[In the comfortable, homely residence of one Andrew Mucha, three young men were about to partake in a rare and dangerous ritual that would test their mental and fortitude and physical stamina to the utmost. They would be pushed to their limits and beyond, by forces they did not fully understand.] [They were about to commence an out-of-order Evangelion marathon.] John: (on the couch) Popcorn? Jared: (hefts a bowl of the snack food that could feed a small country for weeks) Here. John: Tapes? Andy: (eyes closed, holding a white VHS cassette in the air) Here. Jared: Are we spiritually prepared? [John stares at Jared, then moves a little further away. Andy just frowns, his eyes still closed.] Andy: What ever. John: (in his best Rayden voice) Now, for the challenge of the ages... Andy: It's guess the episode time! (opens his eyes, looks at the tape, nods to himself, and begins feeding it into the VCR) [Jared hands the popcorn to John, who starts muching on the buttery goodness. Jared snatches the huge multi-device remote from the coffee table as Andy pushes the tape home. His finger descends on the chosen button with laser-like precision and...] [White out.] -------------------------------------------------- "No, it was not a mistake. It was more like a shared hallucination of the senses. It was powerful. It was destiny. It was adventure. It was... fun." - Andy, the Epilogue. -------------------------------------------------- Insanity Productions is ashamed to present... -------------------------------------------------- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... it... ah... aheh heh... I can't remember the rest. Well, Andy and Jared beat the crap out of each other and I, being the kind soul I am, brought them back here... To NERV. What am I thinking?!!" - John, Episode 6. -------------------------------------------------- A work of Three Goons by Three Goons -------------------------------------------------- "Jared, please do not spike the N2 mine." - Ritsuko, Episode 9. -------------------------------------------------- Staring The Three Goons (c) -------------------------------------------------- TITLE FLASH: Three Goons Hope is for the Foolish / Who, What, Where, and Does that Come with Chocolate? -------------------------------------------------- Jared: (stares at the remote control in his hand) What the hell?! [John is sitting on the ground next to him. The two are no longer on a couch, in a house, but are sitting on a patch of grass, on the side of a hill. A warm breeze blows from the east, the sun setting to their left in the western sky. The bowl of popcorn is gone, but a fistful of the food is still clutched in John's shaking hand.] John: What just happened? [Andy is standing in front of the two, his arms folded over his chest and a look of shock on his face. After a moment, he started whistling the tune to the X-Files.] John: (casually) Andy. Stop or I will personally kill you with my bare hands. [Andy, towering over John, glares down at his friends. Jared stares at the remote for a few seconds and clambers to his feet, looking over the horizon past Andy. John breaks the staring contest with Andy after a few seconds and also gets to his feet, looking at whatever Jared has seen. Andy glares at the both of them for a minute before turning around to see what they're looking at.] Andy: Well, we aren't in Kansas anymore. [Understatement of the Year Award is hereby given to Andrew Mucha for his excellent comment.] Andy: (tearful) I'd like to thank the Academy... Author: Can it. I have a fic to write. Jared: (snapping) Kansas? We don't live in Kansas. I've never even BEEN to Kansas! I DON'T SEE ANY KANSIANS AROUND HERE! WE'RE IN JAPAN!!! John: `Kansians'? Andy: Well, anyone up for a refund? [Cicadas hummed in the background. John turned to Jared.] John: Jared? Jared: (recovering his composure slowly) Yes? Andy: This always happens when you hog the remote! [John opens his mouth and the real curse-fest begins...] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ End Prologue Next Episode: (Jared Voice Over) Well, that's how it started. Where will we go from here? (shot of Unit-02, up close... VERY close) Perhaps things will get better... (shot of the Goons running from Unit-02) Perhaps things will get worse... (short of John strapped to a gourney, covered in blood) Whatever the case, BE THERE! Ver 1.0 Jul 6, 2001