A Tribute to Two Friends

						By Newaz

	We are gathered here today to acknowledge the passing of two very special 
friends of ours: Pamela Anderson Lee's breast implants. What can be said 
about these two? The life of Lefty and Righty was one filled with much fame 
and recognition. When Baywatch picked up, everyone knew how they expanded 
Pam's role on the show, and both of them could barely contain themselves 
with excitement each time Pam ran down the beach.
	In only a short time, Lefty and Righty became two of the most well known 
stars in show business. Magazines were bouncing with anticipation to get a 
photo shoot with them and Pam. They were referred to as "The most well 
matched pair in Hollywood," and "A sure thing to win the Golden Globe 
awards." And then after a brief stint as the models for TDK's blank video 
box art, at the peak of their fame, the big break had come: a chance to star 
in their own motion picture... ahem, I mean, to costar with Pam in a movie. 
That movie of course, was Barb Wire. Millions of fans stared at the screen 
in a hypnotic trance as Lefty and Righty busted out of their... acting 
restraints, their performance easily overshadowing Pam in the movie. So 
riveting was their performance, that many of the watchers had to go into the 
bathroom to... uh, compose themselves before being able to watch the rest. 
Lefty and Righty's characters left such vivid imagery as to force the 
watcher to rewind the tape and view the scene's many times, as well as 
mentally watch it, even after going to bed.
	Unfortunately, like many other Hollywood friendships, jealousy and envy 
began to weed into the twins' and Pam's relationship. Pamela had grown 
irritated with Lefty and Righty's fame, even coming to the point of 
overshadowing herself. Even with their personal problems, they did indeed go 
on to make another video production, that being the Pam and Tommy Lee sex 
video, which was also extremely popular. But after that, things took a turn 
for the worse, as after all the years as a duo, er, trio, Pam decided that 
it was time for them to part ways. Thus, the surgery was completed, the once 
mighty team crumbled, and a wake of crushed fans was left behind. Pamela is 
still in show business, but everyone agrees that it just isn't the same 
without her two co-stars. Sadly, Lefty and Righty's fate was not as 
promising. Their life quickly turned into one of drugs, boozing, and fast 
wome- well, drugs and boozing anyway. And one dark and stormy night, on a 
joyride in their new Volkswagen Beetle, they flipped the car over a 
turnrail.
	And that is where we are today, in remembrance of the two that brought 
happiness to our lives for a long time. And while Pamela Anderson has 
continued on with her life, we will always be able to see our beloved Lefty 
and Righty... in Brittany Spears. Thank you.

Newaz
'Netime, Newhere, Newaz'