It was a lovely spring day when the robins
returned, the flowers bloomed and Bennet went crazy.
Oh,
not crazy in the sense that you obsess over something
for a bit. No, I'm talking about stark raving mad. So
crazy that the attendants from Ponoka are waiting out
back for you with straight jackets.
It had been a perfectly
normal day. They had tracked Zeta and his accomplice to
a perfectly normal town, AGAIN. They had trapped them
in one certain area, AGAIN. Agent Lee had doubted Zeta's
killer instincts, AGAIN. Agent West had messed up, AGAIN.
The fugitive pair had escaped, AGAIN.
But something about
this time had completely knocked Agent Bennet off his
rocker. Agent Lee had suspected he was heading for a breakdown
eventually, but neither she nor West had expected it to
come so soon.
They had finally succeeded at tying him
into a chair in the back room of the gorilla exhibit.
Agent Lee leaned in worriedly. "Uh, sir? Are you *sure*
you don't want us to bring in a doctor?"
"Agent Lee, I
am perfectly fine." His serious expression broke into
a crazy grin. "But I think I'm a clone now. And I can
stay at home while I'm out of town!"
Agent Lee looked
over at Agent West, who was sitting in a corner pouring
over a worn up copy of 'Of Mice and Men'. "I could use
a little help here West."
"Can't help. Busy reading."
She yanked up his book to reveal a lovely McDonalds Barbie
Toy. You know the kind with the sparkling dress, poseable
arms and real bushable hair? They were just so pretty
that West had skipped to the nearest fast food court just
to pick one up.
Putting down the pointless, yet editor-attracting
items, West took a long look at Bennet. "Truth is I have
no idea what to do. I'm used to him being the one who
thinks around here. When do you think his problems started?"
"Way back when I was just a little bitty boy," answered
Bennet pensively. He paused, considered and continued.
"Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in
a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of
the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait
Shop... You know the place... Well anyway, back then life
was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy!!!
Except of course for the undeniable fact that every single
morning my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut
for breakfast."
"Sauerkraut for breakfast?" questioned
Agent Lee, raising an eyebrow.
"Sauerkraut for breakfast?"
questioned Agent West, raising an eyebrow.
Bennet nodded.
"Big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single mornin'! It was
driving me crazy."
"Well now we know where he gets it
from." Agent Lee stared at the clock. Only 7 more minutes
until the Asylum people got there. Only 7 minutes and
14 seconds until the Asylum people got there. She would
have remarked that it was also 7 minutes, 14 seconds and
12 milliseconds until the Asylum people got there, but
only crazy people stare at clocks.
West banged his fist
on the table. "This is insane! Here we are, stuck in the
off limits area inside a zoo, while our fearless commanding
officer rants in lyrics from some 90s polka artist, and
Infiltration Unit Zeta is STILL out there!!"
West was
indeed right. At that very moment, Zeta and Ro were caught
up in another crazy adventure which ultimately resulted
in many lovely moments for ZeeRo shippers. But since this
has no effect whatsoever on this story, I won't mention
it.
There was a knock at the door. Lee opened it. The
attendants from the Holy Ponoka House of Crazy People
quickly scooped up Bennet and dragged him off to the land
of happy Popsicle.
Agent West leaned over to Agent Lee.
"So..." he said slowly, "What now?"
Agent Lee shrugged.
"There's always Oktober Fest."
~~Owari~~
::End::