The Future According to BenI was thinking to myself today and I said to Alexander Wales:"Lex, you need more content for your website." "But Ben, nothing really noteworthy has happened in the past few days and our brain is stagnating!" I replied to me. "What we need is some sort of fluff peice that requires very little actual brain power," said Sam Sterling (also me). And thus was this thingy born. Behold it, in all of it's magnificence! The future is born! 2009- Man sets foot on the planet Mars. 2010- I get married. 2013- The DVD is replaced by DVD+ with eighty times the capacity. 2016- The Mars colony is established. 2020- Gasoline-powered cars are no longer street legal. 2023- Mexico City collapses under it's own weight. 2028- There is no petroleum left on the planet. 2033- I die in a car accident. My brain is donated to science. 2039- MIT scientists have recreated my essence as a computer program. 2040- My computer essence is bought by Microsoft. 2041- A tweaked version of the digital me is distributed as a virtual pet. 2049- Mars terraformation begins. 2051- Digital Ben© has sold 100 million copies. 2053- The entire light side of the moon is covered with solar collectors. 2070- NASA's Deep Space Exploration Program begins. 2080- Word arrives from Alpha Centuari A that DSEP1 has arrived. 2089- George Bush IV becomes president. 2096- Microsoft debuts Digital Ben+©. 2100- Cultists kill themselves when the new centuary begins. 2156- Digital Ben+© goes online. 2186- Mars has completed terraformation. 2200- Cultists kill themselves when the new centuary begins. 2209- Mars claims independence from Earth. 2210- War is declared on Mars by the U.N. 2240- Mars is defeated. 2300- Cultists kill themselves when the new centuary begins. 2345- Historians remark on the lack of anything noteworthy. 2400- Cultists kill themselves when the new centuary begins. 2413- Hackers alter Digital Ben++© to be chaotic evil. 2414- The Earth has fallen under Digital Ben++©'s control. 2500- Cultists kill themselves when the new centuary begins. 2526- Digital Ben++© fall to rebel coalliton fighters. 2528- Microsoft releases Digital Ben+++©. 2580- Flying cars are available to the average family. 2581- The Earth is destroyed in a freak flying car accident. 6206- Hale-Bopp cultists kill themselves. |