TITLE: Version 2.0
AUTHOR: Horsey Spike
EMAIL: horseyspike@aol.com
RATING: PG-13.
SUMMARY: Angelus didn't do his return right. Someone had to fix it. Angelus/Spike
SPOILERS: Up to 'Surprise' and 'Innocence'. That's Season 2 for all those who don't know. Right about the time dear ol' Angelus made an appearance.
DISCLAIMER: All the people you have seen on the tv don't belong to me. Well, I would like to own them- but I don't think Joss will be willing to part with them.


Angelus sank his teeth into the neck of the woman who had oh-so-nicely come to his aid and volunteered to be his first meal back. An onlooker stood to one side of the alleyway, watching this scene, still a little green in the face from the love-making scene from earlier.

Angelus raised his head from the woman's neck, and blew out the smoke he had somehow gotten from her lungs.

"That looks really stupid."

Angelus whirled to see the female onlooker, whose name doesn't matter, only the act she has to do does. "Who are you?" He scowled at her.

"Someone who's going to tell you how to run your life for the next six months, so I can be happy, and you can not be sent to Hell." The onlooker smirked at him.

"Why should I listen to you?" Angelus asked, in that pompously arrogant way of his.

"Because I can make your life so damn miserable, you'll think that soul was a vacation to Club Med, Disneyland, and Hawii all at one time."

Angelus was silent, which was the best way for him to be.

"Now, you're going to go to the warehouse where Spike is. You're going to heal him, to get him out of that wheelchair. Then you are going to have lots of sex, and re-establish your relationship with him."

"But, I wanna have sex with Dru." Angelus said, in a whiney tone that made him sound like Angel.

"No. She's insane. Spike is much better. And you'll be saving us from Spike's drunken depression about her leaving him, because we all know you'll never leave him." Angelus was silent. The onlooker lost her smile. "Right?" she threatened, in a threatening voice which was much better than Angelus's.

"Right," he said in a squeak.

"Good. Go now."

Angelus scampered off to the warehouse.

"He's never gonna get it right," the onlooker said, shaking her head, following Angelus at a more sedate pace.

***

Sure enough, when the onlooker (whose name is Dani, although it really doesn't matter) got to the warehouse, Angelus was panting after Drusilla, leaving Spike to be rolled away in to dusty corners. Making a mental note to remind herself to help Angelus make Spike feel wanted, Dani strode into the main room of the warehouse.

"Nice place," she annouced, gaining attention from Angelus, Drusilla, Spike, and the big blue guy meditating in the corner.

"It's her," Angelus snarled.

Drusilla hissed at Dani as well, but Spike rolled over to her, and said, "Thanks, ducks, but I don't need your help. The poofter will come to me in his own time."

"Shh," Dani said to Spike, placing her fingers on his lips, getting a little shiver of excitement through her. "No, he won't. And this is for the good of S/A shippers everywhere." She ignored Spike's confused look, and the wobbily-ness of her own knees at having touched Spike, and focused her glare on Angelus. "You weren't listening," she said to him, narrowing her eyes, and really pulling on her Inner-Evil.

Angelus was watching her with that bored stare of his that was really annoying, and ordered the Judge to burn her. The Judge came forward from behind Angelus, and placed his hand on Dani's upper chest. Nothing happened. "This one can not be killed," the Judge said, losing interest.

"I'm the Master Evil Scorer(TM)," Dani bragged. "You can't even compete with me."

Angelus seemed to shrink slightly behind Dru, but that's probably someone else's imagination.

"Now, listen this time," Dani said with extra force. "You don't need Dru. In fact, forget about her. And forget about Buffy. Neither of them mean anything in the long run. You only need Spike."

"But, I want Dru," Angelus said weakly, and he was definitely behind Dru this time.

"No," Dani said. "You don't. You only need Spike." Then, in order to solve this problem, she pulled a stake from the inner pocket of her leather jacket, and plunged it into Dru's heart, ignoring the pang in her heart for the vampiress. Angelus was revealed in all his cowering glory, as Drusilla crumbled to dust.

"Now, go," Dani ordered, jerking her thumb in Spike's direction.

Angelus went over to Spike, and Dani watched, satisfied, as Angelus gave his blood to Spike to make him strong again. And then she grew thoroughly more interested as Angelus started to kiss it better, and strip the clothes from Spike. And when Spike started to reciprocate, that was when Dani decided it was time to cut the fic off, and to watch the boys in peace.

It was a sight to be savored, after all.

end