Moose Berry Pie
By, Duane Wheeler
Cowboys had an unusual way of selecting the cook on a Long Trail drive...
Who ever offered a complaint....about the food served, became COOK!
So it was that around the fire one night a cowboy bit down on a "bean"
and broke his tooth clean off...and mummered, "Ouch!"
"What's that! A COMPLAINT?" said the tired Buckaroo... "You COMPLAIN'N?"
"No...but I didn't know yur Beans could bite!"
"THAT"S IT! You DO IT!"
and so the title of Cowboy Cookie was transfered to another helpless cowpoke.
Time went on..and the new cook didn't like his job at all, not one bit,
yes-sir-ree-bob! He'd have to get up before everyone else to make
Cowboy Coffee...
and, stay up wash'n the tin plates in a bucket...and he was gett'n dish
pan hands! NO WAY!
He tried cook'n up "Pine floats" and "Grass soup" and no matter what he
"cooked" NO ONE WOULD SAY A WORD!
He tried MOOSE NOSE JELLEY w/o pick'n all the hair out, and still no
complaints...the cowboys simply munched away... for no one wanted the job.
During the day, Cookie came upon some "Moose Sign"....
as he drove the chuckwagon accross the plains...he stopped to water
his team, right by a BIG FRESH PILE OF..."Moose Berries!"
suddenly a scheam hatched in his mind....
He got a board and carefully scooted the pile into a piepan, and later
that day stopped and built a big fire to do some "Baking"...
He went to a lot of effort on the crust for this was his one chance and
he wanted out! He made the "Pie" with a criss-cross basket weave pattern,
and decorated the edge with little "puckers"...
He had a LOT of "Fix'ns" left over..so, He made enough for everyone to
have there fill! hehehe....
Later, at dinner time the "Boys" all rode in...
"Hey! What smells soooo Goood!" "Cookie, you finely come accross yur call'n"
"Yummmm! smells like HOME COOK"N TO ME!"
and with that, the Trailboss stepped up and cut himself a GREAT BIG SLICE!
"What kind of PIE..you make Cookie?"
"well,hehe..it's just-a-little something I picked up along the way..."
hehehe...yuka-yuk...
"Just give it a try...see what you think!"
"Why, Think I will cookie..THANKS!"
and with that..the Trail Boss took a big fork full in his mouth....
and munched down on it! Suddenly his mouth stopped, and his eyes began to
buldge....his face got real RED and his neck started to pulseate....
He Looked at Cookie like he could KILL!
Cookie just stared back and said quietly... "Moose berry pie, like it?"
The grizzled trailboss gasped for air..
"WHY, THAT TASTES LIKE..............Ahhhh, Errrrrrr, eeeeeeeee!
I LIKE IT!...Cut Me another slice Cookie and Pass it around to the Boys!!!
What really happened to the last F in FCF?
By, Duane Wheeler
The Greenhorn was handed a fish pole and sent to the side of a
river and told to catch a fish...
Plop!crank....Plop! crank... Nothing!
In time, a Grizzled Booshway appeared.. fliped his line into the stream..
WAMMMMM! Fish-on!
again, and again the old Timer had strikes and landed lunkers!
CODE of silence or not .....he had to know!
He asked: "Ok..I'm stumped, what yur secret?"
The Booshway looked over and replied:
"Yahmmmmayh kmmmmp ymm wmmmzzwammmm"
"WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT???"
JUST A BIT TICKED OFF...THE bOOSHWAY SPIT ON THE GROUND...Splaaaaap!
I said...YOU GOT TO KEEP YUR WORMS WARM! ;')
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