These Questions
Chapter 9 - the Dream
Here goes, though Carter.
"Well," he said. "I've always wanted four kids like I said."
Abby nodded, sitting down on the couch. He joined her. She smiled, and it encouraged him to go on. He had never told anyone of this, and basically he was ashamed of it. It was a thing he had planned it since he was a teenager. It was a silly thing, really.
"I've never told anyone about this before," he said, "and I don't know if I really feel, you know - "
"Carter," she said gently. "I'm not gonna laugh at you." She smiled again and eased back into the cushions of the sofa. She raised her eyebrows, signally for him to continue.
"Okay," he said. "Okay, fine."
She brought her legs up to her chest and awaited the rest of his story.
"I want four kids. Two boys, two girls," he began. "I want to live in a nice home, but I don't want to leave Chicago, you know? It's like my home already. It's a little dirty, sure, but its home."
She nodded.
"I want my wife to be someone I care about, someone I love - "
"Well," she said with a laugh, "I would hope so."
"Yeah," he chuckled. "And I would want her to understand how I work."
"As a doctor? Or as a person?"
"Well," he said, "I was going to say as a person, but I would hope she wouldn't be arguable with my job schedule and all."
She nodded again and sat her chin upon her knees.
"I want a place with a big backyard," he said, staring off into nowhere, as if imagining it already. "I want a sprinkler in the yard, one of those that you just hook up to a hose. And all of our kids will just run around it in the summer time to stay cool."
The look in her eyes was longing for him to tell more. He was sure he was blushing with all of this, but he still felt content around Abby. It was a weird thing to keep inside without telling anyone, but it had finally come. And he was glad it came to Abby.
"And, little Emma," he said with a laugh. "She's our youngest. She wears the little water wings that you'd normally wear in a pool."
Abby laughed a little. "What are the rest of their names?"
Carter nodded, eagerly continuing. "The oldest is John. There's Matthew, and then there's my other daughter, Lucy."
"Lucy?" she whispered, watching his look as it shifted, but remarkably didn't find himself hurt.
"Yeah," he said. "I owe something to her. I never loved her. We weren't that involved, but she showed me something."
She nodded. "Go on."
He knew she was bringing him slowly to the rest of the story. She understood that it was still a sensitive thing. But she was also surprised to see him talk of it so strongly, he knew it.
"And at night, my wife and I would get them all rounded in front of the - "
"Oh please don't say you'd read to them every night, John."
"No," he giggled. "That's too Brady Bunch or something for me."
"Oh," she laughed. "Well, then sorry for interrupting. Continue."
He nodded. He smiled at her and said, "We'd all get in front of the television and watch reruns of all the old shows. Like the ones that are on TV now."
"Sweet," she said. "It's cute."
"And then whenever one of my children would be scared of the thunder and lightning," he said, "they'd run to my wife and I in our bed." He smiled at the thought. "But, when John was old enough to deal with it, they'd all want to be with him."
Abby's eyes read something else now.
"And all of my kids would be like best friends," he said, "just like Bobby and I were. And sometimes, when they didn't want to admit they were scared, they'd come to me and my wife. Just to be on the safe side."
"Oh, Carter," Abby said with a tender smile.
"Breakfast, lunch, and dinner would always be hectic," he said with another smile into space, "and the nights when they're born will be long. But at night, when my wife and I finally settle down in bed, we'd know it was all worth it. So worth it, that we'd go through everything over again if it meant ending up in the same place."
Abby was left to stare at him with another smile. Her eyes showed something mild, but again, he was lost. At least he had her smile.
"And that's about it," he said.
"Oh, my God, John," she said. "I need a dream." She laughed and put a hand on his arm. "Whoever ends up with you, is the luckiest woman..."
She said this as if she would continue with "on earth" or "ever" or something else completely cliche, but she just stopped. She took her hand off of his arm, and used it to strengthen the strap of her purse on her shoulder.
"Let's go get some ice cream."
Her words hit him, but he knew it was still an awkward situation. What was she supposed to say? He didn't mind the way she had acted, and let it be. He picked her up by her hand and together they walked out the door.
[Part 10]