"They got married and lived happily ever after." I close the book and look at the sleeping child in my arms. It's unbelievable how much these things sleep. She got up three hours ago and now she's asleep again. I scoop her into my arms and get up. She nestles comfortably in my arms, a serene expression on her baby face. It's amazing how she immediately felt safe around me.

"Knock, knock," a voice says softly.

I slowly turn around and see a smiling Abby under the threshold. She looks amazingly beautiful, standing there with the dim light illuminating her face. Her hair is messy and she looks tired, but there's such happiness on her face, it takes my breath away.

"Hey," I say softly so I won't wake Magda.

"Hi." Her voice is equally as low. "Did she give you any trouble?"

"Not at all. An angel." I walk to the bed and gently lay the baby on it. Abby walks to the bed and stands beside me and we both look at Magda sleeping. Seriously, Magda is exactly how I picture Abby as a child. She has the essence of her mother. This essence that I want to have, not just as a side thing, but as a permanent thing. Things can't go on the way they do. I have to make a change in our lives.

"Abby, sit down." I indicate a chair near the bed and she obeys me without a word. I guess she can feel the seriousness in my voice. I draw a chair next to Abby's and sit in it. "I love Magda," I tell her.

Her face immediately brightens. "You have no idea how happy I am about this. If you had -"

I cut her short. "Just a minute. Let me finish. I'm not saying that I've come to terms with you having Luka's child yet. But I love her enough to want to get to know her better." I wonder if I'll have the courage to say what I really have in mind.

~o~

What the hell is on his mind? What is this all about? Not that I don't appreciate it. I do. I came here this afternoon dreading his reaction to Magda and it turned out better than in my dreams. But he's so odd right now. I'm not sure what to think. "What does that imply?" I ask him, trying to hide all urgency and impatience in my voice.

He takes a deep breath and looks at me straight in the eyes. "I think I love her enough to become her stepfather."

What?

"I want to be with you. I want to really be with you. Seeing you once in a while doesn't cut it anymore."

What?

"I think everyone would be a lot happier this way."

What?

"Abby?"

I try to process what he's saying but it's a little difficult. What exactly does he want? I don't understand. "What do you mean?"

"I am proposing that we both get a divorce."

"What?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. It's the last thing I expected coming out of his mouth.

"Listen, the suburban house, the white picket fence, the dog, we could have all that. We really could. This wonderful dream you had, we could have it. We just need to take some action." He's dead serious. Up until now, I had some hope that this was all a joke, but it isn't.

"I can't divorce Luka." Doesn't he get it? I thought I had made it clear a long time ago that Magda was my priority and everything that concerns her comes first, even before my own happiness.

"Why not?" He sounds hurt. He looks hurt. "You don't even love him."

How dare he make assumptions like these? "That isn't true. I love him. He helped me out when I had no one else." Oh God, here I go again. I always come back to the same thing. Will this vicious circle ever stop?

"Oh of course, Luka's the hero. What a great guy." His voice is sarcastic. "He always gets the girl too."

I have a sudden flashback of us two years ago. Luka trying to help all the time, Carter being so jealous, and I who couldn't make a good decision because of how afraid I was. But this is different. I'm not afraid anymore; I just want what's best for my daughter and a good structured family is what she needs. "Luka doesn't have me. You do. You have my heart in a way that no one else does, but I have to stay with Luka. For Magda."

He hides his face in his hands for a few moments and I wonder if he's crying. I don't know if I should touch him to comfort him or if it would be just an insult to him. I glance back at Magda who is sound asleep on the bed. This is for her. I have to remind myself that. She has to come first.

"Wouldn't you be happier with me?" I turn around and look at Carter. His eyes are red but there are no tears to be seen. He just looks emotional. "I sure would try to make you as happy as possible."

I give him a soft smile. He's always so generous. "I have no doubt you would. But it's not about us. For two years, it hasn't been about us anymore." I point to Magda. "You have to understand that it's about her now." I wish we'd never had this conversation. I can feel a break-up coming soon. The Carter and Abby era will be over.

He gets up, muttering, "It is about her." Then he leaves the room.

~o~

I watch her settle Magda in the car seat. The small girl is still deeply asleep. After Magda is buckled up, she puts the baby bag next to her and closes the door. She turns to me. She looks so sad. I know she is. If she weren't so stubborn, she'd be truly happy instead of pretending to be.

"Thanks for watching her. You didn't have to."

I shrug. What does she want me to say? I told her I wanted to have an active part in Magda's life and she refused. "She's fun," is all I can think of to answer.

"Thanks anyway." She stands on her toes, leans up, and kisses me softly. I barely respond. Not because I'm vengeful or something like that; my heart just isn't in it. After a minute or so, she backs away and gives me a half-smile. "See you later," she says softly.

"Bye."

She walks around the car and opens the driver's seat. As she's about to get in, she hesitates and looks at me. "Are we over?" Her voice was slightly trembling, betraying her emotions. I wish I were strong enough to say no, to end it all. But I'm not. Here's the only woman I've ever loved, asking me in a vulnerable tone if I'll leave her forever with no hope of being together again. I can't say yes, it's asking me to tear my heart into shreds. So I shake my head no. Her sigh of relief is so loud that I can hear it clearly even though I'm standing five feet away. She gets in the car and I walk around it to close the door for her. She rolls down her window and opens her mouth to say something, but she changes her mind and doesn't say anything. I take a strand of her hair and ran my fingers through it. Her hair is so soft. I don't remember touching hair this soft. Then again, I don't remember much about anything before meeting Abby. I lean down and caress her cheek with my thumb, and she smiles. Then I trace her smile and she kisses my finger.

"I'd like to see you again tomorrow," she says, her lips moving against my thumb.

I nod. I'd like to see her every day for the rest of my life, but I'll take what I can get. "We can take Magda to the park," I suggest.

She shakes her head. "Luka's not working tomorrow."

"Then he'll know you'll be gone for a while. What are you going to tell him?"

"I'll figure something out," she simply says. I think she's trying to ignore the problem; if she didn't she would probably panic. "I'll call you later tonight."

"Alright." I stand away from the car and watch her drive off.

Later that day she calls me. "What's Susan's shift tomorrow?"

"Nine to nine," I answer.

"Can you get a room for the day at the Holiday Inn?" She sure doesn't beat around the bush.

"Check in is at three o'clock," I tell her. I can hear a little noise of disappointment. Who am I to deny such a woman? "I can arrange something, don't worry about it."

"Thank you," she answers softly. She sounds like a vulnerable little girl.

"It's no problem. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

We hang up and I call the Holiday Inn to get a room for tonight and tomorrow so we can have the room all day tomorrow. Room 1634 as usual.

~o~

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