Application for Permission to
Date My Daughter

NOTE:  This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and current medical report from your doctor.  All questions below must be answered.

Name:  Date of birth:

Height:    Weight:    IQ:

GPA:    Social Security Number:  

Drivers License Number:  

Boy Scout Rank:    Number of Badges:  

Address:
Street:  
City:    State:    Zip:  

Do you have ONE male and One female parent? Yes   No
If No, explain:  

Number of years parents have been married:  
If less than your age, explain:  

Do you own:
 a van?  
A truck with oversized tires?  
A waterbed?
A pickup with a mattress in the back?  

Do you have:
An earring, nose ring or a belly button ring?   Yes   No
A tattoo?   Yes   No
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

Church you attend:  
How often?:  

Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.  (that means I won't tell anyone EVER)

  1. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be
  2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
  3. A woman's place is in the
  4. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
  5. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is

Notice:  If answer 5. begins with T or A, discontinue.  Leave now while keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

What is the going rate for a hotel room?  

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT-TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.

Sign by selecting Yes:   Yes   No

      

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow 16 to 18 years for processing.  You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not try to call, write or email (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).  If your application is rejected, you will be notified by TWO GENTLEMEN WEARING WHITE TIES AND CARRYING VIOLIN CASES.

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