Part 2


Willow sighed, dipped her head down and spoke quietly and quickly. 


"Iwasdoingthisspellandsomethingmusthavegonewrongbutitalmostworkedandthenigotdizzyand"
She took a deep breath. "…and that's when I hit my head... 
Do you hate me?"

"No, of course not. Never," he assured her. "But I must admit, I'm not
quite 
following you."

She sighed again, resigned that he should know the truth.

"I was doing a translocation spell-"

"What!?!" he yelled.

She flinched and held her head. "Oh, not so loud."

"A translocation spell?" he asked through clinched teeth. "Good Lord,
Willow. 
How…  I…." He got up and began to pace.

"I knew you'd be mad."

He spun to face her. "Damn it, Willow." He took a calming breath.
Yelling at 
her wasn't going to help. He had to remain calm, find out what she was
up to 
and put a stop to it. "Perhaps, you should start from the beginning."

She nodded. "Okay." She frowned and then pinched her face in pain. Her
hand 
was shaky as she touched her forehead.

Giles' anger was gone in an instant, replaced by fear and concern. He
crossed 
back to the sofa and gently took her hand, guiding the icepack back to
her 
forehead. "Just tell me what happened," he said softly.

"I've been researching a lot of magicks." She cast a quick glance at
Giles. 
His was mouth pursed in a frown. "But I wasn't doing anything," she
added 
hastily. "Just reading and learning."

"Until," he prompted.

"Until today. I know I can do so much more to help, Giles. I mean, I
know the 
research is important, but I want to help. Really help. I think I have
some 
talent with magicks, but to get really good, you have to practice."

"But a translocation spell" He shivered at all the possible
repercussions a 
failed spell could have.

"I know, but think how handy that could be. I mean... Poof! There one
minute, 
gone the next."

"Willow, you could quite easily be gone… permanently. Magicks of this
sort 
are not-"

"I know." She sighed and recited. "Magick's not a game. It's not
something to 
be trifled with. It's a power older than time itself and should be
treated 
with respect and a healthy dose of fear."

He chuckled. "I guess I've given that speech one too many times."

She lowered the icepack and met his eyes. "No. I just remember it. I
listen 
to what you say, Giles. I really do."

Her trust and respect in him were a little overwhelming. He wasn't sure
he 
really deserved either.

"I just had to do something," she said despondently.

"You already do so much to help, Willow. We… I'd be lost without you."

She smiled gratefully, but shook her head. "You'd manage."

He started to protest, but she kept on.

"After everything that happened with Angel and the Mayor and then last
week 
with the Brotherhood." Her shoulder hunched forward. "I'm sorry you got
hurt."

"Willow-" He reached for her hand, but she pulled away. The simple
gesture 
hurt far more than it should have.

She knew that if she let him comfort her, she'd just melt into his
arms, and 
forget her plan. She couldn't let that happen, it was too important.

"I know I can do more. I have to do more."

He nodded in reluctant understanding. "Tell me about the spell."

Her face brightened a bit. "Well, I went to Winslow Park, to be alone
and I 
held the amulet." She pulled out a necklace from under her shirt.

"May I?" he asked reaching for it.

She leaned in and held it for him to inspect. He examined it carefully,
his 
eyes growing wide. "Where did you get this?"

She pulled away and ducked her head sheepishly. "From an ad in the back
of 
Popular Science."

He choked and looked at her in dismay.

She shrugged and continued. "I'd already primed the crystal before I
got 
there. I figured I'd try something familiar first, something kinda
easy... so 
I thought about going home. You know, feeling safe and secure, welcome
and 
all that."

"What about your parents?"

"They're travelling again," she said sadly.

"Oh." He saw the loneliness behind her eyes and had to quash the urge
to hold 
her.

"Anyway… then I felt this dizziness and I kind of stumbled forward. The
next 
thing I know, I'm knocking on your door with my head."

He laughed softly. "So it worked, in a way."

"Yeah. But I don't know what went wrong."

"I think we should just count ourselves lucky that it turned out as
well as 
it did."

She frowned and touched her head.

"It certainly could have been worse, Willow."

"I know."

Gods, he hated her playing with magick. As much as he understood her
need to 
help Buffy, he couldn't stand the thought of something happening to
her. It 
was bad enough she was involved at all, but exacerbating the situation
with 
dangerous spells was simply too great a risk. 

"Promise me you won't try that again."

"Giles," she pleaded.

"Willow."

"Giles, I know I can-"

He reached out for her hand and held it between both of his. His eyes
were 
piercing, his tone nearly desperate. "Willow, please…"

He looked so vulnerable. She hated seeing him like that. "Okay," she 
whispered.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "That's my girl."

If only, she thought wistfully. If only.

Willow smiled up at him. His relief was palpable. Their eyes met, both 
grateful and sad. A myriad of emotions passed between them in an
instant. 
Understanding and regret, hope and disappointment, love and fear.
Everything 
impossible and distinctly near… the longing of two people separated by
a 
chasm of inches. 

The kettle whistled. "Tea?" he asked pulling himself back to the
present.

"Sure."

He squeezed her hand and went into the kitchen.

Willow sighed. She hated lying to him, but this was just too important.
If it 
could help save Buffy or Xander… or Giles, it was worth it.

And after all, if he didn't know, he couldn't worry. Right?

tbc...

Part 3