I know I'm probably risking certain assassination by giving out our secrets 
if this is going to be posted, but guys do need to know.  And besides, it's 
not like all guys will retain this information.

Girls over the age 13/14 or so, hate Christina Aguilera/Britney Spears, and 
are also secretly jealous of them.  We're jealous of their instant fame and 
fortune, but we're sickened by the fact that Christina, while she does have a 
phenomenal voice, looks like a goddamn crackwhore who'd throw up at the sight 
of a cracker; and Britney, who has a good body but whose voice is not the 
least bit impressive and is a total hypocrite.  In one article I read, 
Britney stated that she did not dress in the midriff-baring 
cleavage-enhancing tops and lowcut pants for sex appeal, but however, "to 
deal with the sweat."  Gee, I didn't know push-up bras and thongs with 
flesh-toned pants reduced sweat.  To hell with the air conditioner, I'll just 
dress like a slut all the time!

Girls have certain a qualm about clothing.  We will change immediately if 
someone we know is wearing the exact same outfit.  See, we like to think that 
we spent all that time on picking an individualistic outfit.  It's worse at 
prom.  If we see a girl with the same dress on (the one that we spent days 
looking for, driving all across the state and going to fifteen different 
stores and taking out a second mortgage for THAT dress), we flip.  Or hide 
into the bathroom during the whole event, bawling our eyes out and running 
that oh-so perfectly applied mascara.
Myth:  Girls will not lower themselves to wearing the same shirt/pants twice 
in one week.  
So untrue, especially during college.  You think we like doing laundry?  We 
do what guys do, the sniff test and the look-over.  The girls that won't 
lower themselves to that are the clothes-horses, the ones with a lot of money 
that can afford to, or girls that like to do laundry all the time.  The only 
exception:  underwear.  We will at all costs avoid wearing the same pair of 
underwear.  Girls excrete too much fluid.

You once asked me, why is there always one fat girl in the group and that's 
the one that hits on you?
This is a complex question with many different answers.  It basically depends 
on the group of girls and the personality of the overweight girl.
Scenario one:  All of the girls are great friends, and aren't superficial and 
don't care about each other's body size.  With this in mind, here are your 
possibilities concerning this scenario:
a) All the other girls have boyfriends/girlfriends, and the chunky one just 
happens to be the only one without, and you catch her eye.  Just because 
they're overweight, doesn't mean that they don't have a decent taste in guys.
b) All the other girls are shy, and the chunky girl happens to be the most 
out-going.  They could've ALL been eyeing you up, but she's got balls.
c) The chunky girl spots you first, and the rest encourage her to go for it.
d) It could've been a big joke.  They might all think you're a dork.

Scenario two (and the cruel one):  You may have just encountered the 
superficial group of Ambercrombie&Fitch and/or Gap girls.  The chunky girl is 
allowed to accompany them because:
a) She's someone cousin and the girl was forced to bring her along.
b) She's one of the girls friend who was alone and they felt sort of bad and 
figured they could "care less" whether or not she tagged along, as long as 
she didn't hinder their boy-picking up activities.
c)  She's sort of a friend -- a friend enough because she's the only one with 
a car and/or license to drive them to the mall.
d)  They keep her around because her overweight problem makes them feel good.
**There are undoubtedly a plethera of other answers, but these are the ones I 
can think of off the top of my head.**
So why is she the one hitting on you in the midst of all those princesses?
a)  She has taste and would like to get to know you.
b)  Maybe she thinks, that in the presence of these princesses, she may have 
a chance.
c)  They all secretly like you, but the chunky one is the one with the most 
guts (or the girls are so stuck-up, they're trying to keep it secret)
d)  They're all cruel, and it was just a joke.
The second scenario sounds really cruel, and it's not the case all the time, 
but there are girls like that.  Unfortunately.


Girls expect punctuality from guys.  This includes being picked up, being met 
somewhere, and being called.  Girls like actual times and absolutely hate the 
phrase "in a little bit."  In my experience, "in a bit" means everything from 
a few minutes to a couple of hours.  I kid you not.  To most girls, "in a 
bit" refers to the former.  Do NOT tell a girl that you will call her right 
back, and then call an hour or two later, unless you have a DAMN good excuse. 
 And "I couldn't find a save point" is not a good excuse, because we know 
damn well that most to every game (PC and video game consoles) has a pause 
function.  Some of us DO play video games.  Bottom line: It's like school:  
the only acceptable excuses are severe illness, freak accident, or death in 
the family.  And by all means, do NOT say that you "forgot."  That's like 
instant death.

Girls have secret friendship laws that shall NOT be infringed upon.  1.  A 
girl may NOT steal her best friend's interest.  One of my good friends, "M" 
had a crush on this boy "D" for years.  The only person that knew about this 
crush was her bestfriend "L."  One night, they were all at a party, and "M" 
noticed that "D" was checking out "L," and pointed it out to her.  All of a 
sudden, "L" took up an interest in "D", and by the end of the week, the two 
were going out.  "L" should be put to death.
2.  A girl may only go out with her friend's ex after she asks permission and 
after a suitable period of time has gone by.  And no, a week is not a 
suitable period.

After you piss off a girl, do NOT attempt to cuddle her.  AT ALL.  Let her 
chill out for a while, but don't leave her alone completely.  If you try and 
smother her to make up for it, she'll know that you're only doing it because 
she's mad, and not on your own free will.  If you leave her alone completely, 
that'll make it seem like what you did was nothing (it could've been nothing) 
and will piss her off even more.

Some girls are clingy and some are the exact opposite.  Try and find out 
early in the relationship.

Pay attention to your girlfriend andher behavior.  She doesn't like having to 
tell her man all the time why/how he upset her and whatnot.  We expect you 
guys to know after a while, and if you keep making the same mistake and we 
ARE telling you, don't expect us to be happy and ready to put out for a long 
time.


well, that's it for now.  i'm sure there's more, but i can't think off the 
top of my head.  it may help if you have specific questions for me that i can 
answer.  other than that, that's all for the time being.  

jacks