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Poems by Melkor
Admin Hide and Seek bad and hilarious enough for its own page!
Design docs are not
Updated when the user
Changes specs again.
-
Test cases need to
Be updated again since
User is a
twit
For Whom the Grue Eats
No grue is an island
Entire of itself
Each is a tooth of the gaping maw
A part of the mouth
If a morsal fall away from the jaw
The stomach has less.
As well as if a juicy torso were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death increases me,
For I am involved in looting.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the grue eats,
It eats for me.
An unsuspecting Shillan took a nap
Where catching 40 winks was a trap
He died of fright
At the ghastly sight
Of
the Warlock in a sailors cap.
Spells and swords and bows
They need to be equal paths
to gain victory.
We have no past we won't reach back
Keep with me forward all through the night
And once we start the meter clicks
And it goes running all through the night
Until it ends there is no end
Debunking 'leet speak
Using recursion results
In really bad puns.
Tut! The Thanksgiving turkeys tend to themselves.
-
Those tame turkeys try terribly to think they're totally
tough through taunting the trees. The trees are truly tulips.
Afraid and hiding
A wizard-to-be has lost
His precious
weapon.
-
Waiting behind trees
He looks to strike a bargain
To
fill a contract
Oh blood spangled grue,
Deepest red is thy hue!
Many
players thy have chewed
Before they can view
The glory
that is you.
-
As they gorily become food,
If only they knew,
before
they bid adieu,
the things that you do
about the right
and true.
If you validate without the clue
The tutorial you cannot do
Even without the free knife
You can increase your life
By killing crabs with your shoe
The ice palace is
full of giants, guards, and things
that hide all too well.
Shilla's pictures are all old hat
They make the game appear a bit flat
You can be our staff artist
If you try your hardest
And we like your gypsy, goblin, and bat
The question is asked:
But what is five tons of flax?
Is it shipped in sacks?
I keep a ravenous grue
Who views all the players as food.
They don't taste very good
At least not as they should
Unless dipped in ketchup before chewed.
Oh ravenous Grue!
Eater of kethup-slathered
players who walk by!
A badger was chased out with a broom
So outside his sat and he fumed
Then along came a snake
who'd been beat with a rake
And they shared a tasty mushroom.
Fast falling fatigue
forces foes to fall without
a fraught, frenzied, fight.
Phix has met his end.
Done in by a pretty elf
And a bit of lag.
Daily Failures
Oh woe is the list of failures daily pulled
All that went wrong, skimmed and culled
Pulled into a set of simple numbers
To list the worst of the user fumblers.
-
Wrong date format! On error screams loud
While other errors have to text to be found
Researching the cause is work for a team
As they pour through the triggers, procedures, and schemes.
-
No errors found, no reason is given
The research team is stymied again.
The users will try again today
And will fall overnight, again, to their dismay.
It violated the integrity constraint
Parent key cannot be found is the complaint
I checked the given table
But no parent was enabled
So I guess it was just a database feint
The Jade Box
The forges in Shilla are still quite hot
Although the coals are banked for the night
The master has gone home to lay in his bed
But the furnace still erupts with light.
-
You sneak in to see what can be made
Hoping to get an extra clue
Nothing in the open tells a tale
That means anything to you.
-
You heave a sigh and turn for the door
when something catches your eye
A box of jade labeled "Do not touch"
Sits in the rafters, so high.
-
You see no ladder, and you cannot fly
So the box remains out of reach
Until you spy an ornate, hooked pole
Used to crack crabs from the beach.
-
You use the pole and knock down the box,
Catching it before it his the floor
But the pole drops with a clamerous sound
And your eyes jerk towards the door.
-
"The guard will come", you tell yourself
As you speed away from the scene
They'll find the pole laying on the floor
And they won't find the box of green.
-
The forge master will know, you heave and sigh
As you head back to your hidey-hole
And when you come with the hint you're learned
He'll know it was you who stole.
-
Your hands tremble as you work the lock
Knowing what it holds is more precious than jewels
The latch click open, and you peer inside
And the note says: "Ha-ha, fooled you!"
Horrible and slow
Means you can react when the
Admins change odd things
---
The dark forest is
populated by elves, trolls,
and vampire bats.
---
These quests are getting
very annoying to code.
Two more to do. Drat.
---
The scowling Dwarf
is unhappy with the time
you took to return.
---
I timed out again.
No wonder this is taking
longer than I thought.
There once was an annoying questor
Who liked to dress like a jester
One day in the rain
The quest giver was slain
So the quester had no one to pester
The Newbie Sonnet
Brown in color but I cannot see
To validate is my dream
Chat is not yet available to me
And I suppress my urge to scream.
-
The admins tell me not where to go
They refer me to their FAQ
It doesn't have the data I need to know
So now it appears that I am screwed.
-
"Where to go" I ask aloud
As I search for a map to print.
I walk alone in the crowded town
Because I took the town guard's hint.
-
The southerwest corner is where it's at!
Finally, I can talk in chat!