Usagi's Joyride

By Tupie

Usagi had just gotten a 72 on her math quiz at school. It was the best grade she had ever received in her life, and she was going to celebrate all night. She longer this time, because the press had arrived, and had insisted on asking questions. Pluto was finished throwing up, and Neptune finally woke up after having upchuck spewed on her.

Pluto smiled. "I'm glad you were able to save the day, Saturn, but to sacrifice chocolate... You are indeed a brave warrior!"

Neptune wailed. "YOU PUKED ON MEEEEEE!!! AGGGGHHHHH!!!!" She ran up to Haruka and scrubbed the upchuck off her face using Haruka's shirt.

"Hey!! Don't get ME covered in it, too!!!" Haruka shrieked.

Usagi's Joyride

By Tupie

Usagi had just gotten a 72 on her math quiz at school. It was the best grade she had ever received in her life, and she was going to celebrate all night. She invited all of her friends- Darien, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Ami, Haruka, Michirru, Setsuna, Hotaru and Chibi-Usa! They were going to go to a fancy restaurant, and Usagi was paying for all the food. Usagi had gotten a huge load of money from her parents for her grade, so she promised enough food to feed everyone till they blew up! This pleased Chibi-Usa especially, so they all came.

"Another round, Please!" Usagi shouted in the restaurant to the waiter. However, she wasn't speaking about alcohol- she was talking about chocolate cake! They'd already had three servings each, but that was never enough for Usagi... So, she purchased more. Hotaru belched, and Chibi-Usa laughed at her. "Can't you handle any more, Hotaru-chan?"

Hotaru looked at her drowsily. "Of course I can..."

*****

Three hours later, all of the senshi made their way out of the restaurant. They were stuffed, literally, and had all taken on the shape of spheres. Chibi-Usa even resembled Cartman, plus the pink hair! They stumbled down the street, yawning and whining about how much their stomachs hurt.

"I am never, ever going to celebrate at a restaurant with Usagi-chan," Setsuna muttered.

Usagi was beaming happily. "I may be stuffed and look like a Jigglypuff, but I feel great! I've never eaten so much in my life!"

Hotaru shuddered. "Twelve servings of dessert... Oy..." She looked up slowly and noticed an explosion coming from across the street. "Look," She said monotonely. "It's a big explosion. Think we should transform?"

Chibi-Usa looked over slowly. "I suppose so... Do we have to? I want to go home and sleep.."

Usagi was in a good mood due to all of the chocolate she consumed. "Let's go and fight evil bad guys!"

"Silver Moon Power!"

"Silver Jupiter Power!"

"Silver Mercury- Ugh... Power!"

"Silver Mars Power!"

"Silver Pluto... Oh... I think I'm going to throw up..."

"Silver Uranus Power! I've never been fatter in my life!"

"Silver Neptune! .... Snore..."

"Silver Saturn *BELCH* Power!"

"MAKE UP!" Everyone echoed except for Pluto, who was throwing up, and Neptune, who was sleeping.

The scouts slowly made their way across the street.

"All I can say is," Sailor Mercury slurred, "I'm glad that these Sailor Fukus are made to fit right no matter what our figures are.. Because either wise the seams would be ripping apart on all of our outfits..."

Twenty Minutes Later, the senshi had finally crossed the street and made it to the building, which was now being taken over by evil chocolate-hating monsters. Usagi shrieked. "HEY! You! I'm Sumo Sailor Moon and on behalf of the moon, I'll punish you, chocolate hater! No one in my presence better hate chocolate!"

The monster stared at her blankly, and then laughed. "You're ridiculous! It'll be easy to get rid of you!" The gigantic monster picked up Sailor Moon's bloated sphere figure and used her as a bowling ball to hit the others. Everyone was knocked over, except for Pluto and Neptune who were still feeling sick and tired.

Sumo Sailor Saturn shuddered. "I may be stuffed on chocolate, but I have to help to defeat this monster!" She rolled across the street, avoiding the monster's view. She continued to roll and roll and roll like a kickball, and then stopped herself with her glaive when she came closer to it. She slowly stood up and held her glaive out in front of her. "HEY! I'm Sumo Sailor Saturn and I will punish you in the name of... *BELCH*" Saturn blushed, and monster laughed at her.

"You're more pathetic than the other one! You didn't even finish your line..." He threw a giant golden beam at her, and Saturn sweatdropped. She tried to get out of the way, but only moved half an inch before it struck her. She wailed, and then blinked. She laughed evilly at the monster. "Hah! Don't you know that evil anti-chocolate golden beams always bounce off Sumo Senshi like us?! HAahhahahahahaha!"

The monster sweatdropped. "Uh, guess I should have figured that out..."

Sumo Sailor Saturn slowly waddled up to the building, and stood at the gigantic monster's feet. "Do you surrender to the power of Chocolate and Sumo Senshi?"

"NEVER!" He yelled.

"Fine then!" She yelled back, and wacked his feet with the hard part of her glaive. "Give up! Give up!!!"

The monster rolled his eyes. "Is that supposed to hurt?"

Sumo Sailor Saturn sighed. "I should really resign... I'm sooooo tired..." She yawned. "I'm never going to eat dessert again..."

The monster lowered his hand to throw her back, but she moved *VERY* slowly to the side, and he missed. Luckily, this monster wasn't all that bright himself and didn't move to quickly either! Saturn has the advantage!

Saturn slowly walked backwards to get a good look at the monster. "If you won't give up to the power of dessert, I'll puniiiishhhh yoooooooouuu!" She belched again.

Sumo Sailor Saturn raised her glaive above her head and shouted, "SATURN CHOCOLATE-"

The other senshi woke up. "No!!! Saturn!!!! Don't do it!!"

"You'll become-"

"Allergic to Chocolate!!!!"

"Nooooooo!"

Saturn smiled, looking back at them. "It's okay! I'll be fine!" She turned back to the monster.

"SATURN CHOCOLATE HEARTBURN FRENZY!"

A stream of dark chocolate spewed from her glaive and struck him in the face. "AAGGGH!!! Nooooo!!! I HATE CHOCOLATE!!! It gives me heartburn!! AGGGGH!!!!!! ANYBODY HAVE SOME TUUUUMMMSSSS?!?!?!"

Saturn stood, still spewing the chocolate at him as he slowly shrunk in size. He became smaller than Sailor Saturn, and looked up at her. "Uh oh..."

Sailor Saturn body slammed him. Her 460 pound body squished him, and she stood up smiling happily. "Aw, man..." She grumbled, "Now I've got a stain on my Fuku!! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

The other senshi *SLOWLY* stumbled, waddled, crawled and rolled over to her.

"Wow! Saturn! You sacrificed eating chocolate to destroy the monster and save the world! That's such a huge sacrifice! I could never do that.. I mean, forget the world, I have to have my chocolate!" Usagi said, attempting to hug her. "Damn.. My arms aren't long enough to get them around you.. Oh well..."

Seven Hours Later- the senshi made their way back across the street to greet Pluto and Neptune. It had taken much

The other senshi beamed happily, especially Saturn. "Hey! Let's bounce!"

The senshi literally bounced to their homes, without using their legs. They just used their newly-created blubber and bounced down the streets like basketballs. "It's so cool that I was able to transform into Sumo Sailor Saturn!! Wheee! I'm way more powerful now!!! hehehehehe!" She beamed happily.