The Top 10 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate

Do these 10 things, and well, I don't really know what will happen... but, oh well, you were planning to get a new roommate anyway, right?

10. Bring a life-size cutout of Bush. Call him your friend, and dress him up for holidays. Works esp. well at liberal schools.

9. Repeatedly play the same single song. Ask your roommie each time, "Have you ever heard this song and did you know it is my favorite?"

8. IM your roommate while she is in the room with you. Refuse to talk.

7. Post messages on your door (in your roomie's name) that say things like "gone skinny dipping" or "out at a sushi eating contest"

6. Get a fish and name it after your roommate. Complain about the fish to your roommate, calling it by the roommate's name.

5. Fill up the refrigerator with bologna (or something stranger). Never eat any of it. Accuse your roommate of eating it.

4. Buy an "exotic" potted plant. Give it a name, insit on moving it around the room (on your roomies side) because it "needs more light" or "there's a draft". Water it regularly, only play classical music to "help it grow", and read to it. Complain that the things your roommate does disturbs your plants' growth and go on and on about how your roommate doesn't respect other living things, etc.

3. Pick the subject your roommate hates the most, such as math, and print out lots of flyers offering tutoring in that subject by your roommate. Put his/her phone number on the ad. Hang them up all over campus.

2. Tell your roomie that you think s/he is a communist spy. Take notes on everything they do and look at them suspiciously across the room. Refuse to believe them when they tell you that they're not and that the Soviet Union is now Russia. Follow them to breakfast/lunch/dinner, and look for "evidence" in your room.

1. Talk like a pirate. Every single day.