Legal stuff: I don't own any characters on this story except
for Jacob, kJ and THE DUCK
for I did I wouldn't be writing this I would be spending my 'LOTSAMONEY'
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GOTH SLICED OR BOILED?
The morning was bright and sunny, the sun shined down on the citizens of the Tex community as they went about their daily business, milkmen delivering milk, shop owners selling their goods to their many customers, kids walking to school and of course cops patrolling the streets keep them safe for the citizens or so the pretence was.
All the people round here knew that the Tex police department was the most corrupt police force in the whole of Wutai regularly taking bribes to look the other way or even to assist in crimes, and this was the catalyst for the appearance of many organised criminal gangs who frequently robbed banks, ran 'Pleasure house' and shipped huge illegal amounts of drugs……all under the noses of the everyday civilians and the law was powerless to help, and today would be no different, apart form the fact that people would making an early retirement to their graves, which was not really that rare.
And contributing to the already towering number of crimes would the
occupants of a
non-descript ,54 Tomoku with a band new lick of Tony George's TM. finest
black paint.
One of the two men sitting comfortably in the slick leather seats was wearing a very posh-looking tux with matching trousers and smoking a very fine-looking king-sized cigar and wearing a pair of shades from the very expensive department store Jays TM. his features where very smooth but well defined, which seemed to contradict each other until the on looker noticed the small tub of Smooth Joe's TM. face cream sitting on the dashboard next to a packet of Wutai fries soaked in soy sauce.
The second figure was quite different in almost every way, anybody saying he looked smart deserved to have their head blown-off and served up as a burger with Wutai fries and a soda…..as was often the case at the gang run McChing's TM., he wore a black T-shirt with blue jeans and a pair of sneakers, his face wasn't as well-defined as his partner's but it wasn't as bad as to say he had been hit in the head with a frying pan, he was chewing some gum as he drove the car smoothly down the road.
'God I hate these missions' stated the smart one while inspecting a pair of opera tickets.
'would you stop fucking saying that' replied the other one annoyed 'you've said that a million goddamn times'.
'well I'll said it how ever many times I bloody like' replied the smarter-looking one. 'Jacob Tilsten doesn't have to take that kinda abuse. ' added the smarter-looking one.
' I know, I know' groaned his partner 'but kJ Samson doesn't have to take THAT kinda abuse' Samson smartly replied
'That my homeboy!' replied Jacob joking which kJ couldn't help but smile at that 'don't take no disrespect from nobody, not even your big fat Butt ugly Momma!' replied Jacob
'Tell you what……. You can switch on the radio and then of us will have to talk, sound good?' asked kJ
'sound good to me home boy!' replied Jacob in his best accent
kJ switched on the radio and messed about with the buttons until he found a radio station which he though was okay, and then at full volume the radio blared:
'you built me up with your wishing hell
I didn't have to sell you
threw your money in the pissing well
you do just what they tell you '
'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?' Shouted Jacob completely disgusted by the song
' I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S FROM THE GODDAMN GUTTER' screamed kJ as he switched it off.
'Dear god now that was bad, worse than your momma singing with a frog in her throat, homeboy' quoted Jacob
'looks like it was on Goth FM' stated kJ
'lousy goddamn Goth's I'm a religious man' replied Jacob
'wait a minute' kJ looked at his map and nodded 'seems like that came from 4th Street'
'that's just around the corner……….excellent' Jacob grinned
'so?' kJ questioned
'Uzi and hand grenades are in the trunk' Jacob had a glint in his eye
'Aren't we supposed to save the ammo and grenades' asked kJ
'well I want to see those Goths burn!' stated Jacob
'alright' sighed kJ
As the car drove round the corner kJ prepped himself by first limbering up his fingers and his neck much to the disgust of Jacob
'would you stop goddamn doing that' shouted Jacob
'what?!' kJ pretended to not know
'limbering your goddamn fingers' Jacob pointed out
'so? It's how I get ready' replied kJ innocently
'alright fine! I'll do the hit' coincided Jacob
'heheheh' sniggered kJ
As the car pulled up to the Goth radio station Jacob stepped out and went round to the trunk and fetched the Mac-10 Uzi and the two MK2 hand grenades from under the cover, taking care not to get seen when he was loading the Uzi and taking the safely packets off the grenades which when they were left off tended to catch and blow up the car…….which was bad.
'Well'
Jacob muttered to himself
'I never though I was going to spend today blowing up a radio station'
he glanced at the opera tickets
'well my wife is going to kill me'
he quoted as he dropped the tickets into the gutter knowing he didn't have time for the opera
he walked calmly into the radio station with the grenades in his pockets
and the Uzi under his tux which he had placed on his arm to hide the Uzi.
The radio station wasn't like the ones he visited before, professional
was the last word you would use to describe this place, they had posted
all over the walls proclaiming tons of things, the death of religion, fall
of the government, blood rituals and of course heavy, heavy rock music
which was a trademark of the Goths apart from the piercings of course.
He was walking along when a woman about 18 bumped into him on purpose and when she turned round her face remained Jacob of Bob's scrap metal palace.
'Hey were the hell you going? you square!' demanded the Goth-like creature
As most people in the gangs knew the only person would ever called him that had ended up with melted eyeballs and was currently living on the bottom of the river with some brand new concrete shoes.
'what did you say?' asked Jacob as nicely as he could
'I said SQUARE!! You ASSHOLE!!'
'NO-ONE DISRESPECTS JACOB TILSEN LIKE THAT!!'
Just as he was saying that he whipped out the Uzi, took the safety catch off and pressed the trigger sending 12 bullets into the woman sending her flying across the room and though the studio window.
'So much for stealth' Jacob stated
Then he took hold off the barrel with his other hand and started spraying the studio with a burst of machine gun rounds hitting various members of the studio crew and presenters in the process, and just to finish the job he took hold off one of the grenades and flicked off the priming device waited 3 seconds and tossed the grenade into the studio before taking cover behind the chair.
'BOOM!!' was the next sound he heard as the grenade went off.
as he stood up he noticed that the Mac-10 clip was empty and he had forgotten to take another clip along with him
'Damn!' he muttered to himself as he flicked the knife out of it's cover in case people still were alive down there.
As he walked forward to inspect, he heard the worse sound today of a gun being cocked behind him
'GET YOUR HANDS UP!!'
he turned around to see a fat man with a big beard in a vest aiming a rifle in his direction
'I SAID GET YOUR HANDS UP YOU SON OF A-'
'K! K! I heard you the first time' Jacob interrupted
'alright…..WHY THE HELL DID YOU BLOW UP MY RADIO STATION!?'
'I didn't like the music' Jacob responded confidently
'WHAT SORT OF GODDAMN REASON IS THAT!? Shouted the fat guy getting more angry as this conversion went on
'err…..it's A reason not a GODDAMN reason' pointed out Jacob
'THAT'S IT YOU SON OF A-'
'Hey are you going to do something or you gonna just stand there and empty hot air at me' Jacob asked
'well first put down the knife and then something will happen!' demanded the fat man
'Okay' obeyed Jacob but as he dropped the knife the sound of a vase falling over distracted the guy
'what the-'
This was the chance Jacob had been waiting for, in a blink of an eye he flicked his wrists and out of his sleeves two Colt .45's slid out and straight into his hands ready for firing, Jacob smiled not just because he had the upper hand but this was the first time this had worked without him firing rounds into his arm mistakenly.
'Hey! Fat-dude! There a lead sandwich with your name on it!' quoted Jacob
the fat guy turned around and the last things he saw was two guns pointed at him and a grinning man
'BANG!!' went the guns as they unloaded 24 bullets into his thick squishy torso until he finally fell over at the sheer volume of bullets hitting him.
'no-one points a gun at me and gets away with it' Jacob shouted as he ran out the door heading for the car.
Jacob ran as fast as he could with the rifle he had picked up, his two pistols, the Mac-10 and a hand grenade and as he reached the car he put the rifle and the Mac-10 in the boot and the grenade in the safety packet and quickly lobbed his colts in there as well.
'God I hate these missions' he muttered to himself as he jumped into the passengers seat
'GO! GO! GO!' Shouted Jacob
'aye, aye skipper!' kJ responded as the car types screeched and the
car sped off in to the distance.
GUBFIGHTS SOLVE EVERYTHING
'so what do they call a 'McChing burger' in Costa Del sol?' Questioned kJ
'They call it a Beach burger delight'
'kewl'
'you know what else is cool'
'what?'
'All those beach babes'
'wicked'
'so what's next today?'
'umm we have to pay the Turks a little 'visit' grinned Jacob
'alright what weapons we got left?'
'errr the revolvers, the shotgun and a clip left for the Uzi plus the rifle and a hand grenade'
'not bad!'
'alright' Jacob said as he looked out the window, he was looking with minimal interest at the people outside as they went about their daily business, but what caught Jacob's eye was not Miss. Green as she tried desperately to keep her pet snake from eating her beloved puppy "Ben"
'well, well, well' exclaimed Jacob 'if it isn't "THE DUCK", boy he looks bad'
he was referring to the ragged looking figure who was trying his best to blend into the crowd but this only made him stand out more as most of the crowd wore crew cuts or neat-looking hair styles.
'is the hit on him still on?'
'yup it certainly is' smiled Jacob
'alright!!' kJ nearly shouted as he swung the car around back into the direction of the Canadian hoping that he get a shot at the infamous Canadian who had robbed in board daylight several of the gang-run McChings and was going to pay the price heavily until kJ noticed he had protection.
'Hey the guy's with the TURKS' obseverd kJ
'well as my dad said when he found out his neighbour was stealing from him "two birds with one stone" or in that case one rifle' Jacob said under-his breath
Jacob waited till the TURKS were right near the car and then quickly whispered to kJ 'stop the car'
kJ complied and the came to a gradual stop just up the road to where the TURKS were moving to
'alright stay here and I get the guns' Jacob ordered
'k' replied kJ
Moving as fast as he could Jacob ferried the shotgun and the Uzi into the front two seats placed the Uzi under his tux and put the shotgun under kJ's seat
'right when I give the word you open fire on them and aim for Rude and Reno I'll aim for the rest'
'you sure you're going to be able to get THE DUCK and Elena before they run off?' asked kJ
'now that's a stupid question I got the Uzi'
'fine' responded kJ
as they waited kJ double checked his revolver and made sure he was seated low as not to get in Jacob's firing line
just as kJ was getting bored the blonde hair of Elena suddenly popped up close to his car and was walking past
'now!' Whispered Jacob
'excuse me miss' asked kJ
'err….yes?' responded Elena sounding unsure of herself
'do you know where Jim's donuts are on this 'ere map?'
'Elena looked around nervously before answering 'err….okay! 'chirped Elena sounding more confident all of a sudden
just as Elena was about to get close enough to see the map Jacob nudged kJ
'oh and a another thing miss' added kJ as he reached for the shotgun
'what's that?'
kJ whipped the shotgun out and with one hand pointed it at Elena 'goodbye'
the last expression on Elena face was a look of horror before the shotgun fired hitting her in the torso sending her flying into the café smashing the windows and finally coming to rest at the foot of the counter
'what the-' Reno was interrupted by a blast of Jacob's Uzi hitting him square in the chest
'oh goddamn it!! shouted Reno as he let loose a couple of rounds before diving behind the table in the café
'Oh shit!' THE DUCK shouted as another shotgun round hit him in the shoulder sending him spinning towards the ground hitting it so hard it killed him
'Eat this you son of a-' Reno was interrupted as a burst of Mac-10 hit the table sending wood chips flying everywhere
Jacob jumped out of the car and crouched underneath the boot for a better position 'fight like a man you TURKEY!!!' he shouted
at this Reno jumped up and was hit by another blast of Bullets sending him reeling from it and falling into a bin with his legs hanging out
'go see if the bitch is dead' Jacob ordered to kJ while checking Rude's pulse and finding it dead
kJ ran into the café as hundreds off bystanders ether dived for cover or ran in the nearest available direction
as kJ looked around the café he was confronted with the sight of Elena cutching her chest as blood streamed out of it, and what made kJ think again was the tears streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed uncontrollably.
'please' she sniffed please….help….me
and without thinking he got a cloth wrapped it around his hand which he pressed against her chest which stopped a lot of blood pouring out and this was happening Jacob looked on
He had never thought kJ would make a Hitman, sure he had killed THE DUCK but that was easy, THE DUCK was just a lowlife and that made it a lot easier but Elena wasn't really TURK material, she was just a girl that had wanted to make big things in her life and to show her parents she was something more than a good receptionist.
As he though about this and remembered the Intel he had read he picked
up a phone dialled 999 and then asked for ambulance, he gave the address
and then walked slowly into the car before driving off.
PLEASE SAY IT ENDS!!
kJ sat in his apartment reading the morning paper as he had done every morning since last year when he formally quit the Hitman profession, when he heard the doorbell ring
'lousy postman' kJ grumbled as he lifted himself off the comfy chair and drank the last off his coffee
as he opened the door a flood of memories came back to him…..it was Elena
'hello grumpy shoes!' chirped Elena in that delightful tone
'grumpy shoes?' asked kJ as he looked at his shoes in an attempt to be comical
'you know what I mean' giggled Elena as she walked into his flat wearing a jeans and T-shirt combo
'Cosy place you got here' complemented Elena as she walked around his flat letting her hands glide over all the surfaces
'so what brings you here?' asked kJ
'well my TURK pension kinda ran out and I was looking for a place to stay' replied Elena making puppy dog eyes at kJ
'ack! Not the puppies eyes!' replied kJ laughing
'pleaseeeee' asked Elena
'oh alright' smiled kJ 'but you have got to help me with my work'
'what do you?' smiled Elena back
'washing machine salesmen' answered kJ blushing
Elena tried unsuccessfully to hold back her giggling
'hey! It pays well with all these dodgy washing machines'
'it does?' asked Elena
'yup and I'm top salesmen at the moment'
'kewl' replied Elena as she sat down on the couch to watch her favourite soap 'suds r us'
'I know' added kJ as he collapsed on the sofa giving Elena a great big hug
and outside the flat on the building opposite a dove cooed,
before being eaten by a cat.
FIN
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Authors note: So what da you think? Good? Bad? Stupid? Author
needs to be killed?
So I'm going to R&R on a beach somewhere ^_^
while you R&R my story.