Memory explained (sort of)

I was flipping channels around Christmastime, and I caught sight of Karate Kid II, 
the part where they are conducting a funeral for Miyagi's teacher. I have always 
been captivated by the way that sort of ceremony not only accepts but celebrates
the impermanence of life. We put these flames out on the water in flimsy paper 
lanterns, then we toss out wreaths of flowers, and we *know* they will sink.

In America, it's the same-but-different. Putting up engraved headstones reminds 
us of people, yes, but we tend to not visit cemetaries that often. After the first 
few times, we forget, or are too busy, or simply don't want to be brought down 
by the thought of death.

So in a way, we also let go.

But some people don't. I wrote the first stanza that day, watching people sollemly 
set lanterns in a sheltered bay. It was months before I wrote the second stanza, 
and when I did, it was because of an anime character named Wufei who had not 
let go of the dead in his life. He couldn't. He lived every moment trying to prove 
himself to someone who had died in exactly the way she would have wanted. I 
don't know for sure, but I think she would not have wanted him to do what he did. 
Or maybe she would have at first, but not later. Not after seeing what he put 
himself (and others) through to be the person he thought she wanted him to be.

Nothing we do can bring them back. That is life. When we cling for too long, we 
are not letting them have peace, nor are we finding our own. We never have to 
give up the love, but at some point we have to accept the death. When we light 
those fragile candles and let the tide sweep them away- that is like our lives. We 
know the light will go out, but that's not the point. The point is that it burned.