She couldn’t understand why those girls on Sex and the City could get so much action when she couldn’t even enjoy a single slow dance. She needed a dance, one slow dance where she could just rely on her partner to hold her up, she could just surrender to him for that one song and not have any worries. At night, after Maddie had fallen asleep, she would imagine that she was dancing… and Larry was the man she always imagined she was dancing with. No matter how many times she tried to convince herself that she was over him, she knew in her heart that she never would be. She didn’t want to dance with anyone but Larry. But things change and she had to move on, for her sake and her daughter’s. Speaking of Maddie, she had to be back at their apartment to get Maddie ready for camp. Maddie was going away with her friends for a 2 week sleep away camp in upstate New York. She was off from work for two weeks and she would be alone, the one greatest fears of her life.

She got home and Maddie was already packed. She really was an amazing kid. “You’re sure you have everything right? Your toothbrush, the whistle I gave you just in case you get in trouble… ah.. what else? Oh you have all my numbers right, just in case of an emergency?”

“Ally, don’t get all hysterical on me now. I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will. I’m just gonna really miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too mom, even though you’ll probably call every hour on the hour.”

“Will not.”

“Will too.”

”You’re right, I probably will, but I’ll limit it to every other hour. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good. Love ya Mom, and have some fun with your time off, go to Boston, and see your friends.

“I think I’m going to, love ya Maddie and be careful.”

Later that night, after Ally had driven Maddie to the school for the camp bus, she decided she would relax and make plans for her trip back to Boston. As she was pouring a glass of wine for herself, the phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Ally, hey, it’s Coretta.”

“Correta, hey, I was just going to call you guys, I’m off for a couple weeks and I was planning on coming back to see everyone.”

“Ally, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“Ally it’s about Larry.”

“Larry? What about Larry?”

“He’s been in a terrible car accident and he’s in a coma.”

There was silence, Ally’s heart dropped, she had already lost him too many times, she couldn’t be loosing him forever.

“God this can’t be happening... Correta, how did you find out?”

“Well ever since he left last year, he’s kept in touch with me, basically to see how you were doing all the time.”

“Oh god, Correta what should I do? What should I do? One part of me thinks that maybe he wouldn’t want me there and the other part…”

“What does your heart say?”

“Go to him, be with him, help him through this.”

“Then go with your heart, Ally, because you of all people know, that you have to follow your heart.”

“You’re right, I’m going. I’ll keep you posted. Correta?”

“Yah”

“Thank you for calling me.”

She didn’t have time to pack, she didn’t even have time to think, and it was like she was on auto pilot. She went to the airport and got the next flight out to Detroit. On the plane she sat there in shock. She didn’t know what to think, to feel, all she knew was that she needed to get to the hospital and see him. She took a taxi to the hospital and she ran into the lobby.

“I need to see Larry. Larry Paul. P-A-U-L. Paul, Larry Paul. Please, hurry.”

“Excuse me mam, you’ll have to wait a second and slow down.”

“I can’t, this is how I talk, in run-on sentences, ask Larry he knows. Please I need to see him.”

“Mam, he’s in critical condition, only immediate family can see him. Are you immediate family?”

Lie Ally, tell them you’re his sister or something.

“No I’m not, but…”

“It’s Ok, she can come with me,” a woman said from behind her. Ally turned around.

“Jaime. How is he? Please tell me he’s gonna be alright. Please…”

“I’m glad you came. If anyone could help him you can.”

“Are you sure? Because if you think him hearing me will only hurt him, then I’ll stay away, but I just need to see him.”

“Ally I’ll take you to him.”

They walked to the elevator and then to the ICU, and then Larry’s room. The door was slightly open, she couldn’t really see anything from standing outside.

“Ally Sam’s in there with him now, I’m just going to go to the cafeteria and get some coffee. Would you like some?”

“Hmm..?”

“Coffee. Would you like some?”

“Oh sorry, no thanks. I’m fine.”

Jaime walked away and Ally walked closer to the door to Larry’s room. She couldn’t quite bring herself to go in, so she stayed at the opening of the door. She heard Sam’s voice, he was talking with his father.

“Dad you gotta wake up. You have to. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Dad. I just… well I should have never come to Boston and cried and complained about you not being with me and ah… all that stuff. I knew you would come back with me, because…well I just knew. You’ve stayed here for me and I’m so sorry for that. Every night I see you lay in your bed and you take out a picture of her and I see tears. Dad I know I said that it was time for you to cry, but… not like this. I have her picture here Dad and well… when you get up, we’re gonna go see her. You and me we’re gonna go see her, and everything’s gonna be ok. So you have to wake up Dad for me… and for her. Alright… well I’m gonna go find mom, and um…I’m so sorry... I’ll ah…I’ll just leave the picture right here.”

Sam got up from the chair beside Larry’s bed and placed the picture on the night stand, and then just stood there starring at his father. Ally didn’t think, all she knew was emotion was filling her and she just needed to hug Sam. She walked to him and said his name, he turned around and there were tears in his eyes. No words were spoken, they didn’t need to be. Ally bent down and took Sam in her arms and they just held on to each other. Finally, they broke apart and Sam nodded in understanding and then left the room and shut the door behind him.

Ally watched him leave and then turned to face Larry. He was pale white, and he had a small scar across his chin. His eyes were shut and he was motionless. Ally on the other hand looked down at her own hand and saw that it was shaking. She grabbed hold of the chair and sat down, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to stand under her own power any longer. She looked at the night stand and saw the picture, it was her. She looked back at him and felt such helplessness. She didn’t know what to say, she felt so many different emotions and…she just didn’t know what to say. Tears rolled down her cheek and still she sat there silent. She reached out and touched his hand very lightly and then pulled her hand back. She just couldn’t do this, she just couldn’t. She got up, her legs barely holding her up and she made her way to the door. Sam was outside sitting with Jaime.

“Ally did you talk to him?”

“I ah…well…no, I just can’t Sam. I can’t. I don’t …I don’t know what to say.”

“I know. Ally there’s something I want to give you. When my Dad first came back to Detroit he wrote this letter and ever since he seems to keep adding to it and changing it. The other day I asked him if he wanted me to mail it and he said no, that he’d do it eventually when he got the courage. Ally the letter, it’s written for you. I got it from his desk and I thought you should have it.” He handed the letter to her. Ally looked at the envelope, finally reached out and took it from Sam, nodded and left the hospital.

She went to the nearest hotel and got a room for that night. She brought the one suitcase she had with her up to her room and placed the envelope with the letter on the bed. She got changed into the one pair of pajamas that she had brought with her. She finally got into bed, holding the envelope in her hand. He was always writing her notes, and when he did, they were always to say goodbye. She didn’t want this to be a goodbye letter. God she couldn’t take that right now. But she had to know, she had to read this letter, she had to. She opened the envelope and took out the letter and read.

Dear Ally,

I’ve always been good with witty lines, but I’ve just never been good with saying what I feel. When it comes to the emotional stuff I’ve always froze. But when I met you, I realized that it was so easy to tell you the way I felt about you, and in that I was always truthful. I loved you Ally, and I still love you. Every day that I’ve been without you I try and put you out of my mind, I try to forget, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to function, to be the father to Sam that I need to be. But every night, my thoughts become filled with you. Every night I’ve gone to bed with you in my mind and you in my heart. Fate has taken us this far, and it has allowed us to meet and fall in love. I believe that one day fate will bring us back together. I have to believe, I have to have hope. Hope has been something that has been the major part of both of our lives. We thrive with hope, we need it to survive. I hope that one day I can look in your eyes and we can dance, because Ally I really need to dance with you. No, not the Chubby Checker twist, though I want to do that again with you too, but a slow dance. A dance, where I can hold you and you could put all those fears that you have to the side and just let me hold you and move together. God I love how you move. Until then…

                                                                                                                                    Love always,
                                                                                                                                    Larry

Ally put the letter down, oh she’d read it again, but later when she could see out of her tear filled eyes. She laid back on her pillow and fell asleep with Larry in her mind and Larry in her heart.

She walked into ICU without a problem this time and saw Sam.

“Ally, I have to tell you…”

“Sam I really need to talk to your Dad right now.”

“But Ally…”

“Later Sam…later.”

She walked by him and into Larry’s room. He was laying there and he looked better, not great, but much better. It seemed like there was more life in him today. She walked over to him and sat down.

“Larry…hey…I ..ah.. I was here yesterday…and I had no idea what to say. Sam gave me something yesterday and it was the letter that you had written to me. I wish you had ah... sent that to me…I’m not sure what I would have done, but I wish that I had seen that. You know…well I guess you do, from talking to Correta, but I’ll tell you anyway, I have a daughter now… Maddie. Larry she’s great, she’s …she’s incredible, just like Sam. You once told me that until you have a child you have know idea the capacity you have to love someone, and you were right. I had no idea and now I do, I get it. And I get why you had to leave…I hated you for it and am I still angry about it? Yah I am…because Larry I know we could have worked it out together, you and me. I loved you Larry, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, more than I loved Billy…maybe I didn’t make it clear enough or say it enough…in a way I’m also grateful for this time I’ve had by myself because I’ve become a better person…I’ve become a mom. And I have hope, I’ve always thought that that was the only thing I had going. And I know you’re gonna come out of this a coma and ah… you’re going to be alright, I need you to be alright. I need you…….to ah.”

“Do you always talk in run on sentences?” Larry said. His eyes still closed.

“Ally I tried to tell you,” Sam said running into the room. “Dad woke up from the coma right after you left last night. He’s gonna be alright.”

Ally turned and looked at Larry, he had that famous smirk on his face and that twinkle in his eyes.

“You’ve been awake this …this whole time. During my whole speech?”

“Yep.”

Ally hit him on the arm.

“Hey! I’m in critical condition here.” He started to laugh.

“Oh I hate you,” she said while joining in his and Sam’s laughter. Sam slipped out of the room smiling.

“I know, you just told me that in the midst of one of your long run-on sentences.”

“So you’re gonna be alright?”

“I am now.”

“That’s good, that’s good.”

“Do you have to go back?”

“Well ah, I should I guess, I’m off from work for another week and Maddie is away at camp, and I was planning on going to Boston for my time off so I really should probably be going.”

“Ally could you do a sick man a favor and just stay a few days, at least until I get out of here.”

“Well…”

“Please.”

“A few days, yah, I’ll stay a few days.”

Ally, Jaime, Larry and the Doctor were in his room three days later.

“Listen, Doc, I can’t stay here anymore, I’m alright, I really need to get out of here. These two can attest I’m not one to stand still for long.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t release you unless I know that you’ll have 24 hour care, someone will have to be with you all the time.”

“Well see Doc, that’s a problem. I’ll be alright, I’ll find a way to do everything that I need. I can always get somebody to help if I really need it.”

“Sorry, but I just can’t release you unless you have a definite source of aid with you at all times. Just the way it is.”

“I can do it,” Ally said from the corner. She knew Larry couldn’t stay here any longer or he’d go crazy, she knew that under the same circumstances she’d go crazy herself. Was she crazy though for thinking that she could stay with Larry 24 hours and take care of him? Oh god what was she thinking.

“Ally are you sure? I mean, I’ll stay here if I have to, I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Larry, I’m sure, you’ll never be a burden.”

“Alright then Mr. Paul, I can release you later this afternoon then. And I want you to get a lot of bed rest and only get up once in a while to get a little movement in and circulation going. Got it?”

“Yep Doc, I got it.”

Ally and Larry took a taxi from the hospital to his apartment.

“Ally… thank you for coming here, and for staying, it means a lot, thanks.”

“It’s no problem really.” They sat in silence for the rest of the ride, each occasionally taking quick glances over at the other one. Ally realized that he was beginning to look like the old Larry again, his color was coming back and that little scar was actually turning out to look dashing. God she wanted him.

Larry saw that she kept looking at him, and trying to hide the fact that she was. He on the other hand didn’t mind if she knew he was looking at her. She was gorgeous, and there was something about her now that was even more appealing then he’d remember. She was the only one in the world that could make his heart beat a little faster. God he wanted her.

“Well we’re here, I’d ah.. walk around and open your door but under the circumstances I’d better not.”

“Mr. Paul, always the gentlemen. I think I’ll forgive you this time.” She walked around the cab and opened his door. “ I hope you have an elevator in this apartment, because don’t think I’m going to carry you up any stairs.”

“What, not even over the threshold? What kind of gentleman are you Ms. McBeal?... Don’t worry there’s an elevator.”

“Good.”

They got in the elevator and went up to his floor. He had to lean on her for support because he still didn’t have all his strength back yet.

“I always knew I could lean on you.”

“Yah well buddy you better be careful because right now I’m all ya got.”

“Ms. McBeal, you’re all I need.”

“If that was the case we’d probably both be back in Boston right now.” There was a long pause. She couldn’t believe she’d said that. He was hurt for godsake.

She was right and he felt terrible. Here she was helping him after he’d been an idiot and hurt her by leaving.

She opened the door to his apartment and was pleasantly surprised. It was actually a really nice place. She walked in with him and brought him to the couch so he could sit down.

“Ally, I’m sorry… I thought that my leaving you was the right thing to do. It was foolish, like everything else I’ve done in my life. I’ve always felt like a failure, especially with my son, and then I met you. And I never felt that way with you…until right before I left. I was going to ask you to marry me, that night, with the peach cobbler, do you remember that?”

That’s why he acted strange that night she thought. She knew something was wrong and she figured it was that he didn’t want to be with her. She nodded in response to his question.

“And everything just went wrong that night, kind of like my life. Everything that I did went wrong, and I didn’t want that to happen with you. I didn’t want to marry you and then end up hurting you. I figured leaving the way I did would make you angry with me and therefore make it easier for you to move on. I just assumed too many things I guess. Because I know that marrying you would have been the best thing to ever happen in my life.”

“Yah, it would have. It would have been the best thing to ever happen in both of our lives. Now…I’m here to take care of you so what do you need?”

You, he thought, just you. Instead he said:

“Well, a bath would be nice, I usually don’t take baths, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stand for too long in the shower so…unless you want to take a shower with me and you can hold me up?” Then one of his famous smirks appeared.

“Tempting, but no, I’ll run your bath water.”

He stood in front of the mirror, looking at his face and the new scar that he had on his chin. Ally walked in the door of the bathroom and he watched her in the mirror.

“You think this makes me look handsome and daring?”

“No… I think the word that first came to me was dashing, it makes you look dashing.”

“Dashing? Hmm… is dashing a good thing?”

“It’s a good thing. Do you…ah...need any help here?” God, please don’t let him need any help, I won’t be able to take it.

“Yah a little, with my arm I can’t get these buttons.” She hesitated, but she didn’t want to make it seem like this was more than it actually was. She started to unbutton his shirt at the top and continued to work her way down. She pulled his shirt tails out of his pants and then brushed the palm of her hand against his chest. She look up at him and he was looking down at her.

“I missed that.”

“Missed what?”

“I miss touching you like that.” He took her hand and brought it up to his face, and laid it on the scar.

“You heal me Ally, you make me whole. I need you and I hope to god that you need me too.”

“I need you… I need you more than you can imagine.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Forgetting what?”

“There’s still one more button.”

“What are you talking about, all the buttons on your shirt are unbuttoned.”

“Not my shirt…”

“Where… oh…”

They both started to laugh.

“Just kidding, we’re going to take things real slow, because we’re gonna get there so we should just enjoy the ride. A real wise woman said that to me once."

“Oh did she…well did you enjoy the ride?”

“Very much… and this time I was hoping it would last a little while longer.”

“How much longer?”

“I was thinking…forever.”

“Do rides last that long?”

“Oh yah, the best ones always do…there may be some bumps along the way…”

“Who’s going to be the driver?”

“Well, considering I just got in a car accident I figure you better start and then we’ll both take turns along the way. Dance with me?”

“Right here? In the bathroom? You probably shouldn’t be dancing.”

“I can manage. I know you can hear the music in your head already, so just surrender and dance with me and then when we’re through dancing, marry me.” Ally smiled.

“I thought you just said that we we’re taking things slow.”

“That was a line. And I thought it worked fairly well… We’ve been waiting for too long for fate to let things happen. Fate brought us together and brought you here, and now it’s time for us to make our own fate. Please marry me. I won’t dance until you say yes.”

“Well in that case… Yes… I love you Larry.”

“God I love you so much. Let’s dance.”

“Slow?”

“Yah, we could do the twist later, when I’m feeling better.”