Excel Saga by Rikudou Koushi: Serialized in Young King Comics

Excel Saga Manga Translation version 1.0

Volume 1 Mission 2

P. 29
Character Introduction #1
Ideal Driving Force Organization Across Member Number 1
Codename: EXCEL
Excel's 7 Riddles
1) Real Name: Unknown
2) Place born: Unknown
3) Hometown: Unknown
4) Bad disguise: Unknown
5) Position on living things and the status quo: Unknown
6) Why the main character even though incompetent: Unknown
7) How did you go up from 6: Unknown
8) Why part of Across: Unknown
9) There are 8 riddles, oops!
10) Did you read it?
Excel: If I tell you, I'd be fired...

P. 30
Character Introduction #2
Ideal Driving Force Organization Across: Overlord
ILPALAZZO'S SECRET
"A secret is something to be secretly hidden and not given out to others," he says.

P. 31
Excel's thoughts: This year's rainy season is long.
Excel: But it's not that I dislike the rainy season.  Umbrellas, raincoats, purple
       flowers, snails.
Excel: For one reason or another, it's not a fairy tale.
Excel: That reason issss-

P. 32
Mission 2: Yesterday and Today for Separation (Wakare no Tame no Kinou to Kyou)
*GUSH GUSH GUSH
Excel's thoughts: Our ACROSS secret underground base is...
Excel: Hail Ilpalazzooo!
Excel's thoughts: In a big pinch!

P. 33
Ilpalazzo: Well well
*POUR POUR
Ilpalazzo: To think that an underground base would have this sort of problem...
Ilpalazzo: I never saw it coming.
Ilpalazzo: How do you see this situation, Excel-kun?
Excel: Ah
*inflating sound
Excel: Yef yef!
Excel: For the time being, to make the best of this unfortunate situation, I'm currently 
       scattering decoys about to confuse people.
*POUR POUR
Ilpalazzo: You like it, don't you.

P. 34
Ilpalazzo: To me, it looks like a gruesome crowd of drowned bodies.
Excel: Ah, that's an Edo period Rikishi's (Rikishi means 2nd highest rank of sumo wrestler)
       name isn't it? ("Dozaemon," the word for drowned bodies sounds "Tozaemon," which
       sounds like a sumo wrestler name)
Excel's thoughts: Ilpalazzo knows a lot.
Ilpalazzo: Then, starting from the right, staff officer, head of military operations,
       soldier.  That leaves Excel-kun to be toilet cleaner and
Excel: So before giving important jobs to inanimate objects, let's get more human members!
Ilpalazzo: Well then let us prepare.
Ilpalazzo: Let's discuss today's plan for city domination 1,154.
Ilpalazzo: Excel-kun, what do you think is most important to a child's education?
*bubble bubble
Excel: Eh!?
Excel: Ye-yeah...
*report says "Mind Control to educate efficiently"
Excel: Umm...that is...heart isn't it?
*blush blush
Ilpalazzo: Ahem

P. 35
Ilpalazzo: A rich-hearted education creates good citizens.
Ilpalazzo: Good citizens make righteous subjects.
Ilpalazzo: In order to fulfill the heart of education, I propose-
Excel: Yes!
Ilpalazzo: Go ahead.
Excel: Yes!  A good heart comes from a good meal!
*splash splash
Excel: I humbly suggest "How about substituting typical school meals with fancy gourmet
       foods?" though it's a stupid idea!
*stamp
*City Domination Plan No 1154: Impossible
*Gasp!
Excel: Aah!

P. 36
Excel: It's...it's no good?
Ilpalazzo: Ahem, it might not be a bad idea but...
Ilpalazzo: But don't you think it's impossible?
Excel: Even though I just suggested it, I also think that it's impossible.
Ilpalazzo: Then onto the next plan......
*RIIIIIII
Excel: Huh?
*RIIII
*ING
Excel: Ilpalazzo-sama, it's time, I'm going to my part-time job.
Ilpalazzo: ......
Ilpalazzo: Today is...

P. 37
Ilpalazzo: Don't you think you're forgetting something?  Definitely.
*whirr whirr
*SPLASH SPLASH
Excel: No, none, uh uh, not at all sir.
*By raft
*A little firm
Excel: Then I'm off
*pour splash
POUR pour pour

P. 38
*pedal pedal
Excel singing: Do you know my name?  But it's a secret.
*pour pour
Excel singing: Been delivering evening newspapers for three days.
*ring
*kachunk
Excel: It's already been three days-
Excel: The third day of this state of emergency-
Excel singing: It's not just covering the floor, it's a flood.

P. 39
Excel: Wow
*zumomomomo(the sound of a car drifting by)
Excel: A variety of incredible things are drifting along.
Excel: Street signs are drifting by, Keroyon* is drifting by (*Keroyon is the mascot of a
       Japanese medical company)
Excel: Puppies are floating by too,
Puppy: whimper whimper whimper!
Excel: Puppy?
Excel: Dog=living thing=edible thing
Excel: Dinner
Puppy: YIPE!

P. 40
Excel: Ahahahaha
Puppy: WHIMPER WHIMPER WHIMPER WHIMPER!
Excel: It's a joke, a joke
Excel singing: It's not that desperate* that I would eat a dog (*=meaning occassionally)
*grab grab
Puppy's expression: NOOOOOO!

P. 41
Excel: There there, I'll feed you when I finish my job
*pour pour
Excel singing: Bicycle bicycle,
Excel: Huh?
*pour
Excel: It was right there one minute and ten seconds ago.
Excel: What a skilled robbery!!
Puppy's expression: Robbery...?
Excel: It's a government conspiracy...
Puppy's expression: wrong
*pour pour

P. 42
Puppy: Whimper!
Excel: But it's ok!  Puppy!
Excel: I won't give up!!
*rope tying sound
Excel: SOON THE CITY WILL BE OURS!
Excel: I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP BECAUSE OF SOMETHING LIKE BICYCLE THEFT!* (*the reading for
       the prononciation of the kanji for "bicycle theft" is "government conspiracy")
*pour pour

P. 43
Excel: I'm hooome!
Excel: It's good that the rain hasn't reached here yet!
Excel: Puppy's probably tired too.
Puppy: pant pant
Puppy's expression: fear
Excel: Calling you puppy is weird isn't it?  I have to make up a name.
Puppy's expression: panic panic
Excel: Hmmmmmm
Excel: Ok Menchi!
Excel: I'll call you Menchi!
Excel: It's a cheap, fatty delicious sounding name isn't it?
*Probability of being eaten line graph
Menchi: Whimper!
Excel: Well then,
*roll of drawer
*knife comes out
Excel: Time to make dinner
Menchi: WHIMPER!


P. 44
*CRASH!  CLANG!
Excel: HEY! MENCHI!
Menchi: WHIMPER!  WHIMPER!
Excel: Eeek!
*THUD!
*boom boom
Excel: Oh, what's the matter?
Excel: Hey!  Thst hurts!
Excel: Hey!  That hurts I said!
Menchi: WHIMPER WHIMPER!
*THUD!
Excel: Ahahaha!
Excel: Eeek!
Menchi: Whimper!
*clunk
Excel: Come here!  Damn you!
Excel's neighbor: SHUT THE HELL UP!
*WHAM WHAM WHAM!
Excel's neighbor: CUT IT OUT!!

p. 45
*sound of getting angry
Excel's neighbor: You!  Hm?
Excel's neighbor: Hey, the neighbors!
*crackle crackle crackle crackle
Excel's neighbor: Don't they bother you too with their damn noise!  Go tell them something
       to shut them up!
Excel's other neighbor: THE ONE MAKING ALL THE DAMN NOISE......
*KABAM!	
Excel's other neighbor: IS YOU!!
Excel: Wow

P. 46
Excel's neighbor: No way!  I am...!
Excel: The world is a scary place huh, isn't it rough?
Excel's other neighbor: Shut up!  You're always yelling weird things!
Excel: Isn't it?
Excel's neighbor: I'm telling you, you're wrong!
*piropiropiro (electric sounding ring)
Excel: Ah, the phone
*piropiropiro
*pi
Excel: Yes, hello?  Ilpalazzo-sama?  What is it sir?
*Oof!  Thud!
Excel: Eh?  The noise in the background?  Please don't worry about it sir.
*Whack!
*Jiiiiiin (the sound of silence)
Excel: Ah, it stopped.
Excel: Huh?  Right now?  ...I understand, I'll be right there.
*click
*sniff sniff sniff
Excel: Huh?
*step
Excel: That smell, is it kitchen rubbish?
*picking up umbrella sound

P. 47
*sniff sniff sniff
Excel: Gotta protect public morals
*??
*bubble bubble bubble
*bubble
*bubble bubble bubble

P. 48
Excel: Gasp!
*SPLASH!
Ilpalazzo: That was quick.
*cough!  
Excel: Hail
*shake shake
Excel: Ilpala
*cough cough!
Ilpalazzo: Well well.
*pour pour
Ilpalazzo: The water level has really increased, hasn't it?
Excel: Let's do something about it, Ilpalazzo-sama.
Ilpalazzo: We must do sometihng about it.
Ilpalazzo: By the way, why are you carrying that dog?
*splish splish
Excel: Ah, I just met him.  It's called Menchi.

P. 49
Excel: Because we're in this situation, we could make it a soldier or something
Ilpalazzo: ...that and also staff and officer in charge of planning.  You're still in 
       charge of toilet cleaning.
Excel: Ah!
*Gasp!
Excel: Now that you mention it, the secret base of our organization Across...has a toilet
       right?
Ilpalazzo: What about it?
Excel: ugh ugh
Excel: Because of all the water, the stuff in the toilet had been floating around, so when I
       was underwater without any gear, I drank a little.  I am in a straining situation.
*Japanese language Japanese language
*splish splish
*Tug!

P. 50
Excel: Whoaaaaaaaa!
*GUSHHH! SWIRLLL!
Excel: Ilpalazzo-samaaa!
Excel: This kinda resembles an emergency!
Ilpalazzo: Toilets are cleansed by water aren't they?
Excel: Ah, truly that's iiit!
*FLUSH!
Excel: Yes, that was it!
Excel: Very clever, just as one would expect of Ilpalazzo-sama!
Excel: I'm convinced

P. 51
*pat of gloves together
Ilpalazzo: Aah!
Ilpalazzo: That's it.
Ilpalazzo: Hahahahaha
*Fluuush
*gurgle gurgle
Ilpalazzo: By doing this, the water drains away.  That's good.
*pour pour
-Some time later
*POUR!
*CRASH SPLASH!

P. 52
Excel: Well, it's a good thing the kind people of this ship picked us up.
Excel: I wonder what country these people are from?
Excel: Besides, I didn't know our underground base is connected to the ocean.
*Non-swimmers might have died right away
Foreign person: (says something in a language Excel doesn't understand)
Excel: Ah, a radio?
*bzzzt
Announcer: -the growing low-pressure system is...
*crackle
Announcer: moving away from the western Japan skies.  Over the Pacific Ocean
*crackle crackle
People: Oooh!
Excel: I'm rescued!  Yay!  There is land nearby!
People: Aaah!

P. 53
People: Aaah!
Excel: Everyone is happy for me!
People whistle
Excel: They're good people, right Menchi!
People: Aaah!
Menchi's expression: Not exactly-
People: oooh!
*Written between the panels is, "This time's slave, Yoko Maeda Chimpan and Kinema (They both
       like bugs.)"  I don't know what it means.  But that's what it says.
*pour pour

P. 54
Ilpalazzo: I wonder what the state of the world is
*click
TV: Sometime this morning, in the sea nearby, the coast guard caught a vessel of illegal
       aliens.
Ilpalazzo: Well, well.
Ilpalazzo: The world is trembling it seems.
TV: The Department of Immigration is now investigating the diplomatic options.
Ilpalazzo: However, Excel-kun is late.
Ilpalazzo: Inexcusable.
*Sign-Immigaration Office
Custom's officer: Citizenship?
Excel: It's a secret.
Custom's officer: Name?
Excel: I can only tell you my codename.
Custom's officer: Age?
Excel: Unknown.
Custom's officer: You speak Japanese well, don't you?
End of Mission 2