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Who Am I? - ( Translation by Published by |
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INTRODUCTION "Who am I?" is
the title given to a set of questions and answers bearing on Self-enquiry.
The questions were put to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi by one Sri M. Sivaprakasam Pillai about the
year 1902. Sri Pillai, a graduate in Philosophy,
was at the time employed in the Revenue Department of the South Arcot Collectorate. During his
visit to Tiruvannamalai in 1902 on official work,
he went to Along with Vicharasangraham (Self-Enquiry), Nan Yar
(Who am I?) constitutes the first set of instructions in the Master's own
words. These two are the only prose-pieces among Bhagavan's
Works. They clearly set forth the central teaching that the direct path to
liberation is Self-enquiry. The particular mode in which the enquiry is to be
made is lucidly set forth in Nan Yar. The mind
consists of thoughts. The 'I' thought is the first to arise in the mind. When
the enquiry ' Who am I?' is persistently pursued, all other thoughts get
destroyed, and finally the 'I' thought itself vanishes leaving the supreme
non-dual Self alone. The false identification of the Self with the phenomena
of non-self such as the body and mind thus ends, and there is illumination, Sakshatkara. The process of enquiry of course, is not an
easy one. As one enquires 'Who am I?', other
thoughts will arise; but as these arise, one should not yield to them by
following them , on the contrary, one should ask 'To whom do they arise ?' In
order to do this, one has to be extremely vigilant. Through constant enquiry
one should make the mind stay in its source, without allowing it to wander
away and get lost in the mazes of thought created by itself. All other
disciplines such as breath-control and meditation on the forms of God should
be regarded as auxiliary practices. They are useful in so far as they help
the mind to become quiescent and one-pointed. For the mind that has
gained skill in concentration, Self-enquiry becomes comparatively easy. It is
by ceaseless enquiry that the thoughts are destroyed and the Self realized -
the plenary Reality in which there is not even the 'I' thought, the
experience which is referred to as "Silence". This, in substance, is Bhagavan
Sri Ramana Maharshi's
teaching in Nan Yar (Who am I?).
As all living beings
desire to be happy always, without misery, as in the case of everyone there
is observed supreme love for one's self, and as happiness alone is the cause
for love, in order to gain that happiness which is one's nature and which is
experienced in the state of deep sleep where there is no mind, one should
know one's self. For that, the path of knowledge, the inquiry of the form
"Who am I?", is the principal means. 1 . Who am I ? The gross body which is
composed of the seven humours (dhatus),
I am not; the five cognitive sense organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch,
sight, taste, and smell, which apprehend their respective objects, viz.
sound, touch, colour, taste, and odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense-organs, viz.
the organs of speech, locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which
have as their respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and
enjoying, I am not; the five vital airs, prana,
etc., which perform respectively the five functions of in-breathing, etc., I
am not; even the mind which thinks, I am not; the nescience too, which is
endowed only with the residual impressions of objects, and in which there are
no objects and no functioning's, I am not. 2. If I am none of these, then who am I? After negating all of the above-mentioned as 'not
this', 'not this', that Awareness which alone remains - that I am. 3. What is the nature of Awareness? The nature of Awareness is
existence-consciousness-bliss 4. When will the realization of the Self be
gained? When the world which is what-is-seen has been
removed, there will be realization of the Self which is the seer. 5. Will there not be realization of the Self even
while the world is there (taken as real)? There will not be. 6. Why? The seer and the object
seen are like the rope and the snake. Just as the knowledge of the rope which
is the substrate will not arise unless the false knowledge of the illusory
serpent goes, so the realization of the Self which is the substrate will not
be gained unless the belief that the world is real is removed. 7. When will the world which is the object seen
be removed? When the mind, which is the cause of all cognition's
and of all actions, becomes quiescent, the world will disappear. 8. What is the nature of the mind? What is called 'mind' is a
wondrous power residing in the Self. It causes all thoughts to arise. Apart
from thoughts, there is no such thing as mind. Therefore, thought is the
nature of mind. Apart from thoughts, there is no independent entity called
the world. In deep sleep there are no thoughts, and there is no world. In the
states of waking and dream, there are thoughts, and there is a world also.
Just as the spider emits the thread (of the web) out of itself and again
withdraws it into itself, likewise the mind projects the world out of itself
and again resolves it into itself. When the mind comes out of the Self, the
world appears. Therefore, when the world appears (to be real), the Self does
not appear; and when the Self appears (shines) the world does not appear.
When one persistently inquires into the nature of the mind, the mind will end
leaving the Self (as the residue). What is referred to as the Self is the
Atman. The mind always exists only in dependence on something gross; it
cannot stay alone. It is the mind that is called the subtle body or the soul
(jiva). 9. What is the path of inquiry for understanding
the nature of the mind? That which rises as 'I' in
this body is the mind. If one inquires as to where in the body the thought
'I' rises first, one would discover that it rises in the heart. That is the
place of the mind's origin. Even if one thinks constantly 'I' 'I', one will be led to that place. Of all the thoughts
that arise in the mind, the 'I' thought is the first. It is only after the
rise of this that the other thoughts arise. It is after the appearance of the
first personal pronoun that the second and third personal pronouns appear;
without the first personal pronoun there will not be the second and third. 10. How will the mind become quiescent? By the inquiry 'Who am I?'. The thought 'who am I?' will destroy all other
thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will
itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise
Self-realization. 11. What is the means for constantly holding on
to the thought 'Who am I?' When other thoughts arise,
one should not pursue them, but should inquire: 'To whom do they arise?' It
does not matter how many thoughts arise. As each thought arises, one should
inquire with diligence, "To whom has this thought arisen?". The answer that would emerge would be "To
me". Thereupon if one inquires "Who am I?",
the mind will go back to its source; and the thought that arose will become
quiescent. With repeated practice in this manner, the mind will develop the
skill to stay in its source. When the mind that is subtle goes out through
the brain and the sense-organs, the gross names and forms appear; when it
stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called
"inwardness" (antar-mukha). Letting the
mind go out of the Heart is known as "externalisation"
(bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays in the
Heart, the 'I' which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the Self
which ever exists will shine. Whatever one does, one should do without the egoity "I". If one acts in that way, all will
appear as of the nature of Siva (God). 12. Are there no other means for making the mind
quiescent? Other than inquiry, there
are no adequate means. If through other means it is sought to control the
mind, the mind will appear to be controlled, but will again go forth. Through
the control of breath also, the mind will become quiescent; but it will be
quiescent only so long as the breath remains controlled, and when the breath
resumes the mind also will again start moving and will wander as impelled by
residual impressions. The source is the same for both mind and breath.
Thought, indeed, is the nature of the mind. The thought "I" is the
first thought of the mind; and that is egoity. It
is from that whence egoity originates that breath
also originates. Therefore, when the mind becomes quiescent, the breath is
controlled, and when the breath is controlled the mind becomes quiescent. But
in deep sleep, although the mind becomes quiescent, the breath does not stop.
This is because of the will of God, so that the body may be preserved and
other people may not be under the impression that it is dead. In the state of
waking and in samadhi, when the mind becomes
quiescent the breath is controlled. Breath is the gross form of mind. Till
the time of death, the mind keeps breath in the body; and when the body dies
the mind takes the breath along with it. Therefore, the exercise of
breath-control is only an aid for rendering the mind quiescent (manonigraha); it will not destroy the mind (manonasa). Like the practice of
breath-control. meditation on the forms of God, repetition of mantras,
restriction on food, etc., are but aids for rendering the mind quiescent. Through meditation on the
forms of God and through repetition of mantras, the mind becomes one-pointed.
The mind will always be wandering. Just as when a chain is given to an
elephant to hold in its trunk it will go along grasping the chain and nothing
else, so also when the mind is occupied with a name or form it will grasp
that alone. When the mind expands in the form of countless thoughts, each
thought becomes weak; but as thoughts get resolved the mind becomes
one-pointed and strong; for such a mind Self-inquiry will become easy. Of all
the restrictive rules, that relating to the taking of sattvic
food in moderate quantities is the best; by observing this rule, the sattvic quality of mind will increase, and that will be
helpful to Self-inquiry. 13. The residual impressions (thoughts) of
objects appear wending like the waves of an ocean. When will all of them get
destroyed? As the meditation on the
Self rises higher and higher, the thoughts will get destroyed. 14. Is it possible for the residual impressions
of objects that come from beginningless time, as it
were, to be resolved, and for one to remain as the pure Self? Without yielding to the
doubt "Is it possible, or not?", one
should persistently hold on to the meditation on the Self. Even if one be a
great sinner, one should not worry and weep "O! I am a sinner, how can I
be saved?"; one should completely renounce the
thought "I am a sinner"; and concentrate keenly on meditation on
the Self; then, one would surely succeed. There are not two minds - one good
and the other evil; the mind is only one. It is the residual impressions that
are of two kinds - auspicious and inauspicious. When the mind is under the
influence of auspicious impressions it is called good; and when it is under
the influence of inauspicious impressions it is regarded as evil. The mind should not be
allowed to wander towards worldly objects and what concerns other people.
However bad other people may be, one should bear no hatred for them. Both
desire and hatred should be eschewed. All that one
gives to others one gives to one's self. If this truth is understood who will
not give to others? When one's self arises all arises; when one's self
becomes quiescent all becomes quiescent. To the extent we behave with
humility, to that extent there will result good. If the mind is rendered
quiescent, one may live anywhere. 15. How long should inquiry be
practised? As long as there are
impressions of objects in the mind, so long the inquiry "Who am I?"
is required. As thoughts arise they should be destroyed then and there in the
very place of their origin, through inquiry. If one resorts to contemplation
of the Self unintermittently, until the Self is
gained, that alone would do. As long as there are enemies within the
fortress, they will continue to sally forth; if they are destroyed as they
emerge, the fortress will fall into our hands. 16. What is the nature of the Self? What exists in truth is
the Self alone. The world, the individual soul, and God are appearances in
it. like silver in mother-of-pearl, these three
appear at the same time, and disappear at the same time. The Self is that where
there is absolutely no "I" thought. That is called
"Silence". The Self itself is the world; the Self itself is
"I"; the Self itself is God; all is Siva, the Self. 17. Is not everything the work of God? Without desire, resolve,
or effort, the sun rises; and in its mere presence, the sun-stone emits fire,
the lotus blooms, water evaporates; people perform their various functions
and then rest. Just as in the presence of the magnet the needle moves, it is
by virtue of the mere presence of God that the souls governed by the three
(cosmic) functions or the fivefold divine activity perform their actions and
then rest, in accordance with their respective karmas. God has no resolve; no
karma attaches itself to Him. That is like worldly actions not affecting the
sun, or like the merits and demerits of the other four elements not affecting
all pervading space. 18. Of the devotees, who is the greatest? He who gives himself up to
the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one's self up to
God means remaining constantly in the Self without giving room for the rise
of any thoughts other than that of the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on
God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why
should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves
with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done
and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it
why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead
of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease? 19. What is non-attachment? As thoughts arise,
destroying them utterly without any residue in the very place of their origin
is non-attachment. Just as the pearl-diver ties a stone to his waist, sinks
to the bottom of the sea and there takes the pearls, so each one of us should
be endowed with non-attachment, dive within oneself and obtain the
Self-Pearl. 20. Is it not possible for God and the Guru to effect the release of a soul? God and the Guru will only
show the way to release; they will not by themselves take the soul to the
state of release. In truth, God and the Guru are not different. Just as the
prey which has fallen into the jaws of a tiger has no escape, so those who
have come within the ambit of the Guru's gracious look will be saved by the
Guru and will not get lost; yet, each one should by his own effort pursue the
path shown by God or Guru and gain release. One can know oneself only with
one's own eye of knowledge, and not with somebody else's. Does he who is Rama require the help of a mirror to know that he is Rama? 21. Is it necessary for one who longs for release
to inquire into the nature of categories (tattvas)? Just as one who wants to
throw away garbage has no need to analyse it and
see what it is, so one who wants to know the Self has no need to count the
number of categories or inquire into their characteristics; what he has to do
is to reject altogether the categories that hide the Self. The world should
be considered like a dream. 22. Is there no difference between waking and
dream? Waking is long and a dream
short; other than this there is no difference. Just as waking happenings seem
real while awake. so do those in a dream while
dreaming. In dream the mind takes on another body. In both waking and dream
states thoughts. names and forms occur
simultaneously. 23. Is it any use reading books for those who
long for release? All the texts say that in
order to gain release one should render the mind quiescent; therefore their
conclusive teaching is that the mind should be rendered quiescent; once this
has been understood there is no need for endless reading. In order to quieten the mind one has only to inquire within oneself
what one's Self is; how could this search be done in books? One should know
one's Self with one's own eye of wisdom. The Self is within the five sheaths;
but books are outside them. Since the Self has to be inquired into by
discarding the five sheaths, it is futile to search for it in books. There will
come a time when one will have to forget all that one has learned. 24. What is happiness? Happiness is the very
nature of the Self; happiness and the Self are not different. There is no
happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that
we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences
misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place
and enjoys the happiness that is the Self. Similarly, in the states of sleep,
samadhi and fainting, and when the object desired
is obtained or the object disliked is removed, the mind becomes
inward-turned, and enjoys pure Self-Happiness. Thus the mind moves without
rest alternately going out of the Self and returning to it. Under the tree
the shade is pleasant; out in the open the heat is scorching. A person who
has been going about in the sun feels cool when he reaches the shade. Someone
who keeps on going from the shade into the sun and then back into the shade
is a fool. A wise man stays permanently in the shade. Similarly, the mind of
the one who knows the truth does not leave Brahman. The mind of the ignorant,
on the contrary, revolves in the world, feeling miserable, and for a little
time returns to Brahman to experience happiness. In fact, what is called the
world is only thought. When the world disappears, i.e. when there is no
thought, the mind experiences happiness; and when the world appears, it goes
through misery. 25. What is wisdom-insight (jnana-drsti)?
Remaining quiet is what is
called wisdom-insight. To remain quiet is to resolve the mind in the Self.
Telepathy, knowing past, present and future happenings and clairvoyance do
not constitute wisdom-insight. 26. What is the relation between desirelessness and wisdom? Desirelessness is wisdom. The two are not different; they are the
same. Desirelessness is refraining from turning the
mind towards any object. Wisdom means the appearance of no object. In other
words, not seeking what is other than the Self is detachment or desirelessness; not leaving the Self is wisdom. 27. What is the difference between inquiry and
meditation? Inquiry consists in
retaining the mind in the Self. Meditation consists in thinking that one's
self is Brahman, existence-consciousness-bliss. 28. What is release? Inquiring into the nature
of one's self that is in bondage, and realising
one's true nature is release. SRI RAMANARPANAM ASTU |