Months had passed since Team Rocket had visited outer space, and many changes had taken place. Jessie and James had gotten married and moved into their own apartment in Celadon City. Meowth had been reassigned, and Jessie’s baby was due in any day. Life was wonderful for Jessie and James and they had never been happier. One would never be able to tell that the two former members of Team Rocket had buzzed through space and time in a sleek green ship called The Irregular Penguin. Jessie and James stared up into the night sky with no idea that they were being sucked into a sequel.
In the inky darkness of space, The Irregular Penguin hovered above the planet Earth. No matter what setting the scanners were on, the state of Wyoming was no where to be found. Aljdrakkeritisovlajdnzlabixurtt (who was commonly called Bob and looked strikingly like Kelsey Grammer with the exception of a third arm) drummed the fingers of his center hand on the scanning console. There had to be a logical explanation. If anyone knew the answer, he figured he knew the right people to abduct. Flipping through a large telephone book, Bob found the number of Jessie and James.
“Number 33421! Bring me the phone now!” he barked.
A purple robot by the name of Colby on an orange cart zoomed into the room.
“YEEEEEHAAAW! You’re callin those humans again how will they help oh well here’s the phone I need some more coffee bye!” Colby babbled in a hyper fit.
Bob sighed as he called the number, “Hey, James this is Bob. You know The Irregular Penguin and that kind of thing. I need your help.” He said as James answered the phone.
“Um…I’m not sure who this is, or why you’re playing Mexican Hat Dance music but I think you have the wrong number. Bye.” James said and promptly hung up.
Bob shook his head. He had forgotten how primitive the human race was. They didn’t even have translation rings yet. Tracing the call, Bob was able to determine the coordinates of Jessie and James’s apartment and soon, The Irregular Penguin was hovering overhead. Jessie and James gasped as Bob walked out of the green ship and handed translation rings to them. They slipped the black rings over their wrists and were instantly able to understand Bob’s every word.
“Hey kids how’s it goin?” bob asked.
“Fine, but what are you doing here?” Jessie asked.
“Well I got drunk at a bar and I bet a giant bowl of cocktail peanuts $10 that I could figure out what happened to Wyoming.” Bob explained.
“Something happened to Wyoming?” Jessie and James asked in unison.
“What? You mean you didn’t even know that it was gone?” Bob gasped.
“I’ve never even been to Wyoming. No one ever goes to Wyoming.” Jessie explained.
“I’ve never even met anyone from Wyoming.” James added.
“Then will you at least help me figure out what happened?” Bob sighed.
“I’m not exactly in the best condition to travel.” Jessie pointed out.
“Oh yeah. Hey I noticed. Way to go James. Anyway it shouldn’t take to long and besides, other than risking our necks to figure out what happened to a worthless state nobody cares about, it’ll be fun.” Bob persuaded.
He pushed Jessie and James onto The Irregular Penguin and they flew off.
“Now, we’re going to planet Filing Cabinet to find the blueprints to Earth. If we can’t find an answer in the Universal Archives then we’ll go to the planet Waleduj where The Information of the Universe is stored.” Bob explained.
Jessie and James stared at him blankly.
“Why did I even bother to track you down?” Bob sighed.
The Irregular Penguin flew to the planet Filing Cabinet. As they got out and were looking around a couple of large Styrofoam cups chased each other and tore off each other’s facial hair.
“That cup tore off that other cup’s beard!” Jessie gasped.
“Oh Jessie!”
“Oh James!”
They flew into a fear hug as the cups ran off.
Now, it must be explained that on that planet of Filing Cabinet, the inhabitants were all office supplies until the sheep took over 40 years preceding this story. This may or may not be explained later. And all of the inhabitants had long facial hair and there was nothing they enjoyed more than chasing each other and tearing off each other’s beards, moustaches, and side burns.
The travelers hopped into Colby’s cart and listened to him jabber as they explored the planet. They came to a large building with the large neon words The Filing Cabinet on the front. As they walked in, a large number of office supplies and a tempting bar surrounded them. The Filing Cabinet is considered by some to be one of the best bars in the universe. Apart from having a large selection of exotic and potent drinks, The Filing Cabinet holds the blueprints to every planet in the universe.
“Hey guys, how’s it goin?” Bob called as he walked in.
“Hey Bob, the usual?” the bartender asked.
“Nah, maybe later. We’re here on other business.” Bob replied to the pencil sharpener.
Bob lead Jessie and James into a back room, down a flight of stairs, into an elevator, down three more floors and finally into a large gray room consisting of hundreds of filing cabinets, and a large stapler with an impressive beard and moustache standing behind a counter.
“Hey, uh…can we see the blue prints for the Earth?” Bob asked.
“One moment.” The stapler wheezed.
A short while later, the stapler returned with a large electronic screen. Bob fiddled with the small knobs until Wyoming came into view. The shape of Wyoming was there, but a large black X was crossing it out.
“What does this mean!” Bob gasped pointing at the X.
“Don’t know sir. They’re self updating.” The stapler explained.
Bob slammed his fist down on the counter.
“A load of help you are! How the hell is that supposed to help us?” Bob shouted.
“Don’t know sir.” The stapler replied.
Bob growled as he dragged Jessie and James out of The Filing Cabinet. They returned to The Irregular Penguin only to find that a water cooler and a photocopier had run off with the ship’s engine. There was a small note on the side of The Irregular Penguin reading, “Sorry about the engine. Drop by sometime and we’ll be happy to tear off your moustache.”
“ARGH! I HATE THIS STUPID PLANET!” Bob bellowed. Jessie and James cowered behind The Irregular Penguin, “You two stay and guard the ship. I’ll be back in a couple of days.” Bob decided.
With that he left. Leaving Jessie and James behind with the hyperactive Colby. As Jessie and James went to their room for the night, little did they suspect that Styrofoam cups were surrounding The Irregular Penguin.