Intense Meandering Examination

I hope I'll be flying far away
Off in the distance one of these days
Your bird's eye view of my life doesn't please me in the least
You're always out there out-witting everyone
Talking, fighting, biting, crawling, stinging, conquering;
Smart and intellectually superior you always
Lead the way and lead me to temptation
I can't resist, you're like a drug
Addictive, provocative, yet calm
Always there, yet always elusive
Never interesting, yet always captivating
Always misleading, yet always on the mark
How do you interest everyone so all around you?
How do you always come out on top?
Right, wrong; Good, bad
You've got me all confused
Tired, yet my heart is racing
Crying, yet my face is laughing
Thinking, yet not one single thought can make its way through
the morass and pandemonium that is my mind
How can you keep on going
with the heavy burden you bear?
all those boulders you carry
so proudly and nonchalantly on your shoulders?
Unaffected
Calm, cool and collected
Why is it me that always ends up lacrimating
Somehow suffocating
Never scintillating
Always contemplating
the meaning of life?
"Paper or plastic," I hear off in the distance...
"What was that?", I think to myself
Awoken from this long absurd debase interesting
smothering shining pining whining dream we call so normally............LIFE.

Interestingly and excitedly
It ends--
Not in fire
Not in ice
Not in floods nor storms nor disasters
Only in silence.


                                                                                                        July 6th, 1999