RED PEARLS OF DEATH

Beautiful red pearls
Where have I seen you before?
You remind me of something, of someone, of past...
But never have you been so beautiful, so shiny
Why chose I to ignore you before?
Mingling together...now what are you doing?
Destroying the beauty of each individual one of you
Why?  For what?
Why all this pain?  Why all this destruction?
Why can you not stay the same beautiful tiny red pearls that you always were.
So innocent you used to be, angelic
Now you have turned into the most hideous, ugly blob of flaming paint
Blob of anything.
Why did you have to change so quickly and drastically?
What made you become this way?
Nothing, no one.  Life.  Everything.  I don't know.
Why so sessile all of a sudden? No more to tell, huh?
So much to tell, but no strength.
The way of a coward.  Everything indicates this cowardice unraveled.
"Call me if you need me," he says..yeah, of course I'll call you.
From hell, from death, from nothingness.
Why should I anyway?
They have become something more than anyone ever imagined
The most disgusting, horrible, utterly despicable forms
Of deceit, betrayal, lies
Disguising everything.
No one knows you.
No one knows all those stinging, harmful secrets you harbor inside.
Some know some, some know others.  No one knows you.
You are nothing, nothingness. Deserve nothing.
Beautiful pearls from Pandora's box.
Sitting there, simmering, boiling, waiting to get out.
Tell the world about the worst of humanity.
Only the box is tightly locked.
Nothing gets out, nothing.
Red and golden threads entering, leaving, embroidering
The duplicity, lies, betrayal that lie inside.
Never will they escape.
Ah, how the surface is always deceiving!
Denying the crude, bitter reality
Not giving it a chance.
Perhaps someday the golden thin ice will crack
Letting everything inside escape
Forever plaguing the world, the loved ones, the cared about
It'll be too late then, it's too late now
To rectify what the devil has coerced
The ugliness escapes, it bursts,
Engulfing him, at least for the moment
Eventually, it passes, finds another victim
Meanwhile, the pearls fade away, melt,
Are buried, disintegrate, rot...
Or, perhaps they just disappear.
Poof! Just like that.
No, too easy, too simple.
The tortuous path to truth finally proceeds and takes its course
While the tainted consciousness, torment guilt
Eat away, little by little,
Stinging, biting, devouring, burning, stabbing, chopping
Gnawing up leisurely and tediously
Relentlessly
Until their dissipation into nothingness.


                                                                                            January 10th, 1999