Funny Joke from Funny Sex Du Jour!
"What were you THINKING?"
Two voices - male and female - obviously on a plane. "I think everyone's asleep, lets go."
Sound of steps.
"This one's empty ... no-one's looking ... you go in first."
"It a bit cramped - let me sit down."
"Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on."
...Sniff sniff
"Ah perfume - you think of everything."
"This is great....." (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations...
Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!"
posted by Kevin Sung at 6:40 PM
You know you grew up in the 1980s when.... (from TwistedHumor.com) Rated G
-You know what "Sike" means.
-You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
-You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."
-You can sing the McDonald's Big Mack,Filet-o-fish, quarter pounder, and French fry song.
-You know who Mr. T is.
-You know who Fat Albert is. And who was old boy with the pink mask?
-You ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.
-You could breakdance, or wish you could.
-You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
-You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power.
-Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
-You thought that Transformers were "more than meets the eye".
-You knew that knowing is half the battle.
-You wanted to be on Star Search.
-You can remember Michael Jackson when he was black.
-You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.
-You remember the garbage pail kids, and owned some.
-You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."
-Rut row raggy. and Zoinks.
-You HAD to have your MTV.
-You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
-You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game.
-You owned any cassettes.
-You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living in space.
-You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.
-You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
-You wore your Izod shirt with the collar up.
-You had a Swatch Watch with the Swatch Guard.
-Your Legos collection started with the free sets in a Happy Meal.
-You remember when Happy Meals came in a box, not a paper bag.
-You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
-You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
-You know what a "Push Up" ice cream is.
-You had to come in the house when the street lights came on.
-You had to change into play clothes after school.
-You owned, or knew somebody with a Commodore 64.
-You hated Scrappy Doo.
-You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.
-You wished you had a light saber.
-Somehow you still know all the words to songs played on VH1's "Big 80s"
-Your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
-You have ever said, "Gag me with a spoon."
-You have ever wondered what happened to Saturday morning cartoons.
-You had to get up to change the channel, or had one of those noisey "clicky boxes".
-You can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine song on Sesame Street.
-You thought the Thriller video was pretty cool.
-You remember the first time you went in to a video store to rent a movie.
-Canadians watched...Romper-Room, Mr. Dress-up, and the Friendly Giant - remember the teeny weeny furniture you wished you had?!
-You wore those wide, colorfull shoelaces.
-Quiet Riot's "Come on feel the noise" was the best song - ever.
-You know where "I want my two dollars" came from.
-You still cannot go in to the water because of that damn movie Jaws.
-El Debarge's "Get a beat to the Rhythm of the night" plagued the radio every hour.
-You remember life before minivans and SUVs.
-Cars...Gremlins were cool - Pacers were not!
If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80s".
posted by Kevin Sung at 6:44 PM
"Useless Facts" from Funny Sex du Jour!
a. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days,
you would have produced enough sound energy
to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
b. If you expelled gas consistently for 6 years and
9 months, enough gas would be produced to create the
energy of an atomic bomb. (Now, that's more like it.)
c. The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG!)
d. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. ( In my next life,
I want to be a pig )
e. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour. (I'm still not over the pig.)
f. A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before
it starves to death. (Creepy!)
g. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head
is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping
the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the..." )
h. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be
a pig in my next life. Quality over quantity.)
i. Butterflies taste their own feet. (Something I always
wanted to know.)
j. Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing.. )
k. A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder
who was paid to figure that out.)
l. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know
some people like that. )
m. Starfish have no brains. (I know some people
like that, too. )
n. Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew? Who
cares! )
o. Humans and dolphins are the only species that
have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?!)
posted by Kevin Sung at 6:36 PM
Well, long time. First of all, congratualation to The movie "Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragon" of winning four Oscar awards. It is a very important message for chinese movies maker, actor, actress... We can do it!
posted by Kevin Sung at 5:25 PM
Long long wait, finally i get to watch The new season of X-Files in HK. Although i know the new season has begun since last year November in US, I am in HK now, what da heck. Well, still wanna know how the story will go. The gifted child appears again, so does Mulder, but just for like 3 or 4 shots. Still feel kinda strange to see Scully 90% of the time. I remember that the the Cigarette Smoking man is still alive, wonder when i will see him again. Damn, Robert Patrick is totally outta shape compare to his T-1000 look in T2. Oh, Mulder, pls come back from the ship....
posted by Kevin Sung at 8:41 AM 