Have You Ever
Author: Chonny
Email: bubbledubble@start.com.au
Rating: PG.
Summary: Terri feels left behind
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters Mitch or Terri or any other characters or
places you recognize, they all have the rightful owners.just not me. I also
don't own the lyrics "Have You Ever" The belong to Brandy and can be
found on her album "Never Ever". But I do own the poem "Thinking
Of You" and reserve all rights to it.
Terri lay awake staring at the ceiling, the room pitch black except for the red
glow cast by her clock radio which read 3:14am. She lay there letting silent
tears trickle down her cheeks as she recalled perhaps the biggest mistake of her
life.
***
"Mitch, can I grab you for a moment?" Terri says, pulling Mitch out of
a stream of people walking in the opposite direction. "Sure, I'll take an
early lunch" He agrees quickly, looking at her with a cheeky smile.
Whenever Terri needed him for a moment it usually meant a quickie somewhere
risky. Mitch loved it, not knowing when Terri would have to *discuss work* with
him. But this day it was different, the mischievous look Terri usually had in
her eyes was missing, and Mitch's smile faded quickly as he realized that
something big was on Terri's mind.
"Terri, what's wrong?" he queries arriving at the cafeteria behind
her.
"Umm sit down" Both do so. Terri looked down at her hands, then
fidgets a bit finally she looks up.
"Terri.."
"Mitch, I.I don't know how to put this. You.know that I consider you the
greatest friend I ever had? And that no matter what happened between us I hope
we could always have that friendship. But.I don't want anymore than that. We're
not always going to be young you know, what if we grow apart? And in 10 years
time we both find different people?"
"I.but Terri, that won't happen to us, we love each other, we could make it
work"
"But we shouldn't have to make it work, it should just happen"
"Oh god Terri, please don't do this to me"
"I just think it's better now than in the future" Both fall silent,
both in tears. Then Terri gets up and walks away, leaving a bewildered and very
upset Mitch sitting alone.
***
Have you ever loved somebody so much
it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
***
This wasn't the first time Terri had lain awake recalling that conversation.
Many a night had gone by when sleep had vanished and this memory played through
her mind like a film without sound. How could she have been so stupid? What on
earth had possessed her to say that to him? Now, well now after leaving the
order all she had to do was tell him, tell him that she loved him, that she'd
always loved him, right? Wrong. It wasn't that simple. Mitch, unlike Terri,
*had* moved on, *had* found someone else, and even gotten married. So many times
Terri had tried to tell Mitch exactly how she was feeling but the words just
wouldn't come out right or not at all. On one of the many nights she had lain
awake thinking of him, she wrote a poem explaining her feelings:-
You're always on my mind
In my heart, and through my soul
An entanglement of happiness
Engulfs the world I know
You seem to possess vibes
That make the world go round
An engaging smile that makes my heart go sound
A smile tends to creep onto my blissful face
As I think of all the memories of
You cheering up the place
You seem to have a touch
To make me laugh, blush or cry
Or even just a look that makes me
Want to fly
I just want to wrap a vine around us two alone
To keep the world separate
From the flirting we have shown
I don't know how to express it all
My words can not escape
I tend to let them all seep out
But they are sometimes too late
I want to tell you everything that I write and think about
But a laugh and some hints
Is all that I can get out
Stronger and deeper we get day by day
I don't know what makes me feel this way
Just the thought of you being by my side
Is ever so close for me to be satisfied
An eternity is just too long for me to wait
The enchantment of your kiss would make the smile gleam
Give the undreamable commodity
That the existing vitality
Has yet to know.
***
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
***
Email the author: Chonny