Dooley
And here she was again. In this same place with him.
It was like out of a dream. Each and every time.
Every time.
--
Parenting.
As much as a strain as it is drawn to be, its made my life wonderful beyond belief. My little girl and my little boy make my life better than ever. And my wife is the finishing touches. Without any of them, my life wouldn't be what it is, or should be.
I'm waddling through the hallway, looking for my wife. I have a daughter hooked to one leg and a son nestled on my shoulders. Abby has her fun with the kids, they love her; but she'd much rather enjoy them not as hyper as they are with me.
Its not my fault, really. I can't resist when kids plead with me. Its a bug. I have to say yes.
They're good kids though. Kelsey's just five, but she'd disciplined. Remarkably, considering how often she's allowed to play all of these crazy games we've made up along the way. She loves her brother and loves nothing more than to help out with him. Even when Tyler was just a baby, she was in love with him. She was fascinated by how often he cried or wet, or slept. She always kissed his forehead and made sure he was okay. She'd wake up in the middle of the night as Abby or I might have and watched silently and sleepily as one of us fed him.
At first, Abby or I would have taken her hand and guided her back to bed. Three-year-olds shouldn't be up so early in the morning or so late at night. But she'd waken up on her own and wouldn't go back to bed. She just nestled herself somewhere near and watched. She never broke the silence unless to ask a question. And she was always quiet. She made sure she didn't disturb Tyler, or the feeding.
Now Tyler was two. He was as energetic as Kelsey, not as curious and not as shy, but that's why we loved Tyler.
So I grab his little waist above me, behind my head, and wiggle it teasingly. He laughs in the cutest way possible. The way only two-year-olds can manage. I love it. Kelsey is still being dragged by my leg, so I do my best to lift her in the air and stretch her outward.
"Dad!" she exclaims as she falls off. She rushes to get back on my foot and holds onto my leg tightly, pressing her cheek against it. "Keep going!"
I laugh. "Kels, you weigh too much," I joke.
"Nuh uh," she says, still giggling. She gets off suddenly. "I wanna go see Mom."
"Okay," I say. I take Tyler off of my shoulders and hold him in my arms. "Hey, buddy," I say, pinching his little chin. He squeals and knots two hands near his chin. I lift him in the air and fly him overhead, his giggling taking me away.
--
Its so much easier than my last pregnancy to get around. I figure this one will be a girl, seeing as how difficult and stressful it was last time. Therefore, my husband agrees.
Kelsey does too. I think I sense something in her. I think she's got some medical genes in there somewhere. She loves to know why. And she loves to ask questions. As odd as it sounds, I think its totally true. I still remember how interested she seemed at age three. Here she is at age five, and one of her favorite places besides preschool is County. Just watching her with a stethoscope tells the whole story.
She has a real talent.
Tyler is my baby boy. He's quiet, but so adorably childish. He smiles at everything. He laughs and coos at whatever crazy face John might make. That's one of the many reasons I love my husband. I don't know how to explain it. So I just say he's great with kids.
"Mom," Kelsey says rounding the corner.
"Kelsey," I say, mimicking her tone of voice.
"We should go to the mall," she says, leaning toward the counter as I continue to scrub dishes.
"Why do you want to go to the mall?" I ask.
"To buy stuff," she says simply.
"You got a date, Kels?" John says, coming out of nowhere with a giggling Tyler making "vroom" noises from his arms. He notices me washing dishes as Kelsey shakes her head and laughs at his comment. "What are you doing?"
"Me?" I ask.
"Yeah you," he laughs.
"Washing dishes," I chuckle. "What does it look like?"
"I can do that for you," he says, putting Tyler down. "Here," he motions, shooing me away.
I chuckle again. "Thanks," I smile. "Come on, Tyler." I scoop him off the ground where he had chosen to sit so contently. Kelsey stays with her dad, reaching up as far as she can to peer over the counter.
"Hey Ty," I say. I wonder why people name their kids if they're only going to give them shorter names. Its easier that way. "How's my baby?"
He looks down and around the room. He makes his own noises to himself. "Toys."
"Toys?" I ask. "You want a toy?" I reach down to pick up a toy from the couch. There are none, so I reach down lower to pick one from the ground.
--
I turn around for an instant to see Abby readying to pick up a toy. With Tyler in her arms, I really don't want her to overdo it. I tap Kelsey on the shoulder and stoop to her level.
"Kelsey," I whisper, my face an inch away from hers. Its the playful position we often take.
"What?" she asks with a smile.
"Mommy needs help," I say simply. "Will you go be a big girl and help her with Tyler?"
She nods promptly.
"Give me a kiss," I say. She doesn't hesitate and kisses me promptly on the lips. She turns away and trots off to her mother near the couch.
I hear Abby laughing, thanking Kelsey.
"Daddy thinks I need even *more* help?" she asks, clearly loud enough for me to hear.
"Tell Mommy that she's carrying a baby in her tummy and that she needs a lot of help," I shout to Kelsey, also so Abby can hear.
Abby's still chuckling as Kelsey repeats the statement matter-of-factly. I finish the last of the dishes and join the rest of my family. I plop down on the couch and welcome Abby as she lays down against my arm. I play with her hair adoringly as Kelsey scooches to her mother's feet.
"Ugh, I'm hungry," Abby says.
"Anyone up for pizza?"
--
"Thanks for picking her up from pre-K," I express to Susan, taking Kelsey's hand. "And thanks for picking this little one from the daycare mess upstairs. I hate it up there."
"So does he," she laughs. "God, they're so cute. I only hope my kids are half as adorable as the two you've got."
I chuckle. "They might be cute, but you have no idea what its like behind the scenes."
She waves her hand in the air. "Oh, please Carter. I've never seen kids that behave this well. Kelsey opened the door for me on her way out and she calls me 'Miss Lewis.'"
"Dad said its polite," Kelsey smiled.
"Can't she call me Aunt Susan?" she laughs.
"Hear that, Kelsey?" I say, adjusting Tyler in my arms. "She wants you to call her Aunt Susan."
"Okay," Kelsey says.
"Well, I'll see you two later, okay?" she says nicely. She smiles at Kelsey and reaches out to rustle Tyler's soft hair. "Bye."
"Bye," I call. "And thanks again!"
She waves her hand behind her as she walks away. Abby approaches me and smiles at her kids.
"Hey," I say and go to kiss her. She responds, barely and quickly. "What?"
"I just had a contraction."
--
I feel bad for calling Luka back up here. But he was the only one at the hospital that John was comfortable leaving his kids with, and that was available. We thought about Susan, obviously. She babysits them occasionally when we need time to ourselves. And I understand that Susan's a longtime friend of John's, so I trust her and everything.
But the kids have never really been around with Luka. Tyler cried a little, but I think he's okay as long as he's with his sister. Plus, Luka's good with kids. I could tell he was a little nervous as well. Kelsey should be a help.
The doctor informed us that the baby's cord is wrapped around its neck. My first feeling was fear. I didn't want this to happen at all. Never. But John held my hand through the whole thing. He explained that it was going to be okay, even though I already knew with all of my medical experience that it probably would be fine.
They would have to perform the Caeserian. I didn't want that to happen, either, even though its such a common procedure. I knew I'd be awake through the whole thing and that John would be right there. That made me happy.
So, here I am lying here on this warm bed. Its a good thing its not cold.
I'm so nervous, I'm afraid I'm going to...
--
...throw up and ruin everything. I hope Abby hasn't noticed how nervous I am. The funny thing is that its such an easy task for the doctor to perform. I know I'll probably start telling doctors to be more proficient during the procedure, but I think they'll understand. No, they'll be annoyed. But, I'm a father. I'm allowed to do that.
At least Abby seems content. I think she's nervous, but not as scared as I am. I'm sure everything's going to be fine. Why wouldn't it be?
--
Its a good thing he's here. I wouldn't be able to have any of this without him.
--
I admire how she works. How she works without letting anyone know. She's got a gift.
--
I hear the cry right away. I didn't think it would happen this fast. Motherhood all over again. But I love the feeling, and it takes me to Heaven every time. Its a cry, which is a symbol of sadness or pain or something. But it makes you so happy.
I'm still holding John's hand. I squeeze it as the doctor asks him to cut the cord. He does so, and I can hear him crying softly. My first thought is that something is wrong, which I know isn't true.
"Look," he says, carrying a bundle of blankets near my face. "We have a baby girl."
I use my free hand to cover my eyes and cry again. I'm not known to cry, but I do it every time. Knowing that you love someone this much from the moment you see them is overwhelming. It takes your breath away and you can't believe it happened this way.
I can't hold her, so I take my hand away from my eyes and trace with my finger light patterns all about her skin. John just chuckles and cries some more. He bends down to kiss my forehead, as always, and lays the baby onto my chest.
I smile thankfully and stroke the baby softly. I'm so glad she's okay.
--
I'm so glad she's okay.
And I'm so glad the baby's okay.
--
Kelsey and Tyler love their new sister. Little Maegan. Tyler's curious about her, but only in a poking her eye kind of way. Kelsey wants to know where she came from and how she got there. I figured this question wouldn't come so soon, but with Kelsey, I'm never sure. So John took her aside for a second, much to my protest. She handles it like an adult. I was shocked, she's only five. She actually is that mature.
John sighed when he finished with her. "Well, that was different."
A few people from downstairs have been up here to visit. Luka came first, seeing as he was just outside. He brought Tyler in in his arms, and Kelsey by the hand. Apparently, he found Kelsey asking many questions. As expected. Luckily, he was able to explain them all (being a doctor) and evidently enjoyed it.
Deb stopped up and asked us who was going to watch the kids. John and I hadn't really thought of anything other than keeping them in the room with us. But Deb suggested her and her husband could watch them at our own apartment. We didn't hesitate to say yes. We thanked her and she told us how happy she was for us.
Everythig that happened tonight made me feel how lucky I was. To have a beautiful family. My kids, and my husband, my friends. All of them are so wonderful to me.
I love them.
--
She's sleeping now. Abby is. Maegan is still awake. She stares at the ceiling and almost refuses to sleep. The kids have gone home with Deb and her husband, so its just me and my new daughter, up at midnight. I can tell this one's going to be a handful.
I love it, though. My family has given me nothing but happiness. I live my life for them.
They make me smile.
--
They make me happy.
-the end-