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Listen to the words of the Great Beeotch she who of old is known as
Arwen, Inanna, Jaz, Kriselda, Lynna, Raven, Suzi, and Wolfrose, and by
many other names, some best left censored:
Whenever you have need of anything once in the month, and better it be
when it is not my moontime or any other time when I might be tired or
already irritable, then shall you gather and adore me, who am Queen of
all Bitches. There shall you gather, you who desire to learn the true
Art of Bitchcraft, yet have not honed it to razor sharp precision; to
these I will teach the esoterism of true bitchiness. And you shall be
free from fluff; and as a sign that you are truly free, you shall cite
tradition, correct misconception, bad grammar, spelling errors, and
demand proper capitalization, and punctuation. For I am educated and
can read above third grade level. Keep pure your highest ideal;
strive ever towards it and if anyone tries to stop you, smack them
hard upside the head. For mine is the determination to succeed and
educate the ignorant.
I am the Queen Mother Bitch, Who can give the Gift of Joy unto the
heart
of man or woman if you have not seriously ticked me off. On Earth, I
give the Knowledge that to communicate effectively and honestly is no
crime; and beyond death, I give peace from the fools who have annoyed
you and freedom from those fools and reunion with other great Bitches
who have gone before you. And actually, I do demand sacrifice, for
behold; Putting up with these twits wears on my nerves. I am the Bitch
of All Living and My Ire is poured out upon the Earth when I am
grumpy.
Hear ye the Words of the Star Goddess: She under Whose Feet all stupid
people are Dust, Whose Body encircleth the Universe especially when
She is bloated.
I, Who am the Bitch Queen of the Earth and the Black Mood amongst the
Stars, and the Mystery of why idiots are not drowned in my Waters, and
the Desire of the heart of man to avoid Me when I get like this. I
call unto thy soul, all ye who would be Bitches: "Arise! And come
unto Me!"
For I am the Soul of the Bitch, Who giveth Crap back to the Universe:
from Me all things proceed, and unto Me all things must return and if
they don't get here fast enough, I may hurt something. And before My
Face, which is bitchy and known to all gods and men, thine innermost
Bitch Self shall be enfolded in the Rapture of the Infinite Bitch.
Let My Worship be within the heart that tolerates no shit, for behold:
all acts of bitchiness and honesty are my rituals. And therefore let
there be bitching and strength, honesty and compassion, honor and
humor, mirth and reverence within you.
And thou who thinkest to seek for Me, know thy seeking and yearning
shall avail thee not, unless thou knowest the Mystery: that if thou
arestupid who seekest Me, then thou shalt never find Me.
For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am That
which is attained at the end of PMS.
Copyright © 2001 Arwen Nightstar and Gwen Wolfrose, all rights reserved. May be reposted anywhere so long as this copyright is included. |
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