, despite the bad dream, was therapeutic. She finished her juice and placed the glass in the sink.

As she turned to go back into Larry's room, she saw him stirring. He was mumbling in his sleep, but she couldn't make out the words. It sounded like he might have said `don't go,' but she couldn't be sure. Ally walked slowly over towards him and just adored his features. He sighed heavily in his sleep and flipped over so his face was directed against the back of the couch.

Ally shook her head and turned away to walk back into the room. In the dark, she smacked a toe into a desk that she didn't see and she yelped in pain. Immediately she clamped her mouth shut and looked over towards Larry's figure. He was still sleeping soundly and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Ally looked at the object she hit and noticed it was a desk that usually closed with a latch, but was open for some reason. Ally peeked at the desk's contents and found a stack of envelopes. Her curiosity got the better of her and she pulled the top one out. She looked at it and noticed it had her name and address on it. Intrigued, she opened the unsealed envelope and began to read the letter.

Ally:

I thought you'd be out of my mind

Here I am again, writing you a letter I know I will never have the nerve to send, or the guts rather. I find myself thinking about you just as much everyday as ever. It's just something that ceases to relinquish. You would think that after all of this time, I would be fine, and I would be able to forget about you, but for some reason, I can't. I can't bring myself to forget, forget your touch, your love, your face.

Ally gasped and dropped the letter. He was heartbroken, it was so apparent. Ally slowly reached for the letter and began reading it again. When she finished it, she had fresh tears in her eyes and was shaking through and through. All that was on her mind was that he was going to propose to her. He was right on one thing though; her dream of the most perfect proposal would have come true. She knew she would have said yes and that's what made it hurt even more. If only he had asked...

Larry woke up early that morning, about eight, and stretched out his body. All of his bones felt constricted and he rubbed his neck slightly to work a small kink that had formed over the night. He slept more soundly than he had expected.

He stood up and walked towards his room. He glanced around at his surroundings and while doing so, noticed that his desk was open. "Shit!" he said out loud, rushing over and shoving the door shut, silently praying Ally hadn't seen that, but then assuring himself that Ally was in his room sleeping the whole night. "I would have heard her, it's okay," Larry assured himself out loud.

Larry reached the door to his room and just as he was going to slowly open the door, it was opened from the inside. He fell slightly forward in his search for the doorknob, but caught himself on the doorframe and pulled back up.

His eyes caught Ally's and she looked away, yawning. "Morning," she mumbled through her yawn.

"Morning," Larry said softly. Ally pulled the door open more and Larry walked past her, brushing her elbow faintly on his way to the bathroom. Ally's eyes jolted open as she felt the penetration of his skin on hers, however soft, it still sent chills up and down her spine.

Ally pulled the door shut behind her as she padded out into the main room of the apartment and made herself some coffee. She had to search for the coffee grains, but eventually came out successful. She settled herself at the table with her coffee while she waited for Larry to come out of the bathroom.

She gazed at her surroundings and her eyes eventually befell across the desk she had run into the night before. She noticed it had now been closed. She immediately wondered if Larry had seen her read the letters he wrote to her...the secret letters he wrote her constantly...the ones he never had the guts to send.

"No, he couldn't possibly have," she assured herself out loud, taking a sip of her coffee.

Five minutes later, Larry came out of his room in a robe and slippers, funny looking ones that made Ally laugh out loud, and walked towards the coffee pot.

"Hey," Larry pointed a finger at Ally. "My feet are cold, lay off the slippers," a smile sprang to his face. He couldn't help it; as much as he felt like not laughing, he just-couldn't-help it.

They drank coffee in silence for about five minutes while sitting at the kitchen table and Ally decided she couldn't take the silence anymore. "Thanks for letting me stay Larry," her voice was soft, but audible.

"Anytime. Why stay at a hotel when you can have a more comfortable worn-in bed," he joked lightly.

Ally laughed slightly and then looked at him more seriously. "Do you regret anything?" she inquired, suddenly becoming serious.

Larry's expression did a complete 180 and he studied her serious expression. "Regret anything as far as...what exactly?"

"Us," Ally got to the point. "Do you regret anything about us?"

Larry looked down at his coffee cup and then made a decision, looking back up at her. "No."

"No?" Ally was confused. "But I thought..." she faded off, reminding herself that he didn't have to know what she saw.

"What?" Larry was confused now more than ever.

Ally looked up and him and laughed nervously. "Oh nothing, nothing, I didn't think anything, I don't know what I think, it's nothing," she laughed some more and then stood up.

"No Ally, tell me, what's going on?" Larry didn't like being toyed with. "Tell me why you're here Ally."

Ally shuffled her feet, "I told you I don't remember."

"Ally, I don't believe you," Larry had now stood up. "Tell me why you're here."

"Tell me why you lied to me Larry," Ally shot back without thinking.

"What?" Larry took a step back.

"Why did you lie about regretting nothing?"

"I didn't..." Larry didn't like where this was going.

"You said that if you could turn back time, you would change the fact of us ending."

Larry gulped; she read the letters. "Where did you hear that?" Larry accused, trying to salvage himself.

"You wrote it Larry, you wrote it in a letter to me, in fact in many of them," she gestured towards the desk.

"Why did you go through my private things?" Larry raised his voice.

Ally pulled back some, "I came to get juice, it was laying out, I couldn't help myself...besides! It WAS addressed to me!"

"Ally, those are private!" Larry's voice was peaking.

"They're addressed to me! How come I never got them Larry? How come your manly man self couldn't at least send me an explanation why? You know if I had never read those letters, I would never know why you did the things you did. I would never know why you screwed up the way you did," Ally was speaking fast and in rhythm.

"Ally if they were meant for you see, I would have sent them out! My desk is my private space!" Larry was incredibly defensive at this point. His secret was out and he was feeling vulnerable beyond all belief. He went onto autopilot again and before he could stop himself, he was saying things he didn't mean. "You can never keep your nose in your own business and things can you? How could I have fallen for someone who is so damn nosy?"

Fresh tears stung Ally's eyes and she couldn't help it when they started falling. "You can't mean that," she whispered quietly. Larry just glared at Ally and she nodded. "Okay Larry, if that's the way you want it," she walked into the bedroom and closed the door quietly. She came out five minutes later dressed and had her hair up in a butterfly clip. She walked towards the door and opened it but turned around to face him before leaving. "Oh yeah, I remembered why I came here," Larry looked at her with wild eyes, anticipating an answer. Ally didn't feel like saying anything else, figuring he would find out eventually anyway and she left, pulling the door shut behind her.

Larry was going crazy by now. He had no idea what she was talking about and went into his room to shower...for some reason he felt dirty. Larry pushed open his door and took his robe off, throwing it on the bed. He went into the shower and emerged twenty minutes later feeling refreshed, but guilty nonetheless. He had indeed lied to Ally and he did indeed say the worst possible thing he could say.

Larry got dressed and then picked up his robe to hang up in the closet. He noticed that under it was an envelope with a post-it note attached. Curious, he picked up and recognized the handwriting immediately.

And just think what might have been...

Larry felt like a bomb had exploded in his chest as he felt every vein in his heart burst. Larry opened the sealed envelope and started to read.

Larry:

I wish I could say that I'm over you, but I can't. Every other thought on my mind is you. Your name dances on my memory relentlessly. As much as I wish I could stop I can't...you're all I think of...Larry Paul. You were my knight in shining armor, you were the sunshine in my rainy days, and you were the clown who chased away my sorrow.

The day you left, I thought I would die. Now I know everyone says that when the person they love leaves, but I mean this. I mean it with all that I am. I find it hard to deal with the fact that I have to live on and you aren't by my side. I find it hard to watch movies with happy couples and I find it even harder to watch them in real life. Half the time I just want to beat them all over the head and yell how it won't last because the bastard will leave with a note. Some would call me psychotic, but I just call myself hopeless.

Larry felt his heart skip a beat. This was awful. Everything he continued to read broke his heart a little more and just when he thought it couldn't break anymore, he realized how she felt and what she would redo if she could by the end of her letter...

Oh, the rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
Oh the thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting in the end
I'd go there again cause it was beautiful
So beautiful
It was beautiful

Ally

It truly was beautiful and he knew it. Before Larry knew it, he was out the door and hailing down a taxi to take him to the airport.

As the taxi moved at a snail's pace towards the airport, Larry's thoughts were floating over the past twelve hours. He had chickened out more than once and was beginning to wonder if this time would be any different. He had always been afraid of being alone, but even when he was with her, in his apartment, that morning, the night before, he felt alone...more alone than he had ever felt.

Calling out, calling out
Haven't you wondered
Why I'm always alone
When you're in my dreams

She felt so far away.

Calling out, calling out
Haven't you wondered
Why you're finding it hard-
just looking at me

Larry figured out that there was a reason he couldn't bring himself to confess his feelings.

I want you
But I want you to understand
I leave you
I love you

Larry couldn't help himself leaving that time. He knew that if he could take it back he would, but then again, maybe it was best that there wasn't such a thing as time machines.

Didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression
Didn't want to leave you with my last confession
Of love
Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and make a connection
Of love

Just like he had said in his letters, the last thing he
wanted was for Ally to be unhappy. He felt that he would make her
unhappy; well we can't stand that happening. She's obviously unhappy now...

Ally sat in the terminal next to her gate tapping her ticket on her bag, which was sitting in her lap. The morning's events were replaying themselves in her mind like a nightmare. The awful things he said, the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, they wouldn't go away.

Falling out, falling out
Haven't you wondered
If this was ever more than a crazy idea
Falling out, falling out
Haven't you wondered
What we could've been, if you'd only let me in

Ally knew she had to give Larry that letter for closure, she only wished it didn't have to be closure. She only wished it could have been a new beginning. She only wished he would have dropped his defenses, God knows those shields he has are thick skinned.

I want you
But I want you to understand
I miss you
I love you

As much as Ally wanted him to be the one to make every single one of her dreams come true, she couldn't help but wonder if she was wasting her time. Was he really the one to put all of her faith into?

Didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression
Didn't want to leave you with my last confession
Of love
Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and make a connection
Of love

Larry shoved open the cab door and hopped out, slamming the door behind him. His body swiftly made its way through the terminals and metal detectors as he searched for the gate leaving for Boston. He wasn't pressed for time, but something made him move quickly. He felt like she was finally slipping through his hands this time and he just couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let her go again. The presence, the presence did it for him. He needed her around all the time.

I need you
I love you

Larry found Ally sitting down next to her gate, looking at the people walking. He followed her gaze to this one couple that were sitting in the terminal across from her, hands held, eyes closed. The young girl's head was rested on the guy's shoulder and his head was leaning on top of hers.

Larry's heart skipped a beat again, as he instantly recognized that position. It was the one described in the most recent letter he wrote Ally. He looked back at Ally who had bent her head down and was shaking slightly. He immediately felt guilty and walked over towards her. She looked up and he found himself turning around suddenly, feeling unready to face up to what he had been building towards.

"Dammit I can do this," he cursed to himself as he turned around again to face Ally's direction. He slowly made his way over there, mentally prepping himself the whole way.

When I reached the front of her, he spoke fairly loud. "I miss you."

Ally looked up at him stunned. "What are you doing here Larry?"

Larry took a breath and forced himself to continue. "I lied."

"I know," Ally wasn't amused.

"I do regret walking away, I do regret being a coward."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ally's facial expression was still vexed.

"You deserve to hear it from me, word for word. Listen Ally," Larry stopped, half-expecting to be interrupted by Ally. She just looked up at him and he took that as his cue to continue. "I didn't want you to have to suffer. I didn't want to leave you with little to be desired. You always deserved more than that in my eyes."

Ally stood up and glared at Larry. "When are you gonna stop telling me what I want and don't want?"

Larry was about to object when Ally grabbed his face and pulled him towards her in a kiss.

Larry felt his whole body crumble and he almost fell down. Ally pulled away when she heard her gate number called for boarding. "I have to go," she reached down to grab her bag and turned around.

"Wait!" Larry yelped out, still a little numb from the kiss he had just gotten from her.

Didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression
Didn't want to leave you with my last confession
Of love
Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and make a connection
Of love

Ally turned around innocently. "What?"

Larry walked towards her. "So, is that, it? Is that what you're going to leave it at?"

Ally looked up into his eyes. "That's the plan. Look Larry," Ally set her bag down. "I don't need the yo-yo game you're fond of playing. I did what I came here to do and now I'm going home."

"What about the things you said in that letter you wrote me?" he answered breathlessly.

"Oh yeah, that. Well, it's kind of hard to compete with weakness, so it's best I just move on and be grateful that you've helped me. I found myself, and it's all thanks to you. Thank you Larry." Ally turned around again and made her way towards the line that had accumulated at the gate.

Larry stood there for a moment and then moved towards Ally and the line.

"But I love you Ally, I love you so much, you can't go."

Ally looked over at Larry and smiled. "Aww, that's sweet Larry, but I really am going home."

"Well," Larry was frantic. "Don't you love me too?"

"I've played this game with you before Larry. It's not about love; it's about faith. It's about whether you'll stick around or not. What's different about this time from the last? Probably not a damn thing. Honestly Larry, let's just love each other and be done with it."

Didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression
Didn't want to leave you with my last confession
Of love

Larry wasn't satisfied; she was still leaving. "No," he firmly responded. "That's not good enough for me. I love you and I don't want you to leave. Stay with me. Please, stay with me."

Ally's heart started thumping harder; it had gone beyond words now, he was asking her to stay...something she had been hoping for the entire time.

Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and make a connection
Of love

"Larry, how do I know this isn't going to end like it did before...where you get cold feet and can't even stick around to see what it could possibly be like? While your unpredictability can be fun, it can be hell and I don't think I could deal with that again," Ally whipped around to face him.

Larry clamped his eyes into hers. "We've gotten this far," he lowered his voice considerably.

Ally matched her voice with his. "And how far is that?"

Larry cocked his head to make it look like he was thinking. "Well let's see, I'm standing in front of you, I've given you my heart on a silver platter complete with a knife and fork to do what you please with it, and I've proclaimed my love for you." His hope wasn't gone yet. "Is there anything I can say to make you stay? Anything?" he pleaded with her.

"Hmm..." Ally pretended to ponder.

"Come here," Larry said huskily, pulling her into his embrace, causing her to drop her bag beside her.

Ally's hands made their way up to the sides of his face as their eyes gazed into one another. In one quick move, Larry leaned in to capture Ally's lips with his.

I need you
I love you

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