Part 1
Ben Markham woke up to the pushing of lips against his.
"Steph" he mumbled.
Suddenly the lips pulled away.
He snapped his eyes open in time to see a flash of red hair as the head that had been kissing him turned away.
"Bron, Bron, Oh Bron, I'm so sorry, I… I just wasn't thinking, I'm sorry"
He moved closer and grabbed the figure around the waist pulling her towards him.
Slowly the red hair turned to reveal the face of Bron Craig.
He could see the hurt in her eyes.
"Bron, I'm really sorry, but you have to understand for practically my whole life I have been waking up with the same person, and now it feels wrong that…" he saw her close her eyes tightly, "no, not wrong, just different, different and different doesn't always mean bad"
"Does it mean bad this time?" Bron asked opening her eyes again.
" If it did do you think I'd still be lying here" He smiled at her and softly kissed her forehead.
"I guess I can forgive you then" she said then added, "If I kiss you are you going to call me Steph again?"
"Definitely not" He replied and beat her to the kiss.
After a few more kisses Bron pulled away, "I have to go have a shower now, before work" she said getting out of bed and grabbing a dressing gown from its chair.
"Ok Bron" Ben replied.
"Yes Bron, that is my name"
"I know, Bron, Bron, Bronwyn"
"That one you can forget in the future" she interrupted.
"Ok Bronwyn" Ben replied smiling that smile he knew made her heart melt.
" Oh so that's the way it's going to be is it Benjamin" She replied smiling the smile that made his heart melt.
She picked up a cushion from the chair and threw it at him.
He jumped out of bed, grabbed a pillow and ran at her with it, whacking across on the top of head with it.
"Give that here" she screamed and grabbed at one end of the pillow while Ben still held the other.
"No way" he said.
"Bron" Connor yelled through the door, "Are you alright in there?"
"Just fine thanks Connor" She replied laughing as Ben started make funny faces at her.
" Bron stuck her tongue out at Ben and he started laughing as well.
"Is that you Ben?" Connor asked.
"I should hope so" Ben replied, which set them both off again.
"I just leave you two alone, I think" Connor said confused.
" Give me that pillow now Ben" Bron screamed again.
"Uh-uh" Ben said shaking his head.
"If you don't give it to me now I'll never sleep with you again" She replied trying to sound serious.
Ben quickly dropped his end of the pillow.
"Ah I knew that would work," She said smiling that smile at him again. "Well since your up now, you can join me in the shower"
" Ummm, I'm not sure about that one " Ben replied placing his hand under his chin and shutting one eye and shaking his head like they used to do in those old Sherlock Holmes Movies, "I'm not quite convinced."
"Oh don't worry," Bron lent in and whispered in his ear, "I'll convince you"
She kissed him passionately and ran her hand down his chest until she had almost reached his penis, then she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom.
"If you want me to continue, you're going to have to have a shower with me"
"How can I refuse" Ben replied and he kissed her again.
She walked backwards letting him kiss her until she reached the shower.
She pulled away from the kiss and jumped in the shower turning on the water, Ben followed.
"Now" Bron said, " Where were we?"
She kissed him and again ran her hand down his chest this time going all the way down,
He looked into her eyes, god she was so beautiful.
He felt at that moment as if nothing else in the world existed, as if nothing else mattered.
He wanted to be with her, close to her, forever.
Bron slowly moved her fingertips, circling around his penis.
Suddenly he tensed, not because he wasn't enjoying it or because he didn't want her, but because it triggered something. Steph used to do the same thing, earlier in their relationship.
This was too much, he wasn't ready, he couldn't take anymore, and he pulled away.
"Ben?" Bron asked Confused.
"I have to go, I'm sorry" He opened the shower door and jumped out, he quickly headed out the bathroom door and into the bedroom, where he quickly grabbed his clothes from the floor and started to put them on.
Bron was behind him a few seconds later, "Ben what the hell is going on?" "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry Bron, I can't do this, I'm not ready'
He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and headed towards the door, but Bron grabbed his hand pulling him back.
"You can't do this to me Ben, please" he could see tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm still in love with Steph, I can't do this to her, I don't love you"
Bron snatched her hand away
"Get out Ben, get the hell out of my house" She fell to a heap on the floor and started to cry uncontrollably.
Ben wanted to say something, but thought better of it; he turned and walked out the door.
"Fuck" Bron yelled, as she lay on the floor in a fit of tears.
"Bron, Bron, are you ok? what's happened" Connor yelled through the door.
"Go away Connor" Bron said, "I want to be alone"
That's the last thing I want, Bron thought to herself, to be alone.
"Bron, I…"
"Connor just piss off," Bron yelled.
How could Ben do this to her, he told her he had moved on, he told her that he loved her.
God she was gullible, this was the second time a guy had told her that, and the second she ended up with a crushed heart because she believed it.
Well not anymore, she was through with men, through with love.
Although that's what she said last time, but then she fell for Ben.
She had thought he was different, thought that this time, maybe, just maybe, it would work.
She knew that she had never felt this way about anyone before in her life and she had never had anyone chase after her for six months before either, but no, he was just like all the rest.
" Why do I love him so much?" She said out loud.
This would be so much easier if she wasn't so much in love, she could just forget about it, say that he was an asshole and not worth it.
But it wasn't true this time, Ben just didn't fit into those categories.
I should have realized it this morning, when he said Steph's name instead of mine, she thought to herself, it hurt, but I honestly though it meant nothing.
What an idiot, how could I have been so blind.
Blinded by love.
She got up and started picking her clothes up off the floor, memories of last night came flooding back and tears sprang to her eyes again.
'How could you do this to me Ben?" She screamed. "I hate you"
Ben had had a terrible day.
It seemed to drag on forever and all he kept thinking about was her, Bron
How he had hurt her, how he loved her and what the hell his problem was.
He had told himself so many times that Steph was gone and he had to move on, he wanted to move on, but he just couldn't.
He felt like he was being pulled in two different directions, right and wrong.
He wanted to do the right thing and be with Bron, but it was like Steph kept interfering and telling him that it was wrong to be feeling this way.
It was like she was haunting him from beyond the grave, making him feel guilty for loving Bron instead of her. And it was working, that's exactly how he felt.
It seemed as though Bron was an angel, a glowing light that he was reaching for, but Steph was the devil, pulling him back towards loneliness and depression.
Ok, now his imagination was running away with him, Steph was not the devil, but Bron sure was an angel.
For the millionth time that day he took both photos out of his pocket and stared at them, for the second time in as many days, he had made a decision about his future, his life and his love.
He loved both women, he knew that, but he could only have one, it was her or nothing, and he definitely wanted her.
He stared at both pictures intensely.
Not the he needed to, he had looked at them so many times today, he would be able to see them clearly in his sleep.
One had pale skin and brown eyes, with blonde hair that flowed ever so lightly over her shoulders. When she smiled she reminded Ben of a porcelain doll, so fragile and precious.
He remembered her well, the way she smelt, the touch of her skin, the sound of her voice when she said his name, the way she laughed, the way she kissed, everything.
The other had slightly darker skin and blue eyes so bright they shone like stars, with short copper coloured hair that sat just below her jaw line tight around the back of her neck. Her smile could light up the whole world, and bring a smile to the face of everyone that saw it; she was so vibrant and full of life.
He knew her well, but not well enough, he wanted to be one with her, to know every thought, every feeling, every emotion.
To know exactly what she liked, what she didn't.
To be able to know the minute she came into the room, even through a crowd.
To get acquainted with her every sense, sight, sound, smell, touch and taste.
He closed his eyes for a minute to gather his thoughts, then he placed one photo back in his pocket.
He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and opened it.
The face of the same woman he had just put away stared at him
.
"I'm sorry Steph" he whispered, "I love you, but my place is with Bron now"
He took the photo out and kissed it before whispering "I will always love you"
He placed the photo in his pocket to join the other identical one.
There was now an empty space in his wallet, but not for long.
He took the photo he still held in his hand and placed it where the other photo had been.
He closed his wallet, then opened it again, the beautiful face of Bron Craig now stared back at him, that's the way it should be, he thought to himself.
He closed the wallet again and looked up.
There she was coming out the door.
"Bron" He yelled and ran towards her.
Bron wished she hadn't woken up this morning or that she was yet to wake-up and this was just a dream.
Last night was the dream, she thought to herself.
She was kidding herself, thinking that he loved her, that he was over Steph.
How could he love her, she was just a friend who excited him.
He admired her sense of fun, her lease on life and he feels he has to protect her, but he doesn't love her.
How could he, he was so much better than her, he was a decent, kind and caring guy.
He deserved someone so much better than an immature, wild and stupid girl like herself.
He needs security and someone he can connect to and sit down and just enjoy being with, not always having to have the time of their lives.
Bron thought she could be all these things, but now she knew the truth, she could never be Stephanie and that was all that Ben wanted.
She stepped out of the lift as it stopped on the ground level and headed out the door towards her car.
"Bron" She froze.
That voice made her heart skip a beat, then she remembered this morning's events.
She saw him running towards her, god he was sexy, she could see his bicep muscles below his shirtsleeve and his chest muscles from beneath his shirt.
She loved it the way his dimples stood out when he smiled and the way his eyes crinkled up to looked like puppy dog eyes emerging from his brown tinted skin
.
But he wasn't smiling today, he looked serious, very serious.
He was in front of her by now and without even thinking, she reached up and slapped him hard across the face.
She turned her back and went to walk away.
"Bron, we need to talk, now, badly, please." He ignored the slap, although she could tell it had hurt.
"I can't even bear to look at you Ben Markham" She replied bitterly.
"You don't have to look at me, just listen"
His pleading voice tugged on her heart strings and she stopped.
"Bron, I know that you must be hurting right now and I hate myself for that, for putting you through that, for making you think you misjudged me. But you didn't."
"I love you, I love you so much it scares me and that's what this morning was all about."
"I love you more now, after only being with you for one night and friends for a few years, than I loved Steph years into our relationship and that scares…scared me shitless, I thought that if you were married to someone, you could never love someone more than you loved them, but I know that if I continue to be with you what I felt for Steph will be nothing compared to what I feel for you."
Bron slowly turned around, tears had started running down her cheeks as Ben spoke, she loved him that much too, more than she had ever loved anyone before, more than she would ever love anyone again.
She turned to face him and saw that he was crying too.
Was he telling the truth? She thought to herself, does he really love me more than he loved Steph, how could he possibly, they were married, she was so beautiful and caring, well sometimes.
But she wanted to be with him, she needed to be with him, even if he never got over Steph and called her by that name every morning, she needed to be with him.
Never in her life could she have imagined being so much in love and there was still so much more to learn about him, so much more time to spend together, and so much more intimacy to be had.
As she stared into his eyes, she felt nothing but love, all her anger, her hurt, had vanished.
He made her feel so safe, so special, so wanted, so happy and she would be with him forever.
Ben stared straight into Bron's eyes and she stared back into his, but she didn't say a word.
What did I except her to do, he thought to himself, vehemently throw her arms around me and tell me how much she loves me and wants to be with me forever.
If, but It was highly doubtful, she had felt that way yesterday, there no way those feelings could still be there now, not after what he'd done, not after he'd betrayed her trust, after he'd made her fears a reality.
He knew that half the reason it took so long for Bron to admit her feelings was because she believed he wasn't over Steph yet, how could he convince her now.
His face was stinging, but he thought himself lucky she had only slapped him, she probably wanted to cause a lot more damage.
Why won't she say anything, he had ruined it well and truly ruined it.
"Bron, say something please" he pleaded at her.
"Ben, you screwed me…literally", she chuckled for a second than continued, "you have no idea how much you've hurt me. My self esteem hasn't been at its highest lately but last night, you brought it right back up there I thought that I was worth something to you…"
"Oh god Bron you are, nothing in the world means more to me than you." he interrupted; tears were welling in his eyes.
"Well this morning you made me feel worthless, like I was just a little sex toy, someone to sleep with and remind you what sex was like, so you can go home and pine for your precious little Stephanie again, you crushed my self esteem and my heart"
He really had hurt her badly and he knew that it was a lost cause now.
You fucking idiot, he thought to himself.
He had lost the love of his life, again.
"But" Bron continued, "I love you, I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone ever, you have made me feel so happy Ben, from the moment we met, every time I saw you or talked to you or worked along you, you have made me happy and last night you made me the happiest girl in the world and I'm not going to just let you go because of a stupid mistake you made. I can't feel the love you felt for Steph, but if it's anything like the love I feel for you, I know I would never ever be able to move on with my life if it was suddenly taken from me"
He hadn't ruined it, she still loved him, she still wanted to be with him and this time nothing or nobody was going to ruin it.
"Bron, I love you and I want to be with you, if you'll still have me"
He had said the same word yesterday and he just prayed she would say the same words too.
She leant in and Ben followed.
"Yes please" she said.
Ben grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards him and into a passionate and intensive kiss that seemed to last forever.
"I love you so much" Bron said when she finally pulled away.
"I love you more" Ben replied.
"No I love you more," She said,
'Prove it" Ben replied and kissed her again.
"You'll have to offer to give me a lift home again first" she replied laughing.
Ben smiled, to think that he almost lost this, the love of his life, the woman of his dreams.
"Bron Craig, the most beautiful woman in the world, can I take you home"
" Yes please" she replied laughing.
Ben put his arm around her shoulders and she put hers around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder as they walked towards Ben's car.
He had totally forgotten about the blonde woman who had taken up so much of his thoughts today, all that he focused on now was the most beautiful woman he had ever met that was resting her head on his shoulder.
" I don't know if I've told you this before Bron, but I love you"
" You have Ben, trust me you have" Bron said and kissed him again
.
The end