Sailor Moon Vrs. Tickle Me Elmo MSTied by CrowBar (MakoReno@aol.com), Mali (KaycieGrl@aol.com) and Oni (Discord999@aol.com) Written By: Sailor Solathei CrowBar's Website: http://crowbar.cjb.net Oni's Website: http://members.aol.com/Discord999/ CrowBar's Notes: Hello! This is my second time in a group MSTing! My first one is Part 6 of Sailor Moon Vrs Final Fantasy, BTW. Anyway, This fic is just plain.... odd. The charecters are extremely OOC, including Chibi-Usa and Ami. Also, I'm glad I got the chance to MST with Oni and Mali! Enjoy! Oni's Notes: Ahhh, fresh souls. This is my tenth MiSTing, and I hope you enjoy it. I don't know much about SM, but this still hurts. Get the Advil, boys, because it's gonna burn like hell! Mali's Notes: Where AM I? Who ARE you guys... oh... wait... nevermind. This is my, uhhh, a lot MiSTing. I've been around a while. Only my 3rd group MiSTing, though. Ummm... just one question, guys... who's Sailor Moon? Disclaimer Sailor Moon is owned by Toei, Inc. and DiC. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is owned by Best Brains. All refrences to anything else is owned by their Respective Company. This fic is owned by Sailor Solethei. I've had her permission to MST this piece and you cannot flame me or her for this. This is merely a form of C&C. By the way, please have a sense of humor when you read this, Solathei. __________________________________________________________________________ [Season 9 Theme Song- SOL Bridge- Scene shows all the robots, excluding Gypsy on the bridge playing a board game] Mike: Hello, Everyone. I'm Mike Nelson on the good ole SOL. Crow, Servo and I are playing Monopoly. Tom: Hey, Mike... could you roll my dice? My arms don't work. [Mike does so and rolls a 5. He moves Tom's Race Car over to Boardwalk. Tom: Ok.. I'll buy that. [Mike grabs 500 of Tom's money and places it in the bank] Crow: You know, Monopoly is the same thing every time. I mean, the person with the most money wins. Mike: But that's the *point*, Crow. Tom: Crow's right. It gets boring after a while. Mike: So, how should we change it? Crow: Well, for starters, how about we replace Chance and Community Chest with Bill Gates' Last Chance and Products? Then when you grab a card, it says something like 'You have been found guilty of Monopoly. Pay 30,000 dollars' or 'Your products suck. Pay 500 dollars to make them better'. [Mike writes down this] Mike: Ok. I don't see how this helps. Tom: Well, we could also name each of the places after Microsoft Products. Mike: So your saying that it should be a new game, like Star Wars Monopoly. Bots: Exactly. Crow: Then you could have a new rule in which you can make hostile takeover over lands and instead of a Jail, there will be a Computer Hell, in which you play with old crappy computers until you're free of the demise. Mike: O...kay. [Commercial sign flashes] Mike: We'll be right back. [Hits button] **************************************************************************** [Scene: Romantic Resterant. Tuxedo Chris comes in with Sailor Mars, doing his 'I'm too Sexy sketch. Suddenly, a chubby loser comes in looking like a poorly dreesed Nav. Just think a bad Chris Farley imitater] Chubby Dude: I'm gonna kill you man! Tuxedo Chris: Yeah right [Grabs the DateSaver (tm) and shocks him] Chubby Dude: YAHHH! [Falls down to the floor as a B-Actor would. The 'I'm too Sexy sketch continues] [Tuxedo Chris holds up the tazer (DateSaver) in the air as the words DateSaver come on the screen.] [Off-Stage: Nav comes rushing in with two M-60 machine guns and blows away the Chubby Dude for acting Like him.] Nav: hehe... [Nav fires a shot at the camera. the camera goes black] **************************************************************************** [Scene shows Crow yakking off on the 'Monopoly' Idea] Crow: .... And then you can make a extra bonus in which you play Netscape vrs. MIE via Dungeons and Dragons. The... Mike: Ok. Crow, I don't think they would make that. Crow: Why? It's a perfectly good idea! Tom: Yeah! Mike: Well, it just wouldn't fit with Monopoly. I mean, taking hostages and making Free Parking something called 'Bribing the Judge' just wouldn't work! And what would this game be called? Tom: Why...Bill Gates' Monopoly! [MADs light flashes] Mike: Guys...we'll work this out later. Right now, The Three Amigos are calling. [Castle Forrester] Pearl: Hello, Smellson. How are you and the bots today? [SOL] ALL: Good. [Castle Forrester] Pearl: That will prove to be short lived, because I have my newest plan to take over the world! [Bobo comes in singing] Bobo: [Singing] MMBOP... MMBOP... Pearl: [Turning to Bobo] Shut up, Bobo! [Turns back to screen] Anywho, you see Bobo loves Hanson. What I plan to do is make my own album that is just as addicting and make people listen to it. Then, once they have the song stuck in their heads and can't get it out, they won't notice me ruling the world! MWHAHA! Sorry I can't chat much longer, but it is time for your fanfic anyway. Brain Guy! [Observer runs into the room] Observer: Yes madam? Pearl: Send them a fanfic. You know, something evil, yet OOC at the same time. Observer: Yes. Mike, your fanfic for today is a oddity called 'Sailor Moon vrs. Tickle Me Elmo'. Enjoy! [Does the little head thing] [SOL] Crow: Come on, Mike. My idea is good! You just have to make sense of it. Mike: Crow... Bill Gates would SUE you! Crow: So?? Tom: Yeah, so? He'll never find us! [Fanfic Sign flashes] Mike: I'll deal with you guys later. Right now, it's FANFIC SIGN! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Door 6: It's a picture of Pippkin. You gleefully rip it apart.] [Door 5: It's Professor Daravon from Final Fantasy Tactics. You don't understand a WORD he says, thinking he would be great talking with Thinker, and walk on.] [Door 4: It's one of those puzzles at the table of Crackel Barrels. You play it for a minute and buy one at the souvinier shop.] [Door 3: It's the Final Fantasy Anime video. You and a couple of friends riff it and continue on.] [Door 2: It's a business card. You are forced to take it as you move along.] [Door 1: It's a Mccdonalds Drive Thru window. You wait for a minute for a Big Mac, and decide it's not worth it and continue on.] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Mike, carrying Tom, goes to the second seat, and puts Tom in the third. Crow sits in the first.] >Sailor Moon vs. Tickle Me Elmo Crow: The battle of the century! Call your local PPV for showtimes and rates. Tom: Really, though... my money's on Elmo. Mike and Crow: WHAT?? Tom: Well, think about it... I mean, even Sailor Moon can't help but laugh herself silly at the thought of being challenged by some bug-eyed, furry, child's toy. >*A note: The fanfic you are about to read is R-RATED. 'Bots: Oh. Well, bye, then! *get up to leave* Mike: *pulls them back down* I think not. 'Bots: *grumble* >There's >cussing, graphic violence against cute little Sesame Street >characters, Mike: As if the internet hasn't already done those two things to bits. Tom: Not to mention PBS... >nekkidness, Mike: That, too. Crow: (Dana Carvey) It's *nekkid* time! Tom: I didn't know they were going to send us a lemon. >and sexual in-yew-endo about things >that vibrate. Mike: Tickle Me Elmo is sexual? Crow: Whoa. Bad thought there Mike. You're invading my territory, and I don't like it! >If you are easily offended, you WILL be offended. Tom: I'm *already* offended. Mike: But it hasn't even started yet! Tom: So? >Don't say I didn't warn you. --Sailor Solathei* Tom: Solathei: The newest line of Solar Technologies! >(Our story opens with our heroines walking around town, eating Tom: ... each other? Crow: I'll be damned! It *is* a lemon! Mike: *sigh* You guys ... >ice cream. Usagi has a cone in each hand, as does Chibi-Usa, who >Mamoru is carrying on his shoulders. Crow: Ahh yes... The best way to setup a plot line: Ice Cream. Mike: For some reason, I have the urge for ice cream now. I wonder why? > Chibi-Usa drops a scoop on >his head.) ALL: Wah-wah-wahhhh. Crow: Ah yes, classic Far Eastern humor. Tom: Humor my ass... when does the Lemon part start?? >Chibi: Oops. >Mamoru: Ack! (He knocks the ice cream off his head and onto the >pavement. Chibi-Usa cries loudly.) Tom: Because Mamoru threw her off in the process. She dies in a bloody mess. The End. Mike: Tom, that was a pretty dark start. Tom: Well, thanks Mike! Crow: Yes, Obi Wan has taught you well... >Chibi: My ice cream! (She stops crying abruptly and looks in the >window of a nearby toy store. Tom: Where Barney is being murdered by several children. Mike: (Child) You just HAD to play that special on TV. Now my parents are in the Nut House! DIE!! >Kids are swarming into it, along >with parents; both kids and adults are yelling) All: (Chanting) ATTICA, ATTICA, ATTICA! > What's going on >there? Crow: (Usagi) Oh, nothing. Just Godzilla attacking Tokyo while people get into shelters, thats all. Tom: But don't they evacuate during Godzilla movies? Crow: Details, Details. >Usagi: Oh, it must be that stupid new American toy all the kids >are after...Tickle Me Elmo. Mike: Too bad most of the mechanical parts for those "stupid American toys" were made by the Japanese, huh? >Chibi-Usa: I want to see! (she tugs on Mamoru's ears) Take me in >there! Tom: Yes'm miss Chibi, I be takin'. Crow: Right there? In front of all the children...? Kinky. Mike: Please... 'Chibi-Usa's 7th Birthday' was enough. >Mamoru: No way in hell am I fighting THAT mob! Crow: YEAH! I wanna go fight some OTHER mob! >Minako: Oh, come on. She just wants to LOOK. It IS kind of cute... Tom: (Minako) For a bad plot device anyway. >Rei: Looks like a freak of nature to me. Mike: Oh, that's just Michael Jackson. >What's so special about a >little fuzzy red guy that giggles when you tickle him? Crow: Well, he vibrates, too ... Tom: Yuck ... >Mamoru: Oh. okay. Tom: (Mamoru) Come on, Rini. Let's go get killed by that mob. Crow: (Rini) After you... >(They enter the toy store. There are at least five fist-fights Crow: *I* am the true Fist of the Northstar! BEST THUNDER! Tom: No, *I* am the Fist of the Northstar! HURRICANE STRIKE! >going on between parents who claim their child wants Elmo worse >than the others. Meanwhile, Crow: Jerry Springer and his goons enter the building, hoping for a new topic! Tom: Watch as it actually happens. >kids are grabbing the Elmos and >running out the door unnoticed in the fracas.) Mike: Nooo, Lupita, it's wrong to steal ... >Ami: This isn't natural! Crow: I always knew that hair *had* to come from a bottle ... > All this over some toy? >Mako: Crow: Hey! Since when did Mako Energy play a role in Sailor Moon? Mike: Wrong Mako, Crow. >Look who's talking! At least I'VE had a date in the >last ten years! Mike: *growing angry* Oh, rub in, Miss Fictional Character! Tom: What the HELL does that have to do with anything? >Ami: At least I'm not so damn tall the school can't squeeze me >into a uniform. Now let me see. Crow: (Ami) Let's just peek under here... AHA! It *IS* too tight! Mike: Crow... >(whips out the famous computer) Tom: Unfortunetly, the author couldn't afford better computers than a V-Tech Learning Model. >Hey, this thing is EVIL! All: EVIL!!! >(looks up in time to see Chibi-Usa >jumping down from Mamoru's shoulders and running towards the stack >of Elmos) HEY! Chibi-Usa! Get back here! Mike: (Gangsta) Don't you sass me, woman! >Usagi: Oh great, now we're going to have to buy her one. >Ami: NO!! Don't go near them! Crow: Oh, and don't drink the water either. Tom: And watch out for snakes! >(Too late. Chibi-Usa has grabbed an Elmo and has ripped it out of >the box. Mamoru is paying for it.) Mike: Somehow, he gets up there WITH the Elmo in front of the thousands of parents fighting over Elmos... Tom: The newest book at Barnes and Noble at a discount price! Plot Contrivences: Our Friends. >Chibi-Usa: Okay, I'm ready to go home! >(They fight their way out of the store. At the door, they are >mobbed by parents.) Tom: (angry parent) Did you wash behind your ears, young man? Mike: (angry parent) WIPE YOUR FEET! >Lady: Hey, little girl! I'll give you 2 million yen for that Elmo! Crow: (Chibi) SOLD! >Chibi-Usa: Up yours, lady! (She stuffs the Elmo up her skirt) Tom: Chibi, you got it all wrong! You are supposed to put it up the OTHER persons skirt! Mike: Tom... that didn't even make sense. Tom: Well, she DID say, "Up YOURS, lady..." Crow: This is Chibi-Usa. This is Chibi-Usa watching too much MTV. Any questions? >(Another parent, a father, has snuck up behind Chibi and is trying >to retrieve the hidden Elmo. She turns around and kicks him in the >huevos.) Tom: (Cheech) Ooo, that's gonna hurt in the mornin', man. Want a joint? >Chibi-Usa: Get your filthy hands out from under my skirt, pervert! Crow: Isn't Chibi a tad too young for such words? Mike: Well, maybe being in 'Chibi USA's 7th Birthday' did something to her. >Usagi: WHAT? (She grabs the father and stands him up.) You hentai >asshole! I'll teach you! (She bitchslaps the poor guy and then >stuffs him into a trash can. Tom: You know, Usagi is a *real* good influence on Chibi-Usa. Crow: We had proof in the show about that. >From under Chibi-Usa's skirt, muffled >giggles are heard, followed by the trademark "That tickles!") ALL: EWW!! Tom: Happosai? Mike: We did NOT need that image! >Mako: Let's get the hell out of here! Tom: Good idea! [Rises to leave] Mike: Not you, Tom. Tom: Damn ... >(Later, in the park, Chibi-Usa is happily playing with her new >toy. ) Crow: ...Under her skirt. Mike: Crow... Crow: Well, that's where it is! >Elmo: Ha ha ha, ha ha ha...that tickles! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, that >tickles! (ad nauseam) Tom: I know it's making *me* nauseam ... >Rei: I don't see the attraction. Crow: (Chibi) I LIKE red-heads... >Mako: It's getting on my nerves! Someone take the damn batteries >out of that thing! Tom: Take the batteries out? Stomp on it and crush it's little muppet skull! Mike: Calm down, Tom. It's only a doll... Tom: THAT'S what they said in "Child's Play". >Ami: I hope they're C-cells. I need a couple for my...(notices >that everyone is looking at her funny and blushes)...um, computer. Tom: Oh, REAL good excuse, Ami. Mike: (Usagi) Excuse me Ami, but, are you smoking something? Even *I* know the computers don't need batteries! And, if you are, can I have some? Tom: Well, except for those V-Tech pieces of crap. Crow: Ami's lookin' a little horny ... >Mako: Yeah, right. Care to explain that noise I heard through your >window the other night? Rrrrrrrrrr...(bursts out laughing) Crow: Ooooooo ... [Eyes dim as he gets a mental picture] Mike: Hoo, boy ... I think he's gone into mega-hentai mode ... >Ami: (turns red, large sweat drop appears on forehead) Mike: Hey! Ami is a changeling! She turned into some red liquid. Tom: And yet she still has a forehead.... Crow: She immedently gets evaporated by the sun, killing her. The End. >That was >the pump on my fish tank, you pervert! Crow: It was a *pump*, all right ... Mike: Crow ... Crow: Well, it is! >Mako: You don't HAVE a fish tank! >Elmo: Ha ha ha, ha ha ha...that tickles! All: [laugh] Mike: That was actually halfway funny, in a sick sort of way. >Minako: That SUCKS. Crow: Minako; Beavis and Butthead's replacement. >Usagi: That's it, I'm taking the goddamn batteries out of that >thing. (She grabs Elmo and inspects him closely) Tom: (Elmo) Not THAT close, you pervert! Crow: Any minute now, we are going to get a Devil Doll 'pawing' scene. >Chibi: HEY! (bursts into tears) >Usagi: Okay, where are they? (She accidentally hits Elmo's "magic >button") All: EWWWWWW!!! >Elmo: Hahahahahahahahaha! (starts to shake, Usagi drops him) >Hahahahahahaha! (His laughter turns sinister as he grows into a >monster-sized Elmo) Whew! That was fun! Tom: ME ELMO KICK BUTT!!! >Usagi: What the hell? Tom: And so, being possessed by the spirit of Hank Hill, Usagi gained a sudden need to drink beer with Boomhauer, Bill and Dale and say "yup" a lot. Crow: And there was much rejoicing... >Ami: I TOLD you that damn thing was evil! We'd better transform! All: *Make Transformer transformation sounds* Crow: [Optimus Prime] Transform ... and roll out! >(All the senshi, including Chibi and Mamoru, transform.) Tom: [Megatron] Sailor Senshi-cons, merge for the kill! Mike: Alright, that's enough, you guys. Dinobot's gonna sue us for stealing his schtick. Unknown Voice: Hey, watch the fourth wall, you guys! Tom: *grumbles* You're one to talk ... >Moon: I'm sailor Moon, champion of justice! Mike: I'm Mike Nelson! I don't care! Tom: I'm Tom Servo! I'm huge! Crow: I'm Crow T. Robot! Bite me! >On behalf of the moon- Crow: And what a moon it *is* ... Mike: Crow ... Tom: And that close-up of Jupiter's butt during the transformation scene ain't half-bad either ... Mike: Tom ... >Mars: On behalf of Mars- >Mercury: On behalf of Mercury- >Venus: Oh, screw it, everyone already knows this bit. Crow: Ah, FINALLY! Some logic in this fic! Mike: I mean, what do those youma things *do* while they're making those speeches? Tom: I'm guessing they take correspondance courses. >Jupiter: Yeah. Blah blah blah. Next? All: WHO'S NEXT?!? >Moon: (glares at Venus and Jupiter) we will right wrongs and >triumph over evil! And that means you, Elmo! Mike: But, I'm assuming, not Nav. Crow: Hey, those corrupted Senshi powers from "Bloodbath 2" were pretty cool ... >Chibi-Usa: My toy! That son of a bitch took over my toy! Tom: Oh, yeah, Chibi-Usa cusses *all* the time on the show. >That's >it, I'm PISSED! PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK! (As per the norm, her >attack doesn't do much.) Crow: The Blood Heart Chain, however ... >Elmo: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! That tickles! (Elmo advances menacingly >on the Senshi...well, as menacingly as he can considering he's a >big fuzzy red nice monster with big eyes) Tom: Which isn't much ... Mike: Besides, everyone knows that *Bert* is the true evil of Sesame Street. Crow: That was pretty obscure, Mike. Mike: So? >Mars: Nice going. You just pissed him off. FIRE SOUL! Tom: How can you tell? >Jupiter: SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE! Crow: *snicker* Mike: What? Crow: It's just that attack sounds so damn goofy! What does she do, urinate on 'em? Mike: *shudder* Tom: Better to be pissed off than pissed on... >(The combined attacks hit Elmo, knocking him over.) Tom: The bigger they are ... Crow: The harder they kick your ass when they get back up. >Elmo: Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! That tickles! Mike: Not very original, is he? >Venus: VENUS CRESCENT BEAM SMASH! Crow: Admit it, Tom. These attacks are just a bunch of randomly-chosen words strung together! Tom: Never! >Mercury: SHABON SPRAY FREEZING! >(The attacks rip chunks of red fake fur and foam stuffing out of >Elmo and knock him down.) Mike: Tsk, tsk... she didn't pin him. >Elmo: Hahahahahahaha! Hahahahahah! (stands up) Crow: Did you know that if you run what Elmo says backwards, he actually says, "What the f***?" >Hahahahahahahahahaha! (starts vibrating and laughing maniacally, >and picks Mercury up.) Crow: Aaaaah! More Ami-with-vibrator jokes! >Mercury: WHEE! Hey, guys? Maybe he's not so bad after all... Mike: Not a joke, but an increadible simulation. >Moon: God, you need to get laid worse than I thought. Tom: Hey, I'm *more* than happy to oblige ... Crow: Shut up, Tom. You don't even have the right attachment. Tom: *blushing ... or he would, if a robot could blush* SHUT UP!!! >Venus: VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN! (She wraps the chain around Mercury >and jerks her free of Elmo) Tom: Unfortunately, the resulting fall shattered her back, killing her instantly. Mike: So now Ami's gonna fall in love with Sailor Venus? Crow: Whoo-hoo! A lesbian lemon! >That's it, I'm putting you a personal >ad in the paper if we get out of this. "Single blue-haired >bookworm with stuffed animal fetish seeks..." Tom: *continuing* "... same for mature relationship based on the love of laughter." >Tux: We've got to find the batteries! (throws roses at Elmo, >ripping bits of fake fur loose) Crow: I don't get it, I mean, wouldn't daggers be more efficient and cooler- looking? Tom: Philistine. >Moon: MOON TIARA ACTION! (The tiara shears off some fake red fur >on Elmo's butt and lodges there) >Elmo: OW! (flails around a bit) Get this thing out of my ass! Mike: [Cartman] That does it! Now listen! How come everything today has involved things either going in, or coming out of my ass?!? >(plucks the tiara out and throws it aside) That's it! No more Mr. >Nice Monster! (As he flails around in pain, Usagi catches a >glimpse of something under his fur) Crow: (Elmo) HEY! Quit peeking! Tom: Just kill 'em and let us go home already! >Moon: The batteries! (She leaps at Elmo, but he grows claws and >neatly slices her fuku right down the front, leaving her with a >very low-cut fuku!) Crow: YES! Elmo! Elmo! Elmo! Mike: Aim for the head this time! >Tux: Whoa! (yells to Elmo) Can you try that again? Cut off the >skirt this time! Crow: Not what I had in mind ... but go ahead anyway! >Moon: (glares at Tux) Whose side are you on, anyway? (Elmo's claws >render her nude except for a few strategically-placed strips of >spandex resembling a thong bikini bottom) All: @_@ Crow: I've changed my mind, Nelson. This is a *great* fanfic! >Tux: (doesn't answer, but develops a noticeable lump in the front >of his trousers) All: Blech! Crow: I did *not* want to know that. >Mercury: And they're calling ME ecchi? (leaps at Elmo and grabs a >battery) Tom: But if Elmo grew to huge size, shouldn't the batteries have either grown with him, or died in a matter of seconds? Mike: It's just a fanfic, Tom. You should really just ... Crow: SUCK IT! Mike: *shakes head* That's the last time I let you watch Degeneration X ... Crow: Awwww... >Elmo: Nooooo! (stumbles around weakly) >Mercury: (softly) All RIGHT! (tucks the battery into that strange >place the Sailors and Tux keep their wands and roses and such) Crow: Her puss-- Mike: *grabs his beak and holds it shut* Stop right there. Tom: Well, according to "Virgin Warrior Sail--" Mike: *slaps a hand over Tom's mouth* Why do I bother? >Chibi: I got the other one! (She grabs Elmo's other battery.) >Elmo: Waaaah! (As he speaks, he sounds like a record winding down) >I...just...wanted...to...play...(dies) All: Awwwww ... Tom: He just wanted to play! Crow: Yeah! All he did was strip Usagi naked! What's wrong with that?!? >Venus: It's about time! Mike: In fact, it's VADER TIME!!! >Mars: FIRE SOUL! (She incinerates the lifeless corpse of the Elmo) >So much for HIM. Crow: Another day, another crappy fanfic. Next. >(In the background, we see Mercury grabbing the battery out of >Chibi's hands. Tom: That joke's getting old ... Crow: (Ami, Whiny) It's minemineminemine! >As the fire goes out and the ashes of the dead Elmo >are scattered by the winds, we hear a faint "Ha ha ha...ha ha >ha...that tickles!") >Moon: Huh? How many of these things ARE there? Crow: 69,696,969,696,969,696,969. Tom: Obsessed much, Crow? >Mercury: (does a quick calculation) About 10 million...(The Senshi >all groan.) Crow: See? I *told* you it was a lesbian lemon! >...but they only become dangerous if you try to take >the batteries out before they die... Mike: OH well then, we're all safe for about a week... >Jupiter: Damn American toys... Crow: [Jupiter] Slap a new coat of paint on Batman and claim he's new ... what a rip-off ... >(more giggling and squeals of "That tickles" are heard as ominous >music swells.) Crow: [JR] MAH GOD! It's KANE! Tom: *imitates the sound of an explosion of fire* >Mercury: That's it, this is WAR... Mike: Nah, Megane already did that one. UV: What did I say about violating the fourth wall? All: BITE US! UV: Ungrateful little... >(evil grin) Hey, I know how we >can get back at them...(starts typing furiously on computer) Just >one little program...now all I have to do is give this to the toy >manufacturers... Tom: And in about 40 years, receive my rejection letter. Crow: WHAT A PLAN! >(Cut to scene of American toy store during Christmas rush. Several >parents are fistfighting over a small box. They drop it in the >scuffle, and a close-up reveals the word "Tamagotchi" printed on >it. Voice-overs of Senshi laughing wickedly.) All: *scream in horror* Crow: My God ... Nav was right! The Senshi *ARE* evil incarnate! Tom: That's it! I'm joining ISM first thing in the morning! >--Fin All: THANK ERIS! *get up to leave* Crow: What the ... the door's locked! >***By Sailor Solathei. Tom: Oh, there's more. All: *groan and sit back down* >Do not even THINK about stealing this or I Crow: ... shall taunt you a second time! Mike: Who'd *want* to steal this? >will pull your lower lip up over your head and keep it there with >a staple gun. If you wanna put it on yer web page, all you have to >do is ASK. Sheesh. Send bitches, Tom: Great, now she's the Godfather ... Crow: *singing* Smack my bitch up, smack my bitch up ... Mike: *sighs and holds his head, as though it is about to explode* >gripes, groans, and assorted >death threats to me at holychao@swbell.net*** Tom: Whoa! She's a Discordian! Crow: Maybe she's not *all* bad ... Mike: That would explain why the author appears to be on drugs ... Crow: Hey, look, the doors are open! Tom: Let us take our leave, then. [All Exit] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [1...2...3...4...5...6...7] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [SOL Bridge- The scene shows Tom and Crow, backs turned toward the camera, apparently looking at something. A small thread of smoke rises from in front of them.] Tom: Wow! This WAS a real cool idea! Crow: Yeah, look at it go! [Mike enter's the bridge and sees Tom and Crow] Mike: Hey guys, what are you doing now? Crow: Well, after we finally realized that our Monopoly idea wouldn't work, we decided to do something that can work out and no one will sue us! [Tom and Crow step back to reveal a Interactive Barney burning in flames] Mike: Oh. Well, we needed a good fire. Where did you get the doll? Crow: Well, I asked Bobo if he could send us something and he sent us this. Tom: [Singing] Barney roasting over a open fire... Mike: Did you take the batteries out of it though? Crow: Batteries? [The Barney doll sparks all over the place] Mike: DUCK AND COVER!! [The 3 duck as fast as they can. The doll explodes and you see a flash of light. The light disapeers to show the Bridge having burnt marks all over it as well as the bots and Mike when they get up.] Tom: That was fun! Can we do it again? [Mike sighs. The MADs light flashes] Mike: Hang on, Servo. Hanson is calling. [Castle Forrester- Pearl is on some microphone, Bobo playing a guitar, while Observer is playing some odd instrument. You hear some VERY bad music] Peril: Stop! Stop! Bobo: But I was doing a good job! [Pearl bonks Bobo on the head] Pearl: But you are NOT supposed to chew on the wires! [Turns to Observer] And what the hell is that instrument? Observer: Ahh. This is a well loved instrument in my system. But I'm afriad that you would never be able to pronounce the name. Pearl: Well, at least we got a song done. [Pearl walks over to the Kareoke machine and ejects the tape player. Nothing is in it.] Bobo: Oh. I knew I forgot to put something in! I forgot the tape. Pearl: Bobo? Bobo: Yes, Lawgiver? Pearl: You die, Joe! [Bobo runs off while Pearl is chasing him] Observer: Shag him one for me, Pearl. [Turns to camera] Until next time ... \ | / \ | / \ | / --------o-------- / | \ / | \ / | \ (FWOOSH!) ____________________________________________________________________________ [Throughout the credits, you hear Bobo's scream.] Send any comments to CrowBar at: MakoReno@aol.com Send any comments to Oni at: Discord999@aol.com Send any comments to Mali at: KaycieGrl@aol.com ***Keep circulating the dibs*** **************************************************************************** >Moon: God, you need to get laid worse than I thought.