how to make ur azn g/f eternally happy
1. Be rich. This is important fer you..buT not For her. Fer her the # 2 rule foLLowz-
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the mOst imPortant thing for her, whether yoo are riCh..have any money...or must lie..steal..er kill to do iT.
3. Be TALL. Of course you have no reaL control over this...but if u dun do it...she will secretLy and 4ever resent u for it and it wiLL come out oF LeFt fieLd to smiTe you. PreferabLy be about 1 foot taLLer than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, buT because uR a trophy and as always...the bigger the better.
4. Be a MiNDLESS ZOMBiE RULED BY HER. Forget wAt you've heard Bout submissive azn women. They actuaLLy rule every relationship wit insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guiLt-evokin, whiny, cryiN mind-controL.
5. Hav tha EMOTiONAL STABiLiTY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She wiLL b
impressed n enraptured by ur deLiTe at tha siTe of HeLLo Kitty, stuffed animaLz, puPPiez, kiTTiez, duckieZ, bunniez..as well as chocoLatez, shiny jewelry n other trinkets N knick-knacks. Also...she wiLL understand perfectly weLL if u pout over the smaLLest perceived sLight or sLip n demand to be appeased..assuaged..or made up to. If u behave ne uther way, she will never understand iT.
6. Dress Like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. Dis wiLL save her tha truBBLe of repLacing uR wardrobe and dressing u..herself.
7. Remove EVERY HAiR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP.
Tha site of a whisker on ur face remindZ her that sumwhEre insiDe u..somethin is Tryin 2 grow. You must not grow - u must be as unChangin n constant as thA fiRMamenT.
8. There r NO MORE RULES 2 maKin ur aZn girLfRen eternally haPPie...if any siTuaTion ariseZ which u feeL the rules have not addreSSed...u r misTaKen - immediately reFer to the primary ruLez #1 -N- #2 - they r tha soLution in evry such case.
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