Dooley
She's still amazing. My wife, I mean. My wife, my daughter, and my new baby. Our new baby.
I love my family. I love them all.
--
Its weird. I remember being pregnant with Kelsey, but never having it be this weighing. As weighing down. But, once again, John's been helpful. I remember the first time I was pregnant, he rushed around nervously to make sure I was comfortable, or that I was fed, or that I was maintaining a 98.6 temperature.
I'd laugh at him, and he'd never understand why. Then we'd go to bed, and I'd still fall asleep in his arms. He loved that baby before it was born, before our little Kelsey entered our lives, and now he loved her even more. He was such a father.
"John?"
"What?" he asked, whipping around the corner, anxious written in his eyes. Kelsey was hanging from one arm, giggling loudly. Her brunette hair was flowing about her face as she twisted from her upside-down position.
"Could you do me a favor?" I ask gently.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Could you just get me that pizza in the fridge?"
"The cold stuff?"
"Yeah, sure," he says with a smile. He comes over to me at the couch, Kelsey still dangling from his side, and kisses my cheek. I laugh as Kelsey cries a childish, "yuck." John picks her up and blows a raspberry on her stomach as she shrieks with laughter.
--
I still don't understand why women choose to get this awful stuff. Even my three-year-old daughter knows better than to eat anchovies. She wrinkles her nose in sync with mine as I pull it out of the plastic bag from the fridge.
I turn to her, her face three inches from mine.
"Eww."
" 'Eww' is right," I laugh, pinching her nose. She puts her tiny hands up in front of her face to shield herself from any more of my meaningless torture and giggles.
"Here you go," I say, tossing the pizza nicely to my wife. I sit down next to her, Kelsey in my lap.
"Hey Kels," she says as her daughter wriggles from my grip into Abby's arms.
"Hey Mommy," she says, attempting to sound as casual as her mother has. She nestles her tiny body into one of Abby's arms. Abby looks down at her daughter, setting the pizza aside for a second, and runs hand over her daughter's soft mane of hair.
"Is Daddy tickling you again?"
"Yes!" she says with a smile, accusingly staring at me.
"Maybe we should tickle him one day," Abby says, her voice connected in her way that's she's always used for children. "Let him see how it feels."
"Yeah," Kelsey says, her voice rising.
"Go get him, Kelsey!"
--
I shout playfully, letting her get excited. She charges at her father as he puts his hands up in little protest. Her little fingers dig into his sides as she giggles her whole way through. He picks her up and she closes her eyes, continuing to giggle. She hooks her arms around his neck and hugs him, as he hugs her back.
He does the 'eating' routine. Every father does it sometime. He makes that horrible, yet adorable 'arrggh' noise in her neck as she laughs away.
Finally, we all calm down. I'm still smiling at the perfect family I have as my daughter comes back to where she began: in my arms. She lays her head down on my large stomach.
"When's the baby coming?"
I chuckle lightly, my eyes I can feel are burning with a smile. "Pretty soon."
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"We don't know yet," I say. "Its gonna be a surprise."
"I think its a boy," John says with a wink.
"You do?" Kelsey and I ask together.
He nods. I've known that he's felt this way. He says its the reason this time around, the pregnancy was more tiring. He says, 'boys do that.' Of course, I answered a somewhat agreement. Kelsey still thinks the same as she did when we first told her; she thinks its a boy as well.
I'm not sure. Going by storybook family tales, its a boy. Or a girl. There's always two different stories to go by. The one where there's a father, a mother, a girl, a boy. Or the one where there's a father, a mother, a girl, another girl, and after a while a boy.
But, honestly, who cared? This was real life anyway. I smile as Kelsey laughs aloud at the movement inside. The baby's kicking. Its always kicking.
"He could play soccer," Kelsey says, giggling at her own joke.
"He could," John says.
--
I see Abby cringe right away. We were just getting ready for bed.
--
"Do I have to?" I hear Kelsey whimper from her room. Abby always has any less difficult time easing her into bed. I tend to collapse at her brown eyes pleading with me. That's my little girl. She's got her ways on me.
"Honey, you have to go to bed now," she says softly. "As soon as you fall asleep, you wake up, you know."
"Nuh-uh," she protests.
"Yes you do," Abby says. I can read the smile in her voice. "When you fall asleep, you wake up right away." She snaps. "Just like that."
"Are you joking me?"
"I'm not joking."
"Okay," Kelsey says. I can hear that big kiss she gives her every night. She gives me one, too. Something special about Kelsey. Her big kisses on the cheek. "Night, Mommy."
"Night, Kels. I love you." Another kiss.
"I love you, too."
Abby murmurs another "good night," and lightly closes the door. However, Kelsey pleads not to, so she agrees to let it stay open. A moment later, she appeared in the room with a smugly fixed smile.
"Hey," I greet her. "She asleep?"
"She's lying down," she answers with a grin. "I don't know how she's so well-behaved, when half of her is my genes."
"Ha," I say sarcastically, dropping into the bed in my shorts and t-shirt. Abby falls into the bed, more carefully of course, and sighs as she points to the lightswitch.
"You're gonna make me get up to turn that off?"
I laugh and hoist myself up off the bed. "Got it."
I'm still looking at her as she frowns suddenly. She picks herself up in the bed, sitting up against the headboard. She pushes the comforter away from her body.
"What?"
"The baby."
"What?" I say, beginning to smile.
"The baby," she says, stuttering. "The ba-baby, its coming."
I smile. "You sure?"
"Don't stand there!" she says, her voice with a hint of laughter. "I'll go get Kelsey."
--
"Kelsey," I say, rubbing her arm. "Kelsey, sweetie - "
"Yes!" she cries starting from the bed. "I get to stay up?"
"No," I say, chuckling to myself as she crosses her arms in disappointment for a brief moment. "Kelsey, the baby's coming."
"The baby in there?" she asks, pointing to me.
"Yep," I say, as cheerfully as possible. John appears in the doorway with my bag.
I start to get up, but I find it difficult, seeing as Kelsey has pressed her head to my stomach. "Baby, hi! This is your big sister Kelsey!" She kisses it and turns to John. "I'm a big sister now right?"
John smiles. His happiness clearly mirrors mine. 'Happiness' wouldn't sum it up at all. There's more. So much more than that. He quickly snatches the little girl's hand, seeing how excited she is with this new situation. I volunteer to take her hand, and ask Kelsey if she can walk fast enough. I know she would like that responsibility. She gives me a proud "yes" and we start outside to the car.
--
Kelsey's grown quiet. She sees her mother now, and she doesn't know how to respond.
Abby insisted, the doctor insisted, and Kelsey certainly wouldn't say no. The doctor suggested that Kelsey stay inside to see the birth of her new sibling, and Abby thought it would be a 'unique experience' for her. Kelsey was extremely intrigued by the idea. She even clasped her little hands together and smiles with pure joy.
In the end, I agreed. Maybe it would be a good thing for her. Besides, this way she wouldn't be stuck out in the waiting room with a strange nurse. I had tried to get someone from the ER up and watch her, but no one could leave their position now.
Now she's silent. She's watching her mother, clearly in pain. But she's asking so many questions. She wants to know why her mother's sweating, why she's holding onto my hand so tightly. Luckily, Abby's second time through, she's maintained her composure enough in front of her daughter.
Gotta say I'm proud of her.
What amazes me most, besides the effort Abby's been giving forth, is Kelsey's curiosity. She soothes her mother after watching me do so, telling her to breathe and even attempting to do the exercises herself.
So, Abby's had a few smiles. And, in her condition, that's pretty remarkable.
"Okay, Abby," the doctor says. The nurse echoes the same on her right side, opposite of us. "One more push should do it. Ready?"
Abby nods. Kelsey's trying to stand up on my legs to see the baby coming out, even though its clearly out of her view. Abby grips my hand tighter, and falls back to the pillow, as my whispers to her cease.
A tiny cry fills the room. Abby gasps and laughs at once, her chest heaving heavily. I smile, same as I did three years ago. Kelsey tries to see what her little brother or sister looks like, and it occurs to both Abby and I at the same time: do we have a boy or a girl?
--
"What is it?" I ask, a tear freshly gliding down my face.
"Its a boy," John says with a smile. Kelsey is watching as the nurse cleans him up. "I told you," I joke.
Abby chokes with a smile on another cry. I lean down and kiss her as she smiles against my mouth. We both laugh lightly. Kelsey looks at me.
"The baby's here, Mom."
"I know, Kels. You have a brother."
"I'm a big sister now?"
"Yeah, Kelsey. You're a big sister."
--
John's gone to get me those ice chips. Kelsey's fallen asleep against my body. Although I feel I should do the same, and fall asleep, I can't. I'm holding my little boy in my arms and watching both of my children fall asleep. There so beautiful. I don't know how we did it. Two perfect little babies.
The door opens softly. John walks in with the white Styrofoam cup. He sets it on the table next to me and reaches for Kelsey.
"No, shh," I say, putting my hand on his. "She can stay here."
He smiles and takes the chair on my left. We look onto our son again. John pulls down the baby's blanket to see his face, then his tiny hands wrapped up in there as well. He laughs.
"What?"
"You did good," he said. "You did great."
"Thanks," I say with a smile.
"Especially considering Kelsey being there."
I chuckle a little and sigh. I love John, I love Kelsey. And I love this baby boy.
