Being heartbroken again in September was not something I had put money on last year. Not after I had met Larry. The first time I stepped into Tracey's...his...office, I knew that my life was going to change forever. I never expected the enormous effects that he would have. I should have known that an end was going to come someday though...it was too good too last. I'm too alone to be loved.

I never feel alone when I'm by myself. When I'm with someone though, this feeling of insecurity always creeps up on me. Is there something wrong with me? Was Billy right in saying that love is wasted on me? Love *can't* be wasted on me.

Maybe I have to let myself realize that Larry wasn't the one. I have this nagging feeling that I made a mistake though, and it's going to haunt me the day I'm 60 and still alone. [God, whatever you do, don't let me die that way...] When am I going to find that man that will turn my world upside down and make me learn to appreciate everything in life? I think I let him go....he was the one.

But uhh...getting off of that subject..well, not really....I saw him the other day...well, not him him...but you know when he was coming back, how I kept seeing him everywhere? Well, I was in court, doing a cross, and there he was sitting in the stand. I almost had a heart attack.

He seemed different in a way. He didn't even look completely like himself, it's hard to explain. It wasn't the disappearance of the glasses..though lord knows he looks tons sexier in them...but he was just sadder. Larry, even when we were ending things...me being along, he feeling that he would fail me, he always was much more alive. I'm afraid...really afraid. It didn't scare me after I got after the transformation. There was this connection. However, just like Larry wasn't himself, the connection wasn't the same either. Something is going to happen, and I don't know what...

-----

"First up! Boring stuff as usual for you Mark and Nelle. Yadda Yadda... okay I move on. John you on the Davenport's case.... yadda...yadda.. and finally... ALLY!"

Ally raised her head with surprise. Richard had this unusual joyful tone that made her think that something was going on.

"What?" she asked, suspicious.

"Too bad I don't have a drum I could roll it or maybe I should put out a red carpet ...hmm..good idea!"

"What are you talking about?" John asked with a touch of impatience.

Richard paused, wanting to create some moment of suspense. All the lawyers leaned over, intrigued by his behavior. Richard Fish wasn't the kind to stop talking. Usually, the words came out like diarrhea.

"Ally..." he said calmly. "You're going to be on the biggest case of your whole career."

Ally sighed. She wasn't feeling like working on any big case. Somehow, she felt fragile since Larry was gone. She wasn't ready for a big challenge.

"Okay... what is it?"

"Spill it Richard!" Ling let out, staring at her nails.

Richard smiled widely. In his eyes they could see the sign of money but also some kind of rare excitment.

"Big... Big... Big client Ally. An Hollywood client... " he continued, pronouncing slowly. "Read my lips Robert...Downey...Jr."

All the lawyers at the table gasped.

"Oh my God!" Nelle exclaimed.

"Oh..huh..." Ally giggled.

"Pokip.... Pokip.."

"Is this a joke?" Mark asked.

"Robert Downey Jr the actor?" Ling asked showing some interest for the first time in her life.

"Oh... that loser?" Jackson said.

"Oh..." Ally said, giggling again. "W...W...Why me? huh... I mean...huh... wow!"

The tone raised in a confuse chaos. Ally felt pierced by imaginary bullets shot by her co-workers. They were all jealous of her. "Why did you chose Ally?" "I want to co-chair!" "No! I want to co-chair!" "Ally never worked on a drug case before I did." "Why her?"

John had to scream to make them all shut up.Richard threw the client's file in front of Ally. She stared at it, still confused by the news. The file must had about two hundred pages. It was thick.

"Let's see Robert Downey Jr." Richard began with his usual fast talking tone. "Arrested many times for drugs possession, being in the influence, violating parole. Arrested again and again and again... and oh... here... again... He's lost."

Ally opened the file shyly and looked at the first page. She knew the actor a little. She had seen Chaplin a few years ago and thought that he was pretty good. Her eyes went to his picture and she got a weird feeling. She just couldn't tell but was there a resemblance with...

"That's funny" Nelle said. "I think that Robert Downey Jr looks a little like Larry."

Ally's heart missed a beat.

"No.. he doesn't." she objected a little too quickly.

"Yeah... that's possible." Ling said, coming closer to Ally and taking a look at the picture. "I don't know... maybe the eyes..."

"No. He doesn't look like Larry."

She closed the file, feeling troubled. Maybe she was just imagining things. Maybe she was too much into Larry, that she was clinging to his memory. But what about the others? John, Mark and Jackson were now looking at the picture, discussing ressemblances. "His nose? Maybe!" "No It's his eyes." "I think he looks like him." "Me too."

"Stop it! Stop it!" Ally cried out loud.

They all froze. They could hear some hysterical scream coming from out of the conference room. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"I guess that your famous client just arrived." Richard said.

"W...What? Huh... N...Now?" Ally stammered, feeling her legs weakening.

-----

[Ally]

What would you know? I'm defending Robert Downey Jr. Out of all the types of law cases celebrities are involved with, I'd have to get the one as possibly close to murder.

I try not to associate murderers with drug addicts, but it still makes me squemish. I know I should judge, but still....did you hear that the guy he was with was with the Russian Mafia?

Seriously though, how many chances has this guy been given? I'm all for rehab instead of jail, but I don't want him walking home free. I know I'm his lawyer, but I do have some have to have some form of ethics, right? Richard seems to think it's always about winning...well I want to be right sometimes.

-----

She felt that people were pushing her outside and she wasn't prepared for it. It's not everyday that you get the chance to represent a star. At first, she saw Elaine all over him. She was hugging him and screaming wildly in his ears. He gently pushed her away and turned his head. They were all staring at him. Robert eyes went quickly to all the lawyers but stopped at Ally.

"Gosh... he looks like Larry... what is it? what is it? His eyes? His nose? His.. smile?" Well, the suit didn't help her. Gray pinstripes...just the exact suit Larry had been wearing the last time she saw him....agghhh!

"Cali..?" he began, looking confused.

"Huh... my name is.. is Ally... Ally McBeal." she stammered, stepping forward and presenting her hand.

"Oh sorry... You just remind me of someone I know... It's weird." He shook her hand, slowly and kept it in his a moment, still staring at her, his eyes examing her closely.

"Robert Downey Jr." he said, presenting himself.

"I... I know." she giggled, taking her hand back as it was burned.

She looked at the parole officer and felt dizzy. "Oh my... A parole officer... It smells like jail... murder... mafia... I'm not feeling well..."

"Are you okay?" Robert asked, looking concerned.

Ally gasped and held on to John who was just passing ahead. It just sounded like Larry. Larry always asked her if she was okay... even if she was. Now she wasn't.

"That's... That's..." she tried to say and finished in her mind: "scary."

"So...?" he said. "Are we going to discuss here or you've got an office?"

"Oh sorry... I've got an office.... right." she forced a smile, feeling completely stupid. "Over here."

She led him to her office, feeling all eyes staring at them. His parole officer waited outside next to the door. Ally and Robert entered the door at the same time bumping their shoulders together. She stepped back, letting out a gasp of terror.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his hand on her shoulder.

She waved her hands nervously, making sure that she would be out of his reach. She asked him to enter with a sign of the hand and he did as told. On the way to her desk, she thought that she was just acting stupid. She had never been that nervous in her whole life.

"Come on!" she told herself. "He's an actor... okay... He's a druggie involved with the russian mafia... okay.... He looks a little like Larry... not okay."

She cleared her throat and grabbed a pen to take a professional look. When she raised her eyes and looked and him, she saw that he was staring at her again. He was making her uncomfortable.

"Huh... Mr Downey. I have to tell you that I just got your case. What I know about it is... huh... basically what I read in the National Enquire." He noded, not really surprised or insulted by her reply. She, on her side couldn't believe that she had said the most unprofessional thing of all.

"I just have to catch up on your file." she added, swallowing. "But before, I have some questions to ask you."

"Allright." he said, searching into his pocket.

He took a pack of cigarettes out and leaning his head on the side and lit one. "Yuck" she thought.

"Is going to kill you someday... you know..." she said, dropping her pen.

"Believe me there's worse." he replied, smiling through the smoke.

This wasn't working. "Druggies are stubborn." she thought. She had to try something else. She coughed, watching his reaction. He was sceptic. She had the idea that he could tell that it was just bad acting from her part.

"If it my cigarette bothers you..." he said. "Why don't you ask me to put it out?"

"Right..." she said, troubled. "Then put it out."

"Fine," he countered, "You don't have an ashtray."

"Just forget it," Ally muttered, shuffling through the case file Richard gave, "So I..you're pleaded not guilty to your first umm..drug bust?"

Robert nodded, "Yes. Except I wouldn't exactly call them busts."

"And ok, what exactly are you going to plead for this second thing.." Ally tapped her pencil nervously against her desk.

"I thought you could advise me on what's best," Robert titled his head, watching her in amusement.

"Okay, umm...well...you did fail the p-pee test, so I wo-wou-would.." Ally trailed off as she noticed Robert watching her.

"Are you afraid of me, Miss McBeal?" he asked.

"I uhh.."

"Have you ever had drugs?" his curiousity was peaking.

"I'm not interested, thank you." Ally miffed, insulted that he would assume she was a crackhead or something.

"Ever smoked pot in college?"

Ally eyes opened wide in shock, "That is none of your business."

"Oh come on! Do you know how it feels like to take drugs?"

"I don't have a clue and I don't want to know and know if you're searching for a druggie lawyer you're not at the right place because my only addiction is chocolate. So thank you very much." She slammed the case file shut, this close to telling Richard to find another person to handle the case.

"You're a funny person. A little weird though..." Robert smiled. He liked her, she could hold her own.

"I don't think I like you," Ally frowned, narrowing her eyes at the movie star.

"Oh, well, that's too bad, because I think I like you," Robert replied.

"Hmmm..and I so live for your approval," Ally smiled sarcastically, "Anyway, as I was saying before you interuppted me, you failed your urine exam on the second one, having passed previous exams...I think I'd say a guilty plea with exchange for six months of rehab is a pretty good deal, don't you think?"

Robert thought for a second, "If you say so."

"Well then, until tommorow," Ally stood up, extending her hand. Robert followed suit, and as they shook hands, Ally felt a jolt of electricity go through her. She tried to push it off.

"Can I have my hand back?" Robert joked, Ally was still gripping his hand almost a minute after the initial handshake.

"Oh, right..sorry," Ally let go of his hand and watched him leave. She gulped and sat back down in her chair.

-----

"Ally, calm down," Renee said as Ally sputtered, "It's just another case."

"But it's, it's a crimin-Robert Downey Jr.," Ally frowned.

"Is that the cute one from the lawyer show?"

Ally put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows in frustration, "Yes, the cute one..I don't know, lawyer shows depress me..just, don't even say he looks like Larry. The entire firm thinks he does. "

"Well..." Renee trailed off as Ally threw her hans up in ther air, "In a way...with the glasses..."

"Larry wouldn't wear white shoes," Ally shot back.

"Ally," Renee sighed, "It's a case. Just be professional. And think if you win, you might beat out Nelle on being partner. "

"I don't care about being partner," Ally said, "it's about ethics."

"Are you sure you aren't afraid that he does look like Larry and it will just tempts you?"

"Reene!" Ally's mouth dropped, "First, I am over Larry. S-su-second, he's a client."

"Just making sure..." Renee picked up her pack of pencils, "they're here if you need them."

"Very funny," Ally said, grabbing her coat, "I'm just going to leave now.

And, and, and..you're going give me those pencils," Ally snatched the pencils from Reene and placed them between her roomates teeth.

-----

[Robert]

I don't even know how I ended up in Boston. Through some feat of god, the commonwealth of California decided that I wouldn't get a fair trail in their wonderful state. How Massachussets was picked, I don't know. Then my lawyers decided to quit on me, so I was sent in search of new ones.

My lawyer, I don't know what exactly to make of her. She seems rather jumpy, almost as if she was afraid of me. She kept giving me these odd looks.

She asked the usual lawyer questions, but I don't know what the hell happened. I was getting my life in order, had a great job, and then I needed her again. The Lady came a calling, and I answered the door. You don't know how much I regret it. But I can't stop it. The urge was too strong, and the next thing I knew the camera was in my face and my mug shot was being taken.

They say I've got lots going for me, but somedays I wonder. I've lost Deborah, Indio, Calista, Liam, my friends..family...job... It tears me apart to have let so many people down, but they don't understand. They don't understand that whenever I feel alone, I can't go into a corner and cry...I need her. She beckons me, and if I'm in the right place, she'll come and get me.

I saw Cali on Leno. She did that dance of hers that always brought a smile to my face even when it wasn't directed to me. I've talked to her once, but I couldn't bring myself to call her anymore. I let her down...I let everyone down. I was stupid, and I want to make it right. I can't change what I did before, but I sure as hell want to make it work for the future. Sometimes though, I wonder what kind of a future I have. Am I going to die? I sure as hell don't want to die. I have to stay clean, for myself, for my son, for my friends, for my family, for fans, and even hell, my lawyer, just to make her life easier.

-----

Ally flung open the door of her room, stumbling as she put on her heels. Renee was eating cereal, her eyes glued to the television. Ally said good morning before sticking her head in the fridge.

"In other news, Robert Downey Jr. heads to court today after his trail was moved across country-"

Ally looked up, banging her head on the door. Closing the fridge, she shoved a bagel in the toaster, paying close attention to the news report. The chirpy reporter finished her news brief by saying that they would have images from court in their evening show. Ally groaned.

The phone rang, and Renee answered, "Hello. Yeah. Ok, she's right here."

Renee held the phone out and mouthed, "Larry Paul."

Ally's hands shook as she reached for the phone. Her heart was racing, she couldn't believe he had called. Putting the phone up to her ear, she turned away from Renee.

"La-Larry?" she breathed, wanting to babble about how she missed him and that she was sorry.

"What?"

"It's been so long!" Ally continued.

"Am I talking to Ally McBeal?" He was confused. Very confused.

"Oh..huh...sorry...It's me," Ally giggled, realizing her mistake. Only one person said her name that way.

"Ms McBeal... It's Robert Downey Jr. Remember me? That terrible monster who smoked in your office and tried to have a serious conversation about drugs with you?"

"How could I forget," Ally replied, turning back towards Renee and giving her an annoyed look.

She mouthed who it was, and Renee smiled apologetically. Ally again turned her back, and Renee tiptoed off to her room.

"Well, I was calling-" the phone line clicked. Ally held the phone out looked at it perplexed.

"Hello?" they both said at the same time. Ally narrowed her eyes and marched towards Renee's room. Throwing open the door, she told her roomate to get off of the phone.

"Sorry," Ally said, "What were you saying?"

"That's alright," Robert chuckled, "I was calling to ask if I should meet you at your office or at the courthouse?"

"Oh..I hadn't quite thought...my office. Yes that'd probably be better, " Ally nodded, even though he wasn't going to see her.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit then," he said, as his voice was cut off by a reminder that he had one minute left on his calling card.

"Ok," Ally replied, taking a bite of her bagel.

"Until then," Robert echoed the end of their previous conversation. Ally hung up the phone and turned off the TV. It was then when she began to hear it.

"I know somethin' about love, you've gotta want it bad," her theme song began to play.

"Aghh!" Ally shook her head, "No, no, no, no! Get out! Get out!"

Renee walked out of her room and looked at her roomate in concern, "Ally?"

Ally stopped shaking her head and looked up. Brushing her hair from her face, she muttered, "I'm going to work."

-----

Ally entered the conference room, head down. All went silent as she sat on her chair. She tried a look at the other lawyers, playing nervously with the file she was holding. She wondered if something was wrong with her hair because all pairs of eyes were on her, some curious, the others furious.

"Okay breathe!" she told herself. "This is a normal day." She cleared her throat waiting for Richard to begin his morning speech but he was standing there also looking at her.

"So..." Ling began, speaking for all the crew. "How are things with Larry Downey Jr?"

"F...Funny!" Ally stuttered, holding a gasp "He... he doesn't look like Larry... not a bit!"

"Right... and I'm sweet..." Ling mumbled, rolling her eyes.

Richard pointed Ling, forcing a laugh. She groawled at him and got her eyes back to Ally like her last intention was to waist her glance at him. They heard a knock on the door and saw Elaine appear, parading proudly forward to the table. Ally felt a pinching in her head, when she took a look at Elaine's stretched t-shirt. That morning was starting with an headache, bad thing.

"How do I look?" Elaine asked.

Nelle held back a laugh and John's nose whistled. "Robert Downey Jr is too hot for jail!" was writing on her chest. She turned around and they read. "Rehab is sexy!" Ally banged her head on the table, feeling like she was about to throw up her morning bagel.

"Thank you Elaine for being supportive." she snapped. "Maybe I should bring you in court with us today."

A squeal came out of Elaine's mouth. She didn't get the sarcasm and started to babble that she was a fan of his since the eighties. Ally's mind flew else were. She was feeling some pressure on her shoulders. Robert Downey Jr wasn't some regular client. For some fans he was some kind of monument. "Aaargh... If I blew it... they're all gonna to kill me... the russian Mafia and the hysterical fans. I'm already dead!"

"Okay..." Richard began, cutting Elaine off. "First up..."

Ally listened distracly and then got off of her thoughts when Richard mentionned her client's name a few minutes after.

"I just received more info on Downey's psychological evaluation." he said. "The envelope is on your desk. New info. Hot topic."

Elaine moaned and almost fainted on the door.

"Elaine!" Ally shout out, before her secretary would run to get the enveloppe. "Don't you..."

She shook her head, her teeth bitting one finger and sang:

"Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky you..."

"Get out Elaine!" All shouted.

-----

Ally was in her office, trying to concentrate on her clien't case. In her hand she had his evaluation. There was this line that her eyes kept staring at:

"It's like I've got a shotgun in my mouth, with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gun metal."

Swallowing with difficulty, Ally was feeling like there was a hand choking her neck. "That guy is a freak!" She just couldn't read between the lines and relate his quote with his drug abuse.

"What if he carries a gun in his pocket? What if he decides to kill me if I say that I'm off the case?" She was staring into space, completely paranoid when the door opened.

"Ally." Elaine said with a joyous tone. "Robert Downey Jr is here."

"AAAAHHH!" she screamed, getting back on earth. "Let... let him in."

She noticed Elaine's red cheeks as she was guiding him to her office. Uncomfortable, he entered the secretary covering him with warm eyes.

"Robert...Downey...Jr..." Elaine repeated with a giggle.

She stood there, leaning on the frame, staring at him from head to toe. Ally raised up, like all professional should do and offered her hand to him.

"Mr Downey." she said, mentally convincing herself that she had to hide her terror.

"Mrs McBeal." he said, slidding his hand into hers and shaking softly.

Again, she felt the same electricity from that touch. She took her hand out with a gasp. "Okay. That's it! I'm never shaking his hand again." she thought, stepping back. She heard Elaine moan next to them when a smile formed on his lips. Ally found herself responding by a blush. "Right! He did the same smile in "Only You" that's fake!"

"Are... are you... are you ready for the hearing?"

"Are you?" he asked back, amused by her nervousness.

"Yes." she objected.

"Are you always agitated before going to court?"

She flashed him an annoyed look meaning: "You do you think I am? I'm a professional!" but inside her thoughts were different: "I'm only agitated when I'm defending movie stars who have strange resemblance with an ex-boyfriend but it gets worse when it brings ethical issues to the surface."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Don't you say that again!" she gasped, ignoring the astounded look on his face.

She led him outside of her office, Elaine sniffing him from behind. She grabbed his arm and made him turn around.

"Hey Robert." she said, unctuous. "Before you go can you sign me an autograph?"

"Sure" She slid a pen to his hand and raised her t-shirt up exposing her bra in front of everyone.

"ELAINE!" Ally snapped.

"Woah." Robert let out, stepping backwards. "Are.. are you serious? You want me to sign on your bra?"

"Actually it's a vibra. I invented it." Elaine said proudly. "Want me to show you how it works?"

"No thank you." he responded, uncomfortable. "How about a traditional autograph? Do you have a paper?"

-----

[Ally]

I signed on to be his lawyer, not to be the object of media attention. There are too many cameras, too many reporters asking me questions. I'm nervous enough as it is, I think I'm going to be sick.

No, Mr. Downey is not taking questions. He will not answer questions. How many times am I going to say this today.

I- I shouldn't have taken this. I shouldn't have taken this. Please let me not throw up on his shoes. Please let me get out this alive.

Ugh..it's that blonde reporter from the newscast this morning. Why is she looking at Robert like he's a piece of meat?

I'm not going to come out of this the same.

-----

"All rise," the baliff announched as Judge Walsh entered the courtroom. Ally smoothed her skirt and Robert crossed his hands, his gaze intent on the judge's stand.

The judge instructed them to sit, and Ally looked over towards the DA. She didn't know her other than the phone call they had the day before because she was from California, but she seemed intent.

"Are you prepared to enter a plea?" the judge asked. Robert and Ally rose.

"Yes, your honor," Robert replied.

"What's your plea?" Robert paused for a second as a hush came over the courtroom, "Guilty, your honor."

A murmur ran through the crowd as everyone took in what he was saying. Judge Walsh peered at Robert and looked over at the DA, "What are the terms of this plea?"

The DA stood up, "We are asking for six months to be served in a lock-down rehabilitation facility, some of which he has already served already, with further counseling and rehabilitiation along with a year of probation along with mandatory drug tests during this period."

"Mr. Downey, have you talked with your lawyer, and do you understand the terms and consequences for breaking them?"

Robert looked over at Ally, who nodded, "Yes your honor, I do."

Walsh nodded, "Alright. We'll meet back here a week from today to begin jury selection on the counts from the defendants November arrest. Court is adjourned."

Ally let out a deep breath as the judge walked out of the room. Robert seemed unfazed, and he turned to Ally, "Now, that wasn't so bad, right?" "Heh.." Ally felt faint. She stuffed her materials into her briefcase. "I have a week to prepare for the biggest case in my life," she said, mostly to herself.

Robert nodded, and grabbed his coat, "I'll try to make it easy on you."

Ally scoffed slightly, "If you say so."

-----

[Robert]

I wonder if she knows how much I really don't want to be here? What I would give to have said no to my father all those years ago? It's not easy for me to have my troubles be put out for public display.

It's not easy...

I think I'll be nice and treat her too lunch.

-----

"What would you like?" Robert said flipping through the menu for the deli. It was a quaint place he had discovered that appealed to him. It still had the old-fashioned bar stools, and a jukebox played the music instead of the radio. He was proud of his find.

Ally glanced over the top of her own menu, at Robert's parole officer, who was stationed like a body guard a few feet away, "Hmm..let's see...I uhh..the chicken salad."

"Okay," Robert closed his menu and handed it back to the waitress, "a chicken salad for her..what do you want to drink?"

"Diet coke," Ally told the waitress.

"And I'll have a hogie with Italian dressing and a Dr. Pepper," Robert said. The waitress walked away, and Ally looked out the window.

"Thank you for lunch, Mr. Downey," Ally tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and squinted him.

"Please call me Robert," he said as the waitress brought their drinks over.

"No I don't want to. Your my client. I just want to keep it that way," Ally took a sip of her drink.

"Wait! Are you saying that if we start to call each other by our first names we'll be sort of intimate?"

"Exactly," Ally nodded.

"You really are scared of me!" Robert teased.

"No!"

"We won't get horny if you call me Robert..." he winked, laughing slightly.

"What the hell...."

"And if I call you... Ally," he continued. Ally's heart began to beat faster and faster. Her cheeks were turning a slight pink, and she was unconsiously chattering her teeth. Robert took notice, and decided to prod her a little more.

"You want me to say it again?" he kidded, a slight smirk on his face.

"No!" Ally ducked her head and began to suck harder on her straw.

"Ally..." he said softly, leaning his head down so he whispered it in her ear.

Ally looked up, her face almost the shade of a tomato, "You're making fun of me!"

"Is it killing you that I'm calling you Ally?" Robert asked, feeling a bit bad about embaressing her.

"Almost," Ally thought before speaking, "Okay I'll call you by your first name. But let's get back to the case because I'm... huh... Well... How can we prove to the court that this time you won't mess up again? I'm sorry but I'm skeptic about it."

Robert leaned backwards. His voice dropped, a vulnerabilty showing through, "I really want to quit drugs."

"Right... How can I tell that you're not acting? Maybe you're just fooling us. You're looking sad and maybe you just want to be free to get that little nose of yours deep into white snow... Oh sorry... no wait I'm not sorry... the truth is... I don't believe you," Ally began to unwrap her silverware from his napkin. He looked at her bewildered, and grabbed her silverware.

He fidgeted, almost as if he were trying to figure out the right thing to say. The thing was, he knew what is it was he wanted to say, he just didn't know how to say it. He was about to begin, but the waitress came over with their food.

Ally's fork was a millimeter from her mouth when he started talking. There was an unusual quiver in his voice, and he was talking so soft, she had to lean in to hear.

"Ever lost everything important to you, Ally?" he asked, putting the dressing on his sandwich.

Ally shook her head sadly. She could think she knew, having lost Larry. But she really hadn't, at least not to the extent he must have.

"My son...sometimes I think he's too small to understand, but then he looks at me...he's so bright...I wonder how bad it I'm messing him up," Robert coughed, "I won't be surprised if he grows up to hate me."

"He won't," Ally said reassuringly, "You're his dad."

"It's not that easy," he muttered. He looked out the window, a far off look in his eyes. Smiling slightly, he turned back to Ally, "Well, then there's Calista. Calista..."

Ally looked down, feeling like she was intruding on something private.

"She's so...she's so everything," he sighed, "Bright, witty, she's got more talent in one little finger than I'll ever have. And she's so goddamn beautiful. When she smiles, it just lights up the whole room," he sniffled, "but...you know, she can only take so much. People can only take so much..."

"Did you...do you think that you two could work it out?"

Robert shrugged, "I'd like to think so. I love her so much...that it just hurts sometimes. But she doesn't deserve what I can give her right now."

"Robert," Ally said, "if you really love her than it will happen someday."

"There, you said it," he grinned, "Now, was calling me Robert so bad?"

Ally knew that he was just diverting his attention from the actual issue at hand. "Just like Larry," she thought.

"Okay, I'll say it again," she licked her lips, "Ro-bert...Ro-bert.." It was the same rythm as Larry. Two syllables. Ro-bert. La-rry. "Lar-ry, " she muttered under her breath.

"Who's Larry?" Robert took a bit of his hoagie.

"W..What?" Ally sputtered, "How did you- Where did you?"

"This morning when I called at your place you said Larry it's been so long. You thought that I was Larry. And now you just said his name again. Who is he?"

"Are you always this intrusive?" Ally asked.

"Is Larry the reason you're uncomfortable with me? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not flirting with you. I don't want to know if you're available... I'm just curious." He took another bite of his sandwhich.

"Larry is... He's my ex... You... You sound a little like him and look a li...little him." Ally turned away, slightly embaressed.

"Oh... That's why you're always jumping when I'm approaching you," Robert nodded, it was starting to make sense. He smiled at her, reassuring that he didn't find it odd.

"That isn't the only reason but since you're smiling to me and don't look too terrifying, I'll save the russian mafia terror for some other time," Ally thought and smiled back.

"Can I tell you something?" Robert felt slightly embaressed for even thinking it.

"What?" Ally dug her fork back into her salad.

Robert leaned forward, "It's odd. You too look like my... ex..."

"It's...scary." Ally took a bite of her chicken.

"I know... It's a strange coincidence. You're not exactly like her but there's something... I don't know what it is... And I remind you of your ex... What should we do about it?" His expression was serious. Ally fidgeted. Little did she know how prophetic his words would be.

"No... nothing!" she spat while thinking, "Like we have to actualise anything you pervert!"

Robert smiled, but seemed concerned, "Do you miss him?"

Ally nodded, her lip trembling slightly, "Terribly."

Robert took her hand to try to comfort her. Ally looked back from his hand on hers to his face. And then back to his hand. That's when she lost it.

"AHHHHHHHHH! Don't touch me!"

-----

(Ally)

I must be demented! That case is just obsessing me too much. Is it just the case of my client? I don't know.. I don't want to know! Please God help me! I'm turning insane! I just woke up from that crazy dream that left me painting.

I was walking in a long dark corridor. I just couldn't see anything through the darkness. It was like I was waiting, anticipating something. I could feel it. I could feel my whole body wanting it... waiting him. I had a fluffy nightgown on. I don't remember even wearing one like it, but dreams aren't always related to reality. No they can't be related in that case.... No!

So, I was walking and then stopped when a whiff of wind set its way though my hair. I felt a finger slowly running down on my nape, making me shiver. I just stood there feeling the finger going lower and lower. Then strong hands capturing my fists from behind.

"Larry...."

I was pulled behind a little roughly but didn't resist.Why was it still dark? I just couldn't see anything. I could just feel his breath on my cheek.

"I'm not Larry. You know who I am." the man whispered in my ear.

I knew. I just couldn't fight. I stood there without saying a world. The only sound that came to my ears was my own breathing. My senses seemed increased beneath that single finger moving up on my arm.

"Now." he said, directing me. "I'll just let your hands free. You won't protest. You won't scream."

He let my hands go.

"I'm scared."

"That it because I haven't touched you...yet." he said, his lips on my naked shoulder.

"What about the russian mafia? They will kill me." I protested, feeling his hands lowering the straps of my nightgown.

"They will kill me first."

Soon, the nightgown was on the floor. Slowly, I saw it fall into a hole. I thought that I must have jumped into that hole to catch it but there was this finger caressing me, drawing circles on my stomach. How could a finger be so tempting? I could feel my whole body curving against him as his tongue was softly licking my ear.

"What about the gun?"

Brusquely, he made me turn around to face him. Some candles lit at the instant. I stared at him, breathless. I could see his face but couldn't let go of his eyes... his burning eyes.

"It won't hurt you." he whispered, his finger making it's way between my legs.

Then that was it. I tore off his shirt in pieces and we fell on the floor. It was me on him, controling him. He just couldn't move. I wanted to possess him. I wanted him to possess me. I woke up, soaking wet, half way though the dream with the feeling that it ended to short.

Now, an hour later, I just can't get those images out of my head... but I have to, otherwise I won't be able to defend his case. The only idea I would have in mind would be to continue this dream...

-----

"Okay... Larry has been gone for to long. I miss him... it's the only explanation." Ally was thinking walking around her desk like it was the only destination. "Stop it! It was just a dream... a stupid dream... It's better if you think about Larry. But no! Larry is gone... gone...gone... He'll never come back but Robert is here... but it's bad... he's bad... I'm bad... Robert is my client, yes he looks like Larry but he isn't Larry... he's a criminal... he's a bad... a bad boy... oh! Hmmm...."

"AaaaaaahhhH!"

"Sor...ry!" Robert was standing there, the door of her office wide opened. She wondered how long he had been there looking at her with amusement. She brought a hand to her mouth, stepping back.

"Why is it that everytime I come to your office I've got the feeling that we're shooting a terrifying movie." he said closing the door behind him and then imitating her. "AaaaaahhhH!" She rushed next to him and opened the door with full force which made his smile widened. "Bad idea." she thought. "Now he's smiling."

"Something's wrong?" he asked. "Is it the Larry thing again?"

"Huh...oh..huh...no" she hesitated. "I'm alright... really."

He closed the door again, leaning on it and flashing her a half smile probably meaning: "You see... there is nothing to be scared off."

"Where's your... your... pa... parole officer?" she asked, swallowing with difficulty."

"Oh he just dropped me here. He said that it's okay to be alone with you... since your my lawyer."

"Oh... Aaahh!"

She brought a hand to her neck, stroking with her own saliva. "This case is going to kill me... if he doesn't kill me first. But... he's not really dangerous... he isn't..."

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked with concern.

She shook her head, moving her hands nervously. She had this image flashing in her mind and the thought about his finger caressing her. "That was just a dream" she told herself.

"The... the finger." she mumbled. "and the... gun."

Robert's eyes widened.

"The gun? Gee... which gun are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"Just let me open that... that door..." she begged him, reaching for the handle.

Elaine was standing there, a dreamy smile on her lips. She waved at Robert. Ally noticed her shirt. She was wearing an other of her RDJ t-shirt. This time, there was one on his picture on it.

"Hi Robbi" she said, with a singing voice. "I missed you."

He looked back at Ally, his eyes asking for help. Elaine was about to move forward when Ally decided to close the door back. . He smiled, relieved... but that smile made her heart skip a beat. "Right they are paying you big bucks for that devastating smile... but it's not working on me... " She flung the door open again.

"Hey Robbi..." Elaine said, still standing there. " I just watched Two girls and a Guy and I wanted to know... hum... are you that...HOT in real life?"

Robert slammed the door in her face, looking shocked.

"You people are weird." he said shaking his head and watching Ally walking quickly to her chair. "She gave me a picture of her in bikini the other day." he added, pointing the direction where Elaine was. "This is embarassing."

"I'm sorry Robert." "And... you..." he continued, sitting in front of her. "You're just acting the complete opposite. Why?"

"I'm not into movie stars sorry..." she responded, opened his file distractly.

"No... wait. I'm not asking you if you want an autograph really but it's just..."

"Can't we focus on the case?" she interrupted him, with a touch of impatience.

He remained silent a moment. She grabbed a pen and started to write some ideas on paper. Those ideas weren't a bit related to the case, she just had to set her mind unto something else. "Clean the bathroom. Wash my clothes. Cook some spaghetti sauce. Buy some ketchup."

She took a chance to raised her head and look at him. His eyes were glancing at her witth a little twinkle. She just couldn't tell what he was thinking but she could feel that he was looking at her differently and it troubled her.

"I'm.. I was... just preparing for the doctor's testimony. Basically, he's going to inform us about symptoms... dr... dr... drug using symptoms and..."

"Okay... that's it!" Robert said, cutting her short.

"W...What?"

"I think I know what's wrong with you." he declared, leaning closer. "Your having prejudices about me." he shook his head, thinking that he just had sticked his fingers to the cause of her trouble. "What are you doing tonight at 6 around dinner time?"

"Not.. nothing" she stammered, jumping to conclusion. "But that doesn't mean that I want to have a date with you."

Robert hid a laugh and explained:

"Tonight at 6... join me at the rehab unity. There won't be any candles. Nothing romantic. I just want to show you something."

"Right" she thought, blushing. "Your... gun..."

She finally accepted the invitation. He was just her client after all.

-----

(Robert)

I don't know what's going on with my lawyer. I thought that the little chat we had the other day while we were having lunch would make her see that I'm not a bad person. I think she's scared of me because of my drug history. Somehow, when I told her about my son and Calista, I had the feeling that she was understanding me and now I don't know... She's still scared as hell. I feel like I have to prove some things to her. Maybe she just doesn't know how it feels to be addicted to drugs. I have to show her what it's like. So tonight, I'll bring her to the 12 steps meeting.

Why the hell am I doing this? I don't have a clue. Does it really matter to me if my own lawyer doesn't believe in me? Really? I don't know. Despite her weird sides, she's rather good in her practice. I'm confident that she'll do the best she can with my case. Why am I doing this? Maybe she reminds me too much of Calista... Maybe I like her.. Maybe I'm just feeling lonely...

-----

"Don't talk to me!" Ally pointed a finger at Robert as they exited the rehab center.

"Ally..." Robert was trailing after her, somewhat enjoying the little fit.

"Pig!" Ally crossed her arms and began to walk down the sidewalk faster.

"What an interesting metaphor," Robert raised an eyebrow, "Look, I apologize if I offended you or anything, I didn't mean to-"

Ally whirled around and poked him in the chest, "Did you not understand when I said I didn't want to be introduced! That did not give you permission to say...'Hey, meet Ally McBeal, the chocoholic!'

Robert paused, moving Ally's hand away from his chest. Holding her wrist in his hand, he sighed, "That's what you're upset about? Then in that case, I'm sorry."

Ally yanked her wrist away, "They probably thought I was making fun of them."

"No, they didn't, " Robert said, "In fact, one of them told me that you were very sweet."

Ally's sour expression softened, a smile spreading across her face, "Re-really?"

Robert nodded, "Of course, then I asked her if she was sure it was Ally, my lawyer that she was talking about."

"Oh, funny," Ally narrowed her eyes. Robert was about to say something when he noticed a familar flash of light, visible out of the corner of his eye.

"What the hell?" he said, brushing by Ally. She turned and followed his gaze, not seeing anything.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

"I..uh...saw something," Robert said, his eyes searching the area. Where were they?

"Huh? What do you mean?" Ally asked, confused.

"Nothing, it must..I must just have been imagining it," he shook his head.

"Alright," Ally said, searching through her purse for her car keys. Her cell phone phone rang, and between the papers she was trying to hold in her teeth, she tried to tell Robert to answer it.

"Hello?" he said after he figured out how to turn it on, "Yeah..this is Ally McBeal's phone. Who's this? Oh hello Mr. Cage...yeah, this is Robert Downey Jr. No, please don't put Elaine on the line...what? Crazy fans? What crazy fans? My crazy fans! What- No, please don't let her on the line... they're doing what? "

Robert saw the flash of light again. He knew what it was, he was certain now, "Shit. No, not at you Mr. Cage. Ally, where's your car?"

Ally pointed down the block at where she had parked the car. Robert tilted his head in that direction, and they began to walk rapidly.

"Now, what are you saying? The press too? Wait, you better talk to Ally," Robert handed Ally the phone.

"John?" Ally said tentatively into the phone, as Robert reached for her car keys.

"Not safe to drive while you talk," Robert said as they reached the car and he jogged out onto the street and unlocked the drivers side.

"Ally?" John send on the other end of the phone through the noise of Robert turning the car on and pulling out into the street.

"What's the matter?" Ally said into the phone, watching Robert as he drove. Was it safe to let him behind the wheel? She rattled through the list of restrictions she had.

"There's....crazy....knock down...get inside....singing." John was lost in the static.

"You have to speak up," Ally said, motioning for Robert to turn right.

"There's some of Mr. Downey's crazy fans trying to knock down the door and get inside...and they're singing!" John was practically screaming now.

"They're singing...what are they singing?"

"Here, listen.." Ally heard a rustle, and in the background, she could faintly hear the large crowd singing.

"I'm in love with Robert Downey Jr., won't you let me love you..."

John came back on the line, "Apparently, someone told them Robert was due back here after the two of you left, and they want to meet him."

Ally sighed, "Okay, we'll be there in a few seconds...Can you get us in through the back?"

"There is no back," John said, "Okay..we're going to send out someone to go talk to them...No, Richard, you can't go out there. RICHARD! Ally, I gotta go."

"I uh-" Ally sighed as John hung up the phone. Ally turned towards Robert, an aggravated look on her face. How could he look so content at a time like this?

"Tha- that was John," Ally said.

"So he told me," Robert replied, stopping at a red light, "You people really need to learn how to drive out here. Next left, right?"

"Yeah," Ally said, tapping the cell phone against the dash, "he uhhh...what did he tell you what was umm..going on?" Ally giggled a bit, wondering how she was going to handle the crowd. She hated crowds.

"Something about crazy singing fans, why?" Robert asked as he turned onto Beacon Street.

Ally shrugged, "Oh, just asking..." They drove the next few blocks in silence until the office building came into view. Robert frowned as he saw the crowd of people chanting his name.

"Aw..crap.." Robert said, stopping the car and turning towards Ally, "So...this is what you meant, huh? I take back the part about you being sweet."

"This is not my fault," Ally said and thought quickly, "Alright, I don't know how to handle this, but my safest bet would be that we trade seats, and you run into the building.."

"I run into the building?" Robert said skeptically, "and how exactly am I supposed to shove through all of these people?"

"Well..." Ally swallowed hard as she watched the crowd, "We'll have our answer sooner than we thought."

Robert watched in horror as the group of fans realized who was in the parked car and began stampeding towards them. He slumped down on the steering wheel, thinking. He turned the car back on, and began to drive at a snails pace through the crowd. He was sweating. Hadn't he gotten out of California to avoid all of the fan outbursts?

Fans where trying to jump the car, screaming for rehab and not jail. Ally's eyes were opened wide in shock and fear. She looked over at Robert, waiting for instructions. He took a deep breath and nodded.

They opened the doors of the cars and jumped out. Ally felt the crowd rush past her as they tried to get to Robert. One girl was screaming hysterically in her ear.

"Teenybopper," Ally muttered as she was shoved out of the way, "Hey! Watch it..uhh...Robert?"

She felt a hand grab her wrist, and she turned to look at its owner. Robert was holding on to her, struggling to sign an autograph with one hand, and escape the crowd at the same time. Ally smiled and pulled him through the crowd into the office building.

"Is it always that bad?" Ally asked as she stared at Robert's rumpled hair. She ran her fingers over her lips. Yum.

Robert shook his head, "Never..hmm..Ally, can I...my wrist?"

Ally looked down and snatched her hand back, "Oh..um..sorry."

Robert grinned, "Well, at least you're not afraid to touch me now. The twelve step meeting must have done wonders."

Ally nodded, "Uh-huh..well, umm..I uhh...it's only going to get worse..people, you know? Elaine's upstairs."

"Save me," Robert groaned. He paused, "But you know...I have a feeling she's the least of your worries at the moment."

"Oh...right..your..testimony. Crap! You've got to...oh god..Come upstairs, we'll try to hide from Elaine."

Robert looked confused for a second, and then nodded, "Oh, alright.."

Ally began to walk towards the elevator, and stopped when she noticed Robert wasn't following her, "Robert?"

"I give it back again...you're sweet and charming, " he stopped, "but not as much as me."

Ally rolled her eyes, but couldn't help cracking a grin. Robert looked over at the elevator, "Uh..is there somewhere else we could go...because I don't know how much more bra signing I can take."

Ally sighed, "We'd have to go back outside. Are you sure it's worth it?"

Robert closed his eyes, "Oh, god yes! Anything but being asked to sign underwear. She still isn't off of that you know."

Ally walked over to Robert and took her car keys from his hand.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"My apartment," Ally replied as they dashed out into the waiting crowd.

-----

(Ally)

Talk about your interesting evenings. I had almost forgotten about the twelve step meeting after the whole fan escapade. It has to be hard to live that life.

I still haven't forgotten the chocoholic statement though. Think really hard, if you are a drug addict, wouldn't you feel as if someone is making fun of you?

And what exactly was it that he saw? His ex-wife? A member of the mafia? Oh god...

Breathe Ally, breathe...

But how can I breathe when he looks so....forgive me Larry...yummy...

He makes me miss Larry, but there's something else there that I just can't put my finger on. I can't actually be attracted to him, can I?

-----

As soon as they arrived to her apartment, Ally looked for Renee. In shock, she realized that her roomate wasn't there. The idea that they were alone invaded her mind. "Just breathe..." she told herself. "He's not going to bite you..." She took her coat off and kicking off her shoes half way, walked casually to the fridge where she looked for something to eat.

"Nice place." Robert said, looking around.

"Thanks."

She got a large plate of leftovers out of the refrigerator. It still looked okay to her.

"How about some Salmon and..." she began and then gasped. "ahh..."

His head had just appeared next to her. He had his hand on the fridge door next to her and was looking inside.

"Do you have some beer?" he asked taking his fingers out of the door as she was slamming it with an annoyed look.

"Are you crazy?" she shouted out, separating the meal in two plates. "I'm your lawyer remember? Not a bartender.. You... you.. you just got out of your 12 steps meeting and you're asking for alcohol. I can't believe it!"

"Gee... calm down Ally. I was asking for a beer not for a line."

She slid his plate in the microwave and crossed her arms on her chest. He sat down at the table, looking a little disappointed. Like she would be crazy enough to let him drink. "I have to respect the ethics of my profession. I'm a professional, right... even if I can't keep my eyes of him..."

She found herself smiling just by looking at him. He was almost pouting just like a kid who didn't get his dessert. "Oh... that face he's doing, it makes me want to ruffle up his hair.... He's so cute." The microwave beeped which made her get back to earth.

"It smells good." he said, his eyes focused on the plate. "So much better than in rehab."

A few minutes later, she was just sitting in front of him, holding her fork with one hand and the other writing down some ideas for his testimony.

"Maybe I'll have to ask you some questions about your childhood. Would you mind?"

"No... that's okay..I guess.." he said taking an other bite of the salmon.

"Gosh... this is so good. Hmm..."

"It's just leftovers." she objected, blushing behind her napkin.

"It's just de-li-cious." he corrected.

He bit into a carrot and the smile he flashed her made her blush even more.

Staring back at her plate, she thought that Robert Downey Jr was in fact very charming. He just had a way of smiling that would make it impossible to her to not respond to it. "Oh gosh... Now he's charming..."

"You know what?" she said, raising up. "I've got some wine."

"Great!"

-----

(Ally)

I better stop drinking or I'll lose control of myself. My thoughts are flying. I don't want to say what I'm thinking about... it would be inappropriate and I would hate myself for putting words on what I'm feeling right now. So I guess I better stop thinking and take an other glass of wine.

It just feels so good.

-----

(Robert)

She asks me again to pour some more wine in her glass. I can tell by the way she's acting that she not really used to drinking. I'm telling her that she must stop before really getting drunk, but she insists. With a laugh, she puts her hands next to mine as I'm filling up her glass. Our fingers touch for a second. She smiles. She has the most adorable smile.

-----

A hour later, they were at their second bottle of wine. That bottle was on the floor next to the couch where they were sitting trying to work on his testimony.

"You know what?" Ally said, noticing that she was slowly losing her coordination. "I have to thank you for bringing me to..." She paused, feeling a little dizzy. She closed her eyes and when she opened them up, Robert had moved a little closer. Her only thought was: "Oh..."

"To the 12 steps meeting?" he finished. "Don't tell me that it opened your eyes to the terrible world of addicts and that you're about to join us."

"Se... serious... seriously." she tried to say, feeling like her mouth wasn't following. "He! He!"

Laughing, she leaned her head back on the couch just where Robert's arm was standing. She slightly turned herself to face him, her eyes glancing at his knees. They were pratically touching hers but she didn't mind. She was feeling completely relaxed... completely drawn to him...

"What?" he asked, holding his head with a hand and smiling at her like she was about to make a joke.

"Seriously." she tried again, happy that the word had came out perfectly. "I had never realised how much drugs could destroy a life... When that guy... huh..."

"Mike?"

"Huh... yeah... when he talked about what had happened to him.. It was so..."

She couldn't find any words that would suit to what she had in mind. Mike one of the resident had lost his wife and his three year old daughter after he had took drugs. He was so stoned, sitting on a chair and completely into space that he wasn't aware that a fire was burning the walls. The firemen had to take him out a few minutes later.

"It was so sad." Robert completed again, looking away.

"How can you look happy and then a minute af.. after so sad?" Ally whispered, intrigued.

Her eyes moved from his face to her own hand now stroking his head gently like it was the natural thing to do. She removed it with a gasp of surprise.

"What am I doing?" she thought.

"I don't know maybe I'm just neurotic." he said, half smiling.

"Believe me... Robert..." she objected. "Between you and me... I'm the one who's neurotic."

"Maybe the word freak would be more appropriate."

"Aaahh... Funny!" she exclaimed punching him on the chest, noticing how it was muscular and then thinking: "oh...my...gosh..."

He grabbed her hand and held it in his, not letting it go. "Just like in my dream." Ally remembered, feeling warmth rushing to her face. She took a glimpse at her fingers captured between his and looked back at him straight in the eyes. She noticed that they were glowing strangely. "We just had too much wine." she thought, confused. "That's all..."

"I'm really... really neurotic." she insisted.

"What are the things you do?" he asked, leaning closer.

"Let's see... huh... I bang my head... on walls and doors when I'm upset." she began posing between words because her head was turning. "Sometimes, when I'm really mad I like to throw things at people ... I also hallucinate things such as dancing babies, unicorns, Barry Manillow..."

"Interesting..." he said smiling widely.

"Now tell me that you're neurotic!"

"Well... let's see..." he said, raising his shoulders. "Despite my addictions, I have some fears at night when I'm going to bed. I just got this idea that there's some kind of monster under my bed and that he's going to grab my ankles."

"You better be kidding!" she let out, laughing.

She felt one of his finger caressing the palm of her hand. Why would he had to touch her with a single finger just like in her dream? Was that dream prophetic? If it was, she had to make him stop... but she just couldn't protest. His finger was so soft on her skin... "It's just a finger." she thought, confused. "Just a little, innocent finger. There is nothing... huh... sexual about it!"

She stretched and reached for her glass of wine. She drank a full gulp, feeling his eyes staring at the top of her head.

"And sometimes... I like to smell shoes." he added forcing his eyebrows. She choked with her wine, her hand waving in front of her mouth. When she finally swallowed it, she bursted out in laughter.

"You're a freak!"

"Just kidding!"

His arm was still standing on her side. She could even tell that she had a side on the couch since he was so dangerously close to her. She turned her head slightly and felt his arm under her cheek. "My skin... on... your skin..." she thought troubled by the sensations she was having.

"No I mean... se... serious..sly." she tried to say, stumbling on the same word again. "I'm even more neurotic than you... I'm totally insecure... I'm self absorbed..."

"I'm even worse... I'm selfish." he said, cutting her short. "I have these major up and downs. I'm totally... reckless."

"I'm erratic." she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm impulsive." There, to make his point he leaned closer and kissed her. His lips sensuously on hers, he pulled her a little closer to him. She closed her eyes, feeling her whole body melting, she was about to respond to his kiss when he backed away, looking embarassed.

"Huh...Rob... Robert" she stammered. "You... you..."

"We better focus on the testimony." he mumbled, reaching for the file now waiting on the floor next to the couch and avoiding eye contact with her.

"You... you... just... kissed... me" she whispered almost to herself, her fingers on her lips. She was still in shock.

"Huh... yeah... "

He grabbed her pen while she was staring at him. Nervously, he began to write something next to the part she had written about an hour ago. She just couldn't tell what he was writting, she just couldn't take her eyes of his lips. That was all that she could see... Those lips that were on hers a moment before, giving her an unexpected kisses that made her doubt its reality. "What...huh...Why?" she asked.

"I just had to." he simply said.

She grabbed her glass of wine again and took a slip after the other. She noded, trying to get her mind back on the case. They remained silent, a few inches away from each other.

-----

(Ally)

He kissed me! Robert Downey Jr kissed me! How was I supposed to react to this? I wish I could be cool about it but I'm not... I'm here standing next to him with alcohol flowing in my veins. I had too much wine... that's the thing! Here's the proof that I'm really neurotic.

I...am..his...lawyer... and I just can't remember anything of his case. The only thing I can think of is his kiss. Why did he had to kiss me? How come I have the feeling that it was too short?

Since the moment I met him, I wondered how it would feel like. Yes, he has this strange resemblance with Larry. Sometimes, he just sounds just like him... his voice, his eyes... but... That kiss was a lot more different. It wasn't a Larry kiss.

It was totally unexpected, surprising... sweet... and exciting. It made me miss Larry and forget about him at the same time. I'm confused... I'm thrilled... I'm...

I want him to kiss me again.

-----

(Robert)

What the hell is wrong with me? I just kissed my lawyer! I just had this rush to kiss her and I don't know why. Is it because I miss Calista? Is it because she reminds me too much of her? When I kissed her, I felt alive for the first time in weeks.... that's all that I know... But... I'm screwing things again. I have this talent for screwing things!

I should go... but I don't want to go...

-----

"Look Ally..." he whispered breaking the silence. "I'm really sorry..."

"That's okay..." she tried to explain as he was looking down at the floor.

"It was just a moment of confusion."

"Yeah..."

Their eyes met and they got tied up in an intense gaze. Like it was possessed by its own life, she felt her hand covering his.

"I'm... I'm your lawyer." she stuttered, feeling his breath on her cheek.

"And you're my client... so..."

"So... let's keep it that way."

"Great."

She smiled, nodding. Then with a feeling of reality, she brought her lips on his. She felt his hand reaching for her neck. This time, he didn't had to pull her to him, she was doing it by herself, pressing herself against him, her hands running down on her chest, feeling his whole body shivering beneath her touch. Her lips were asking for more, tasting him, teasing him. Slowly, they broke apart, breathless.

"Okay..." Robert murmured, holding her hand to his heart. "This is going to far."

She had to feel if he was like Larry... She had to feel if he was different from Larry...

She kissed him again.

-----

- Renee made her way to Ally's room and opened the door like she was used to do every morning. She sneaked her head in and looked inside. Her mouth dropped when she saw who was laying down next to her roomate.

"OH! MY GODNESS!" Renee shouted out.

Ally's mouth which seemed stuck to Robert's shoulder slowly opened with a yawn. Smiling, she dropped a kiss on his skin before her eyes opened with difficulty.

"Hey Renee..." she mumbled, pulling herself closer to him and feeling his arms wrapping around her.

"Ally!" Renee exclaimed pointing Robert. "What have you done? Oh my God!"

Ally followed her finger's direction and a scream escaped from her mouth.

"AaaaaaaahhhhhHHH!"

She jumped out of bed, pulling the covers and wrapped them around her to hide her nudity. Imitating her roomate, she pointed at Robert still screaming. Both had a nice view of his naked buttock.

"Huh...What?" he mumbled, sitting up. "Woah!"

He grabbed a pillow and used it to hide his man areas. His eyes darted around the room, obviously with no idea of where he was.

"Wh... Wh...What happened?" Ally stuttered, holding the covers to her neck. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because of the testimony." he explained trying to replace his hair.

"I mean... What are you doing HERE?" she asked, her hand guesturing to the bed and then covering her opened mouth.

"Oh..huh..." he hesitated, taking a look under the pillow. "We had sex."

Ally gasped like it was a total surprise to her. Somehow, she was wishing that there was a better explanation for them being naked and sharing the same bed.

"I..I.." she stuttered, her face pale. "I don't remember."

She didn't recall much of the previous night. Was it just her imagination or had they been making out on her couch? No! It wasn't only her imagination, it didn't happened only in her head. It was real. Her eyes lowered to Robert's chest. "Oh my... it looks familiar." she thought with panic. She felt her stomach squeezing firmly and made her eyes move to Renee who was still standing on the door frame, looking back and forth at them, with amusement.

"Maybe I should take a picture.." Renee suggested laughing.

"Get out Renee! GET OUT!"

Ally pushed her roomate out of her bedroom, she walked next to the bed, almost tripping on the covers wrapping her.

"We had too much wine." Robert said rubbing his eyes firmly.

"I...I was drunk and you took advantage of me, you pig!" Ally yelled, pointing a accusative finger at him.

"Woah! You were the one who pulled my pants down first!" he snapped back.

"Oh...I.. Did I?" she let out, feeling dizzy. "Oh...no! I didn't! NOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"Or maybe YOU took advantage of me..." Robert joked. "I was drunk too."

Ally's head was turning, the walls seemed to move by themselves behind Robert. There was this bad taste in her mouth, insupportable...

"Huh...Ally? Are you alright?" Robert asked, noticing that her face had turned to green.

"I'm just feeling..."

A hand to her mouth, she ran to the bathroom where she threw up in the toilet. She stretched her arm, trying to reach for the toilet paper, she felt a hand grabbing her fingers. She threw up again, crying at the same time.

"Here take this." Robert said softly, handing toiler paper to her. "Do you feel any better?"

Gently, he let his hand rub her back. She noded, wipping her mouth with the paper. He helped her to raise up, the feeling of blackout she had increased when she noticed that he was standing naked before her. Her eyes dropped to his stomach and then lower. "That looks familiar too. Nooo!" she thought again, fighting to step away for his arms. Panting, she grabbed a towel and threw it at him. He caught it, his eyebrows raised in a look of surprise.

"A hand towell... huh... okay." he said, covering his man areas with a half smile. "Thanks."

"Fine!" she exclaimed, regaining a little strength. "You got me pregnant!"

Robert burst out in laugher, a hand holding the towel.

"Ally... that can't be! You don't get morning sickness the morning after the conception and you can't get pregnant because I was wearing a condom."

"What?"

He noded, making his way back to the bedroom. She took an other look at his buttock, following him with that dizzy feeling that wasn't leaving her a second. "Wow!" she heard the little voice in her head say, already feeling guilty by the thought of that single word.

"I was wearing a condom." he repeated, lying down on the bed with the hand towel covering very little of him.

"That was premeditated!" Ally snapped, rising the covers to her chin. "What? You showed up at my... my apartment with a full box of condoms, wanting to get laid. What is it with you mo... movie stars?"

"Ally... calm down. Those condoms were yours. There were in your drawer right there."

"Wh... what?"

She followed the direction of his finger and opened the drawer with a trembling hand. She saw the box of condoms and took a look inside. It was empty.

"AaaaaahhhH!" she screamed, throwing the box at his head. "There... there were five left! AaaaaaahH!!!!"

"Huh.. yeah... wild night" Robert said, half smiling.

"I have to take a shower... I have to...." she mumbled, turning on her heels and heading back to the bathroom.

"If only water could wash away everything" she was thinking, turning the water on. She got into the shower and started to soap herself firmly, her skin turning to red. "I slept with Robert Downey Jr! I slept with Robert Downey Jr!" she kept repeating, the water flowing on her head. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" She reached for the shampoo and while she was starting to soap her hair, it hit her. She got one of her first flashback of the previous night:

-----

"This is wrong Ally..." Robert was protesting while I was moving my hands under his t-shirt.

I kissed him again, my lips making sure to be tempting enough so he would respond to my kiss. "Don't you dare say no Robert Downey Jr..." I was thinking. He tried to push me back gently but I pulled him back to me.

"I may be drunk..." I began, fighting with his shirt. "But I know what I want. And I want you..."

I moved my mouth to his lower lip and slip my tongue to his mouth, meeting his. "There... Can you resist to this?" He couldn't obviously.

He groaned, his fingers started to unbutton my blouse with impatience. He caught my face with both hands, deepening the kiss with fever. I reached for my blouse and tried to take it off wondering why we had to wear clothes to live. He put his hands on mine, asking me silently to stop my move.

"No let me..." he begged.

He pulled me to him, making me move on the top of him. He made the blouse slide down on my arms as his lips were running on my skin making me shiver and moan at the same time. I didn't care about the mafia and the gun anymore. "Who the hell said that he's a bad boy? He's so soft.. so sweet..." He brushed the hair off my face, softly and stared into my eyes.

"You're so beautiful." he whispered. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I noded, capturing his lips again. I could taste the wine on his kiss. I just couldn't get enough of this. He was hot... I was sexy... It was all that I needed. My hands moved to his belt. My coordination was missing. I changed my mind and focused on the idea that I had to take this t-shirt of his off. That was all that I had in mind.

-----

Ally turned the water to cold, gasping. She rinsed her hair quickly, her hands trembling, her mind flashing her images she wished she could stop just by denying them. But she couldn't deny anything. She had sex with Robert Downey Jr and she even enjoyed it as it seemed now. She pushed the shower curtain and wrapped herself in a large towel. Her hair soaking wet, she opened the bathroom door to make the steam come out.

"Oh!" she let out.

Robert was still lying on the bed with the pillow back on him. He turned his head to her and tried a shy smile.

"Hey! Feel any better?"

She slammed the door and threw up again, her hand on her stomach. She washed her teeth, avoiding to look at her reflect in the mirror. She was ashamed of herself. Taking a deep breath, she headed back to the bedroom her hands on her waist.

"Why are doing still in bed?" she asked, furious and confused.

She saw a smile forming on his lips. "That smile just made me lose it yesterday." she thought, forcing herself to stare at something else. "Okay... his feeth... that is the only neutral thing on him."

"My clothes." he explained. "They're in the living room."

"Oh..." Ally gasped.

She rushed outside, slamming the door behind her and praying that she wouldn't meet Renee half way. She leaned on the couch. His pants were on the floor next to her blouse. His boxers were behind a cushion. A strap was shown between Robert files and the empty bottle of wine.

"Great my bra!" she exclaimed.

She heard Renee's laughter behind her. She turned to face her, hiding Robert's boxer and her bra behind her back.

"What are you doing Ally?" she asked.

"Just... Just cleaning a... a little."

"Hmm... yeah..." Renee added, her arms crossed on her chest. "What a mess!"

Ally rushed past her, her eyes looking to the ceiling. She heard her roomate giggle. "Ally McBeal slept with Robert Downey Jr... He! He!"

"Aaaarrrrgh!"

------

Renee was in the kitchen preparing coffee when Robert got out of the room followed by a Ally who looked terribly pale under her make-up. He, on his side, looked in good shape. She presumed by his wet hair that he had just got out of the shower.

"How about some breakfast Mr Downey?" Renee proposed, insisting on his last name with a signing voice.

"No!" Ally exclaimed. "I have to take him to the rehab center. Oh my..."

"Okay..." Robert simply said, raising his shoulders.

"I...I... I have to... to..." Ally stammered, her eyes glancing at Robert's arms. "I have to take my... my... my client to rehab. That's what I have to do."

-----

Robert handed Ally her coffee- black and very strong- and watched as she wrinkled her face at the taste of it.

"Ughh..." Ally said, feeling her stomach bubbling again. She swallowed hard, and pressed her head against the steering wheel. "Please let me get through this day," she thought to herself as she sat back up and turned the ignition back on.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, Ally trying her best to keep her full concentration on the road. Her mind kept going back to her slowly returning memories of the night before which included the alcohol.

She didn't know how they made it, but soon they were pulling into the parking lot of the rehab center. Ally parked the car, and lost her balance getting out of the car. Robert was there to catch her, his strong arms along her back.

"You okay?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

"Shut up!" she snapped.

Ally wiggled away from him and wobbled on her heels. Finally regaining her balance, she trudged ahead, Robert following her, her coffee cup in his hands.

The receptionist at the front desk had seen them from a distance, and was already buzzing Robert's parole officer to inform him of their arrival.

"You can go through," the receptionist said in a sing-song voice that said clearly: You are in trouble! Ally growled at her, and Robert led her by the arm towards the direction they had to go. Ally reached out for her coffee cup, taking large sips of it to try and look presentable.

They found the office, and Robert's parole officer was seated at his desk, an unhappy look on his face. Ally and Robert sat down in the chairs opposite of him like children whose hands had been found in the cookie jar before dinner. Ally began to chug her coffee, both Robert and his parole officer looking at her.

"Umm.." Ally laughed nervously, "Okay..Mr. Parole Officer..uhh..Johnson..uh..Mr. Johnson. I apologize," she enunicated, trying to gather her thoughts, "I should have called you..and um..informed you, that's it, informed you that I would be keeping umm..Robert..I mean..Mr. Downey..uhh...uh..testimony? He has testimony, and we were umm..mmmmm...uhh..preparing? "

Robert and Mr. Johnson were looking at Ally, the former trying to keep a smile back. The latter was wondering where exactly Robert had found this "quack".

"So you where preparing?" the parole officer made it sound more like a statement than a question. Ally nodded her head vigorously. "And I assure you," she continued, "I kept my eye on him...he only left my sight to go to the bathroom...he was with me all ni-ni-ight.."

-----

"Where's your bedroom?" Robert asked, slidding a finger under the strap of my bra.

I kissed him again. He didn't have to talk. I just wanted him to touch me. He made the strap fall down slowly with a finger. That same finger was now teasing my breast. I moaned and bit his lower lip. "Gosh... that finger is killing me..."

-----

"Ally? Ally.. Ally!"

"Ms. McBeal?"

"Night.." Ally shook her head, coming back to reality, "and I apologize again for not having called you...it's not Mr. Downey's fault. He assumed I was following all..procedures.." Ally could feel Robert's eyes on the side of her face.

-----

Procedure number one: smiling at him, show your interest to him. Number two: Do that thing with your eyes and make him know that you're thinking about it. Number three: the kiss... he has to know that you want more.

-----

"Alright, Ms. McBeal," Mr. Johnson reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out a sheet of paper, "Just read over this and sign it."

"What is it?" Ally asked, reaching for the pen that was being handed to her.

"It's a form stating that that you didn't allow Mr. Downey to use any form of drugs."

"What? Are you saying...you think I corrupted him?" Ally's hand shook.

-----

I think I understand now..." I said, making his belt fly away. "Why girls are just crazy about you..."

"Oh!"

He blushed a little. "Why does he has to be shy about it? That makes him even more cute to me. That makes me want to... No... I have to do it."

He started to undo his pants, he protested again but weakly. First, the button.. next, the zip, finally his pants were down and I had a hand under his boxers.

"Ally..." he said in my ear. "This is wrong"

-----

Ally stood up, signing the form quickly. She ran out of the room, her stomach turning. Her hand clamped firmly over her mouth, she made it to the nearest bathroom just in time.

Robert was waiting for her when she came out. She looked up at him, her face wet with tears.

"I did undo your pants first, didn't I?" she mumbled. Robert opened his arms and she fell into them.

-----

[Ally]

I don't even know why I'm crying. I'm just emotionally and physically worn out. Every part of my body hurts..all of it aches...I feel like I've wronged someone...

Larry...I've wronged Larry.. but somehow..I know I shouldn't feel this way.

I've cheated on a memory..a near memory...one I can still smell, can still hear, whose laughter still rings in my ears. The love that still makes my heart skip a beat when I think of him...

In a way though..I don't think I'll regret having slept with Robert in the long haul. He's taught me something...I don't think I slept with him because he reminds me of Larry..no..he knows how it feels...